Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Remember me?

I live in your neighborhood. I yell at the kids who play ball in front of my house. I complain about the price of everything, and constantly remind everyone that gas used to cost 29 cents a gallon. And, back in my day, kids had respect. Today, my favorite thing to do is sit by the side of the road and yell at cars. They drive too fast, or their radios are too loud. With this internet thing, I can yell at a lot more people, and since most of them have cars, I'm killing two birds with one stone. I expect to do a lot of yelling, so check back in and see what I'm yelling about. Today, I'm just going to list all the things that piss me off. 101 people or things that piss me off (in no particular order) 1. Annoying kids 2.Administration 3.Aluminum foil 4.AOL 5.Al Franken 6.British people 7.Brittany Spears 8.Basketball 9.Bennies (it’s a Jersey thing) 10.Bob Grant 11.Cucumbers 12.CNN 13.Chickpeas 14.College Football 15.Cell phones 16.Cigarette smoke 17.Corporate culture 18.Country music 19.Cold weather 20.Car insurance 21.Crab legs 22.Computers 23.Democrats 24.Drive thru workers who screw up my order 25.Diet soda 26.Eels 27.Eminem 28.Enron 29.Exxon 30.Elbow macaroni 31.E-bay 32.Friends (TV show) 33. Freckles 34.French (the) 35.Frankfurters 36.German potato salad 37.Green ketchup 38.Geese 39.Green jell-o 40.GWB 41.Harry Potter 42.Halloween 43.Hummers (SUV) 44.Humidity 45.Hot weather 46.Iced tea 47.Irons 48.In-laws 49.Jam 50.Kennedys 51.Liberals 52.Liver and onions 53.Liars 54.Lima beans 55.McGreevey 56.Meetings 57.Mayonnaise 58.Michael Jackson 59.Mets (the) 60.My Honey 61.Michael Moore 62.Nuns 63.Opera 64.Onstar commercials 65.Online porn 66.Paulie Shore 67.People who won’t learn English 68.People who beep their horns too soon. 69.People who say catsup instead of ketchup 70.People who say “noodles” when they mean spaghetti 71.People who pay by credit card when the bill is less than $10.00 72.People who get by on their looks 73.People who will count the items listed 74.Pomegranates 75.Pea soup 76.Politicians 77.Quince 78.Republicans 79.Rush Limbaugh 80.Royalty 81.Rap 82.Radishes 83.Salmon 84.Screaming kids 85.Stupid people 86.Single ply toilet tissue 87.Snakes 88.Stray animals 89.Sand 90.SUV’s 91.Taxes 92.Tofu 93.Toll booths 94.Vaseline 95.Vanilla ice cream 96.Water chestnuts 97.Work 98.X-wives 99.Yellow cars 100. Zebras 101. Politicians.

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