Sunday, November 15, 2009

The crazy night nurse strikes again

Regular readers know about ny crazy night nurse. She woke me up one time at 2 a.m. for my 4 a.m. pickup for dialysis. Another time she woke me up at 2 to make sure I wanted to get up at 3;30.

Well Friday she struck again.

My wake up time is 3:30 a.m. (Jealous? Don't be a hater)

Anywho, she comes into my room at 3:40 and I am sound asleep. She wakes me out of what was obviously a deep sleep then she asks me if I'm ready to go.

I smell like warmed over gym clothes, and my diaper smells exactly as you think it would.

No, I'm not. So she tells me they'll be in to get me ready, and hands me Dilodin. Normally, I get it before dyalysis because the transport guys are as gentle with me as Rocky with a side of beef. But if it is too early, I babble incoherently. It was too early. So I got to explain to transport what they had to do while I was high. Surprisingly it all worked out.


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20 comments:

ReformingGeek said...

Sometimes I wonder if the night nurses are more drugged than the patients. Sheesh!

Hang in there!

Quirkyloon said...

Well I am jealous. You fell into a deep sleep in a hospital?

AND... I'm jealous, because I'm really contemplating wearing diapers.

My hubbie doesn't think I should.

Hmm.

nonamedufus said...

Holy crap, Joe, you're famous. I looked up dilodin on Google and found your name next to it!

You are a fine example of better living through chemistry. Hang in there.

CatLadyLarew said...

Boy, those night nurses are making sure you're having a real fun fest there!

FishHawk said...

Was she one of the ones you groped?

Collette said...

Wow, old man! It seems they are very free with the dialudid there. Save some for us! LOL! At least they give you a reward for waking up so damn early!

Jenn Thorson said...

Maybe the Night Nurse is a part of some issue in the space-time continuum. She seems to be setting her time machine incorrectly and undershooting.

Charmaine said...

If she were a decent nurse she'd be on the day shift.

Sandee said...

Quirkyloon made me laugh too. You two should do stand-up together. Just saying.

Have a terrific day Crotchety. :)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I'm trying not to be jealous or a hater, but with all your bragging, it's not easy. You're lucky I like you.

Don said...

Hahaha! Dude, you had better find a way out of that place before you die from too much handling.

LL said...

I've got to agree with Nanny... stop bragging. Nurses waiting on you hand and diaper, getting high whenever you want... it's shameless to brag about it like this!

Janna said...

Fun things to do when waking Joe up at 3:30 in the morning:

(1) Claim to be lost and ask for directions to the beach.

(2) Say "OMG! You're that crotchety guy! Can I have your autograph?"

(3) Dress up as a giant pork roll and dance around the room singing songs from Charlotte's Web.

(4) Say "I'm a figment of your imagination, Joe, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop waking me up so early in the morning."

lot 2 learn said...

Nurses that work the night shift are a strange breed.
Glad to see you posting.

Da Old Man said...

@ Reforming: Wouldn't surprose me

@ Quirky: Yeah, bit it was chemically aided,

@ Nomnamed: I want to be their spokesmdel.

@ CatLady: They keep things exciting.

@ FishHawh: I'm hoping while stoned I'd choose pretty nurses.

Da Old Man said...

@ Collette: But I limit myself to 2 4 mg pills per day. I need one in the morning when I go out because transport is a bit rough. Sometimes I have a second at night because little nagging pains don't let me sleep.

@ Jenn: Makes sense to me.

@ Charmaine: She's ok just can't tell time

@ Sandee: Quirky and Crotchety, we would make a great stand up team.

@ Nanny Goats: I know

@ Don: They will throw me out soon enough.

@ LL: Today was the day both beautiful nurses were on and assigned to me. :)

@ Janna: I think the transport gys did the pork roll thing. Or maybe it was the drugs

@ Lot 2 Learn: Indeed.

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