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Since I haven’t had an original thought since the early 1990’s, I thought I’d just follow along. Yup, if all my friends jumped off a bridge, I’d do it, too. I’m a freakin’ lemming.
So I’m about to answer that burning question that I am sure my gentle readers have. But first, if you have a burning sensation, may I suggest:
On to the big question: What do I do all day?
I sit on the couch watching Comedy Central and either read blogs (about 50 or more per day) write blogs, and visit 3 other chatboards. I was tested a few years ago, and I read between 1500 and 2000 words per minute, depending on content, so I really do get to a lot of blogs.
And I talk to telemarketers. Oh yeah, you know all those telephone survey results that you read about, and you always wonder, “Exactly who gives all those stupid answers? What type of idiot do they interview? Who even has time for all that nonsense? Do they interview socially maladjusted shut-ins?”
Guess who always takes those calls?
My absolute favorite thing to do is to have a telemarketer just give up.
I’ve done that a few times.
Here’s what works to really mess with a telemarketer’s head: agree to everything. At some point, the telemarketer will ask for money. This is where you try to borrow it from him. Convince the telemarketer that the deal sounds so great to you, and you are ready to move, if he could only spot you the cash.
Lastly, Doodle Week is coming. I have a badge for it over on the side.
More information is available here: http://stickfiguregrrl.blogspot.com/
But here’s my dilemma
Not only do I want to participate in the biggest Doodle event in the history of the blogosphere , but I, sadly, have no talent.
I have created 2 incredibly mediocre stick figure doodles. They pretty much suck. Any ideas on how to make them, I don’t know, not suck so much?
Sucky drawing #1
Sucky drawing #2
Advice welcome.
Coming soon: Someone very special is having a birthday. Be prepared for a huge party right here. Try to guess whose birthday it will be.
Humor-Blogs.com
Re the stick figures, adding an extra stick might jazz it up a bit ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the powder, I'll be sure to pass that on to Monkey.
I feel like we really know each other now.
@ Drowsey: Hmm. I'll have to devote some time tomorrow to try that. Thanks. And the Monkey should really like the powder.
ReplyDeleteDude, those are SO not horrible stick figures. They're, like, TRUE stick figures! I love it! Totally captures the whole crotchety old man yelling at cars type theme. ;-P
ReplyDeleteLove your approach to telemarketers! Especially the part about asking them to spot you the cash.
ReplyDeleteThat has to stop them in their tracks and leave them speechless.
Your doodles.....:-)
Hey they are delightfully sticky stick men.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you using to draw them?
@ Shadow: Thanks. I think they are just a bit cheesy
ReplyDelete@ Shyne: It is fun getting a telemarketer to try to think on their feet. I like torturing them almost as much as hospital staff.
@ Claire: I used something on my computer that said paint.
I think you've set the bar too high for your stick figures, Joe-- they're stick figures-- they've accomplished what they set out to do. No need to make them overachieve. :)
ReplyDeleteThat said, maybe they could look happier. His eyebrow is angry, I think.
I use paint when I am doing the online ones, practice practice :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I have doodled something, I then upload them to picnik.com and add speech bubbles and other bits.
Here is the link Picnik.
Also I just found This dude. I think you will like his stuff.
Also How to draw Cartoons
Hope they help, if I find any more or you get some good tips let me know :)
Found some more, I am going to add them to the Doodle Week blog in the sidebar under 'Doodle Tools'
ReplyDelete@ Jenn: They should be crotchety. I'm expressing myself through the medium of stickfigurey.
ReplyDelete@ Claire: Thanks. Time is short. I need to get them ready for next week.
I normally do mine on the day, remember to have fun with it :)
ReplyDeleteOh thought you would like to laugh at one of my first 'paint' doodles.
My first online doodle
@ Claire; That's hysterical. :)
ReplyDeleteDay of? I've been stressing for weeks. These stick figures should be labeled Crotchety 12.0 and Crotchety 17.0.
Scary, huh?
Awww! You were an adorable little boy, when do we get to see what an adorable old man you've become?
ReplyDelete@ Offended: I've become quite frightening. My hobby is putting on the umbrella hat and scaring neighborhood kids. The one posted today is my last good picture.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe it for a minute.
ReplyDeleteI bet you grew into a handsome teenage heartthrob, then into an even handomer manly man and now you are so damned good looking that the Old Lady refuses to let you post photos for fear that one of us will come and steal you away from her! ;)
I was concerned that stick figure #1 had a unibrow, a very angry unibrow.
ReplyDelete@ Offended: Steal? Most days she'd be willing to swap me for last week's tacos.
ReplyDelete@ Sandy: Yeah, I was trying to get the anger across, but wound up with a uni. :(
asking to borrow money...genius.
ReplyDeleteI generally just push mute and listen to how long until they just hang up.
Hey, well, you could use a different colour - maybe repeat them in lots of different colours!
ReplyDeleteStick people rock - it worked for Lowry, why not for the rest of us??
Da Old Man,
ReplyDeleteOkay, I have some last week's Tacos I am willing to trade....and I am looking! ;)
"They could look happier"!!! OMG, isn't she the sweetest thing?!
ReplyDeleteThey're stick curmudgeons, and perfect just as they are, Joe!
@ Hypocritical One: It is pretty funny when they hang up on me.
ReplyDelete@ Bimmy: Thanks. Stick people in black ink is just so classic.
@ Skye: LOL
@ Greg: Thanks. I have a week to work on increasing the curmudgeon factor.
Oh goodness, those are hilarious stick men. I admire your effort, and I do think you made them "angry" on purpose, so ya hit it spot on. Could add another stick like Drowsey said, but like TSR..they are only stick figures. :)
ReplyDeleteHave you seen what Tom Mabe does with telemarketers? that man is king, my favorite is when he makes the telemarketer think he's just called a crime scene. roflmao.
My bad I meant Jenn not TSR. My apologies. :)
ReplyDeleteYou draw better stick people than I do LOL
ReplyDeleteGlad monkey likes the powder
@ Chica: Thanks. I'm going to look for Tom Mabe. Jim Florentine is awesome.
ReplyDelete@ Wendy: How could she not like the powder? Monkey butt is a serious disease.
Its not scary it just adds to the excitement :)
ReplyDeleteI think up ideas, but never draw anything till the day, but this time I might do some over the weekend so I am a bit more prepared :)
OH OH, pick me, I know who's birthday it is.
ReplyDelete:)
If you want to know just how funny Tom Mabe is watch this first:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8 You'll laugh your rear off, I know I did the first, second, and third time I watched it. :D
Its vague , its true. Bloggers love to answer themself.
ReplyDelete@ BchBear: I know, it's like Christmas for you.
ReplyDelete@ Chica: Will do
@ Play free: Yeah, I have extra voices in my head, I think. I can't speak for all bloggers, though. :)