Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the alley, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.. The stockings were hung on the sac with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would pee there...
1. "Christmas goes so much easier for Santa, now that everyone's on the Naughty List."
2. "(Hic) Y'know whad I've always wanda say ta you guys? (hic) I lov you, man. Rudolph, Cupid, (hic) Blonder, Ditzen, (hic) and all you elves, I love all you little bastards. C'mere and gimme hug. (hic)"
3. "The year the kids left vodka instead of milk and cookies."
"I used to be a six-figure GM exec, then put all my funds in a GM only stock account when a banking buddy got me a gig at Bear Sterns with a possible Congressional seat on the Republican ticket in '08."
After expressing his desire to abandon the Christmas calling, Santa numbed himself with liquid courage in hand and went through the de-initiation process where he was beaten, mugged, and fondled by his reindeers. Santa, now, you can join Hannukah or Kwanzaa. I hope it was worth it.
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HO...HO...OH...NO!
ReplyDeletepeace,
mike
livelife365
Hey, at least I didn't spill my beer!
ReplyDeleteDecember 26th...priceless!
ReplyDeleteCrotchety? Crotchety...CROTCHETY??!?!?!?!?!?!?
ReplyDelete"One too many ho, ho, hos..."
ReplyDelete"No... it's ho, ho, ho, not Old Crow, old crow, old crow..."
I don't even know what to say - wow! You really did find a craptacular photo!
ReplyDelete"Apparently Santa has no idea whether you have been naughty or nice".
Lame I know.
That's a pretty small sac Santa has got going on there.
ReplyDeleteOh.My.GAWD.
ReplyDeleteAlkie Clause needs ta lay off the candy cane juice!
Daddy!!
ReplyDeleteThat happens if you work only one day a year! What do you think Santa is doing from December 26th til December 23th?
ReplyDelete"Hey ... did I leave the gas on?"
ReplyDeleteHey, even Santa and his "little" helper need a rest.
ReplyDeleteI forgot I pissed in this bottle....
ReplyDeleteTwas the night before Christmas, and all through the alley, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.. The stockings were hung on the sac with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would pee there...
ReplyDeleteSomehow I just knew that this picture was going to show up here today....
ReplyDelete"Confused about the placement of his hat, Santa is experiencing a slight wardrobe malfunction."
Looks like Santa had one too many at the annual Christmas party AGAIN!!
ReplyDeleteTwas the night before Christmas
ReplyDeleteAnd there in the clink
Slumped Santa, buck naked,
Ho-ho-hosed from the drink
Why Santa, what a big hat you have there.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks but everyone else said all the good ones.
Christmas just wasn't quite the same after the 2008 market crash.
ReplyDeleteIt finally happened. Mrs. Claus pushed Santa into the naughty list.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know..
ReplyDeleteIf you're bad, you're supposed to get a lump of coal in your stocking...
But coal's DAMNED expensive! SO deal with what you get!
That, and my hat is going to substitute for the stocking, too..
Maybe just one more drink from this little medicine bottle of mine.....
"Hi little girl. You still wanna sit on Santa's lap?"
ReplyDeleteTwas the day after Christmas...
ReplyDeleteDon't have a caption, but I just have to say--WOW. LOL
ReplyDeletePutting the Ho in Holidays.
ReplyDeleteAnd here you thought that this hat I'm wearing was to keep my head warm!
ReplyDeleteWell, you're partially right...
Sadly, it wasn't until the "wrap party" for Trading Places that everyone realized that Dan Akroyd was, indeed, a drunk bum Santa Claus in real life.
ReplyDelete1. "Christmas goes so much easier for Santa, now that everyone's on the Naughty List."
ReplyDelete2. "(Hic) Y'know whad I've always wanda say ta you guys? (hic) I lov you, man. Rudolph, Cupid, (hic) Blonder, Ditzen, (hic) and all you elves, I love all you little bastards. C'mere and gimme hug. (hic)"
3. "The year the kids left vodka instead of milk and cookies."
Step right up and play "throw the hat on the santa stick."
ReplyDelete"I used to be a six-figure GM exec, then put all my funds in a GM only stock account when a banking buddy got me a gig at Bear Sterns with a possible Congressional seat on the Republican ticket in '08."
ReplyDelete"F*cking asshole."
No! No! NO!
ReplyDelete(Oh, and by the way, I mentioned you on the Jannaverse today). :)
ReplyDeleteAfter expressing his desire to abandon the Christmas calling, Santa numbed himself with liquid courage in hand and went through the de-initiation process where he was beaten, mugged, and fondled by his reindeers. Santa, now, you can join Hannukah or Kwanzaa. I hope it was worth it.
ReplyDeleteGives a whole new meaning to 'working balls to the walls' to get ready for Christmas!
ReplyDeleteDuring the annual Reindeer games, Pin The Hat On Santa went very wrong!
ReplyDelete''He drinks because he doesn't fill out the hat any more.''
ReplyDeleteThat's terrible!!! How can you laugh at that!
ReplyDeleteI had no clue that Santa wore wife beaters! White trash!!
My first try sucked, so I'm trying again.
ReplyDelete"I think it's so cute how Andy Dick dresses up as santa every year!"