You know this is important because of all the exclamation points.
Yesterday, after the Fleet arrived, there was still no movement.
Then, while cleaning me up, the aide tried to help, erm, "manually."
Yes it did hekp because it appears my butt had Been atempting to form diamonds, not realizing that would only work if I ate a coal based diet.
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Crotchety, did anyone tell you that constipation is a side effect from pain medication? I guess being pain free is worth a hand in the old poop chute eh? Glad to see you are feeling better. Hope you are home soon.
ReplyDeleteYou're a gem, Joe.
ReplyDeleteI never knew there was such a thing as "manually helping" til I saw a nurse do it to my father-in-law and I thought I could never, ever, ever do that! God bless the people who can and do.
ReplyDeleteWas it good for you?
ReplyDeleteHope things move well soon.
Take care!
Oy, flash back time. No thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteWater, fruit, pericolace. The poo poo cocktail. Try it, you'll like it. :D
Yeah, the pain meds will do that to ya. Mail delivery should return to normal once those taper off. Thinking of you every day.....
ReplyDeleteOuch! You're pooping diamonds now?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see you're back at the Rehab Center, out of the hospital. I hope you're getting better each day. How long before you can go home?
- Margaret
You are a gem indeed. I so agree with nonamedufus.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day. :)
Congratulations on your movements. I wish I could shit diamonds.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see you posting again, even if it is about deep dark scary places Stephen King never dreamed of.
ReplyDeleteAfter you've finished "tipping" the underpaid medical staff, can you send any spare diamonds my way?
It would be great if you rinsed them off first.
Sounds like you need to start eating a coal based diet.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I was starting to get a little peeved at you for failing to at least acknowledge the existence of your commenters, like you have done in the past, but I suppose this is just another symptom of your present condition. I hope they do not classify your poop as blood diamonds. I think you have been through enough already.
ReplyDeleteI loves me a good poopy post and this one does NOT disappoint!
ReplyDeleteHa!
You know sometimes I wish I had somebody to wipe me. I keep asking my hubs and kids and they still say no.
Ingrates!
Ha!
go suppository or go home (or should I say AND go home?)
ReplyDeleteMANUAL HELP!!!!! I want to ask and don't want to ask in equal measures...
ReplyDeleteAnnax
Were there mutual cigarettes lit up afterwards??
ReplyDeleteI feel for you though, I've actually had to manually help in a past profession..
How many fingers can you take?
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about the constipated mathematician?
ReplyDeleteHe worked it out with a pencil.
:D