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So, this week, I've classed up the contest with a famous painting from some guy named Dave. I saw this painting live and in person on one of my many trips to the Met in New York, and I immediately started coming up with better captions for it than "The Death of Socrates." Socrates last words had something to do with take out chicken, so you know he had to say some other really funny stuff.
(ed. note: Crotchety has only been to the Met once, but has seen the Mets many times, which is almost the same to him.)
As usual, I will dole out some craptastic prizes on Friday. Good luck, and good captioning.
Socrates would have lived if he knew about:
http://www.humorbloggers.com/
Shut the hell up! Can't you see Da old man is trying to take a nap.
ReplyDelete"The hour of departure has arrived and we go our ways; I to die, and you to live. Which is better? Only God knows. All I know is that I want some big ass titties in my face before I go."
ReplyDelete-Socrates
Yeah, he said that, look it up.
One more word out of you, I'll make you marry my daughter we keep in the cellar, SILENCE!
ReplyDeleteThe best "Pull My Finger" contest EVER!
ReplyDeleteDrama in a Bath House.
ReplyDeleteand then he stuck his finger in my ass, like this....
ReplyDelete"I don't mean to be a prick, before I bite the big one. But could it have killed any of you to wear some fucking shoes?"
ReplyDeleteDamn, forgot this is ultra high classy caption...
ReplyDeleteand I looked upon them and said "he, whom sits upon the foot of my bed in an act of defiance in the face of our fathers inserted his digit forth as such"
There is absolutely no way that I could add anything unto what you have already received. I think you may need to ask NASA if you could borrow one of their super-computers for a couple of days or so in order to determine a winner.
ReplyDeleteIn 2000 years young Americans will learn how to stick their finger up like this.
ReplyDeleteSOCRA!!!. . Cover the hell up and stop being such a tease . . . >:-O
ReplyDeleteSmell my finger. . .
ReplyDeleteNO I AM NOT LARRY SINCLAIR!
ReplyDeleteNow would you kindly remove your hand from my knee, Mr. Obama!
Whether you're a brother
ReplyDeleteor whether you're a mother. . .
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. . .
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' aliiiive
Come on, Vogue!
ReplyDeleteLet your body move to da music . . .
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Come on, Vogue!
Let your body go with da flow!
"Fuck you! That's my cocktail ..."
ReplyDeleteI've no caption this week, but dadthedude's ultra classy caption made me laugh so hard I think I peed a little. I just thought I'd share that.
ReplyDeleteIf he only knew he did not have to put his finger in the cup after scratching his ass.
ReplyDeleteOH no he Didn'!
ReplyDeleteThe importance of proper technique in a prostate exam is demonstrated here.
ReplyDelete"...and then this jerk tells me to turn my head and cough...yeah, right..."
ReplyDeleteC'mon guys. Look, don't worry about Dean Wormer's "triple-secret probation"... this is gonna be the best Delta House frat party EVER!
ReplyDeleteNo kidding fella's, I'm here to replace the light bulb on the third floor
ReplyDeleteThe fraternity alumni reunion toga party went pretty much as expected-- with most of the aged frat brothers blitzed, half-naked, angry drunks, or sleeping it off.
ReplyDeleteONE OF YOU STOLE MY SANTA BUTT PLUG AND I WANT IT BACK NOW!
ReplyDelete"Seriously! Get your hand off my leg!"
ReplyDeleteGeez Dad! Do we have to hear the kidney stone story again?!?!?
ReplyDeleteIf someone doesn't fix this damn roof soon, I'll take all my clothes off. Give me that martini.
ReplyDeleteI thought I would add this since no one else mentioned it.
ReplyDelete"TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"
I hope you have some lube handy 'cause this is your lucky day!
ReplyDeleteSensei made me laugh!
ReplyDelete'Die my dear doctor, that's the last thing I will do ptah!
He said we all have to move out - they're converting the whole damn place into condos.
ReplyDeleteAnd he shouted defiantly "Beans, Beans, the musical fruit....." and they all wept and held their heads with disbelief....
ReplyDeleteThe servant knew Socrates should have been cut off when he started demonstrating the magnification of wheat grass enemas and what they've done for his physique.
ReplyDeleteDead? DEAD??? What the hell do you mean I'M DEAD????
ReplyDelete"Yes.....Bismuth subsalicylate shall be the ingredient that works !!!!
ReplyDeleteIt shall stop the fecal matter from leaking out of all of our anus's.
I shall call it Pepto-bismol and no more nausea, heartburn,indigestion,upset stomach, DIARRHEA...."
You gimme thata wine and you getta your hand offa my knee before I puta finger uppa your butt. Where da women damnit I wanna getta laid one lasta time.
ReplyDeleteI've come too late for the "pull my finger" or the pointing or sticking "like this" jokes.
ReplyDeletedang. you gotta get up PRETty early in the morning at the Crotchety blog.
"Oh, come on guys! The wind is blowing the other way! My farts smell like roses anyway!"
ReplyDeleteI'll ask you just ONE more time!
ReplyDeleteWHERE ARE MY PANTS??
"Before I go, I want you all to know this. You -- everyone one of you is -- a bastard and this is all your fault."
ReplyDeleteNo strippers? What kind of bachelor party is this?
ReplyDeleteOK!--if you get out of my room I'll imbibe your goblet of semen.
ReplyDelete