Thursday, September 10, 2009

My New Award

Dictated at 7 pm, Wednesday:

Don't be too jealous, but I just found out that after being here 3 weeks, I am being considered for "Best Patient of the Year." Humble guy that I am, I am sure that I will win! The chosen hemotologist came in to let me know he was going to take more blood and do more tests. The surgeon came in later to let me know that it would take FIVE days to get the test results back...this takes me to Monday. Maybe then they can operate. Incredulous.



http://www.humorbloggers.com

35 comments:

Jenn Thorson said...

OH NOES....

Could Mrs. Crotchety find you some, say, books on CD you could listen to, so you can drift in and out on the meds but not be bored to tears?

Hopefully at least the hospital cable is working.

Secondary Roads said...

You are (obviously) not the Outpatient of the year. I guess that means that you are the Inpatient of the Year. Congratulations my friend.

Grace said...

Laughter IS the best medicine but sometimes you need the other kind...

nonamedufus said...

Well I guess a Patient's award is cool. What you deserve, though, is a patience award!

ReformingGeek said...

You should be given an award for all that you have been through. Take care. We miss you!

kathcom said...

I'm sure everyone on staff loves you for being funny and not venting your frustration at them. You do deserve the Best Patient Award, but I wish you weren't in the situation to qualify for it.

I hope they can put a rush on your blood tests. Do they always take that long? Maybe they're doing a new one--it takes a while to do a culture. Are they checking for a different kind of staph or something?

Sandee said...

I'm sorry that this is taking so long. I hope you can get a firm date soon so you can put this behind you. Hang in there Crotchety. You have my vote you know.

Have a terrific day. :)

Jen said...

Maybe if you weren't such a wonderful patient they might want to get rid of you. Start spilling bed pans and leave your gown open more often.

Quirkyloon said...

You know DOM I've been thinking.

All this crap you've been going through just might turn out to be a huge blessing.

How?

The zombies.

No way no how will they want to be biting you. Your blood would give them too many problems!

Ha!

*grin*

(Sorry Dude!)

Pricilla said...

Holy Crap! They STILL haven't operated?!

Good goat man I think I will ship Abby out there for some good doctor butting!

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

You know, you gave out your room number. I know where you are. I could give you the surgery myself and get the damn thing over with. I wasn't really good in science (almost failed chemistry and biology), but I'm pretty good with a knife, except the time I cut my finger washing dishes and needed stitches. OK, nevermind. Probably not a good idea.

Miss you, Crotchety!!!!

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Crotchety, I hate to break this to you, but they're not naming you patient of the year because of your smiling personality. It's because you're like an annuity for the doctors and hospital staff, who have Porsches to buy and kids to put through college. And that's why they're keeping you there so long.

Technically, that means the award should be named Most Profitable Patient of the Year. :)

shyne said...

I think it's time you started charging them for rental of your body!

So, what's the prize for being Patient of the Year?
A new johnny? A padded bedpan?

Glad to hear from you....:-)

Kirsten said...

Feel better old man! May all the pain meds you need be readily available!

Lola said...

That must be so frustrating. Hears hoping that nurses are at least hotties. Then at least you can enjoy the scenery while you're there. (No offense to Mrs. Crotchety.)

Adullamite said...

Well who else could be patient of the year of you are around?

Don said...

I can't believe all of the crap you are going through... Are they incompetent, or would that be the one that said you were lucky you had that small stroke?

Jormengrund said...

I've got a simple question here Crotchety...

Are you the only "old" guy there, or are there more?

Only reason I'm asking is because you know that folks tend to make up stories to the older folks who are a bit light in the head in order to keep them at the happy old-folks' home! *wink*

Keep some good humor going, and I'm sure you'll be home in no time..

If not, make sure you shamelessly fondle all of the female nurses, and blame it on your frail mind!

Get better soon, seriously.

Collette said...

I thik noname is right! You should get the most Patient Patient award! And as Quirky said, no zombies will come near you, but I have a feeling that you are in the presence of vampires with all that damn blood they are taking!
Good luck whenever you get those blood results.

Swirl Girl said...

Shoot - and I thought you were vying for the Best Blood Coagulating of 2009....

this sucks for you I know.

Marie said...

Oh for fuck sake!!!! This is ridiculous. Are they waiting for you to die of old age so they don't have to operate at all?!?!

It is ruining my Angel of Mercy timetable because I have to have another surgery too, so I have limited time where I can stand by your bedside wringing my hands and looking like Ingrid Bergman in The Bells of St. Mary's.

I was really looking forward to that. :( They are spoiling everything.

Marie said...

P.S. Hi Mrs. C.! Sending you virtual hugs and praying for peace of mind, peace of heart and strength for all of you. xoxo

LL said...

You know... you're really milking this hospital stay for all it's worth. ;)

Glad to see you're still in good spirits. All the best Old Man...

Janna said...

Worrying and thinking of you!
As always!

If I lived closer to NJ, I could visit in person; I could dress up as a pork roll and sing classic rock songs while doing the chicken dance.

That's GOT to help, right?
Maybe you can ask one of the nurses to try it.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

If you win, maybe it will bump you to an earlier slot in the surgery schedule?

Is this "Patient of the Year" as in, the man with the most patience? {SIGH!}

Webster said...

You must have good insurance; otherwise they'd send you home for five days.

Enjoy your stay. Get up and walk around if you can. Ask Mrs C. to bring in treats.

Big sigh.

Berowne said...

Dear Crotchety Old: I know how you feel. I've been there, done that: crotchety, old, hospitals, surgery, the works. I have learned that keeping a positive outlook is important -- though usually, of course, not possible.

dana said...

The golden years....what idiot thought that up? It had to be someone with dementia.

I still re-run my yearly 9/11 tribute post to my husband and all firefighters. It still has all the ORIGINAL comments from my readers and you are there. It's kind of a trip down memory lane for all of us, and I invite readers to continue to leave comments, year after year, as a type of "blogger reunion".

nipsy said...

This really is crazy. Its the type of thing you only read about in horror books. Or "Surgery gone Wrong" DVD's. I've got not only my fingers and toes crossed, but now I'm adding the nips as well. (Hopefully you pull through soon because I'm not sure how long I can keep the nipples crossed before they go numb and fall off)

Charmaine said...

uhhh. Uhhh, Where have I been? I'd like to hear more about your condition if you're in the mood to elaborate.

I'm related to, what, a million physicians? I have a degree in Molecular Biology which, since I practically flunked out, means nothing.

But email me if you have a moment. You know about the horse whisperer, right?

I'm the Doctor ass kicker. I'm not proud of it, but it has served me and those I love well.

charming_mary@hotmail.com

Kirsten said...

Wishing you all the best Crotchety!! You deserve an award : )

Tippylou said...

Just found your blog, prayers going up for you.

Anonymous said...

Cool on you! You must have had a lapse of Crotchety behavior to even be in the running.
Speakin of audio books, if you're not really picky(and can handle Stephen King & authors of such genre) I can send some your way. Lemme check your site for email addy and I will send u a message.
Now, that being said, I will quote the quote my Dad always says to ailing relatives: (bear in mind that we are Deep South people)
"Awrite, nay-ow, yew gee-ut own up-own outa thay-ut bay-ud an quee-ut actin sillay".
I know I'd gee-up own up so I wouldn't havta hee-eer that again no more ever.
Ame I. in West TN

Anonymous said...

Ok, not seein an email addy, but if you were to send me a message at
ame it up @ yahoo plus the com, I bet I'd get the message.
Ame I. in West TN

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