Tuesday, March 16, 2010

How to have fun while while at the rehab center

Sure are a lot of hours to fill.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I spend about 5 hours at dialysis then about 30 minutes in PT.

Tuesday, Thursday I spend about 2 hours. Weekends about each day in PT about an hour.

That leaves (multiply by 7, add 23, subtract 14, divide by pi, add the negatve square root of 123) 39,534 hours, more or less, for mischief.

Because mobility is limited, so is mischief.

I have a grabber, which doubles as a nurse hiney pincher. Any nurse within about 6 feet of my bed is fair game.

Next I have my wheelchair, ideal for racing and cruising the halls for hiney pinching on the go.

OOOOOOOOOHHH There goes a new nurse. Maybe she'll want to look at my naughty bits.

Got to go. See youse soon.



Sandee said...

Good to know that you are keeping yourself occupied. I'll bet Mrs. Crotchety is rolling her eyes all the time. Just saying.

Have a terrific hiney pinching day. :)

Don said...

Hehehehe...you "sound" a lot more "normal" for the first time in a long time. I know that's good, but it's got to scare some people. Pinch some butt for me. My grabber is temporarily out of order.

Jenn of Many Cabbages said...

Old Man!!! Greetings!! Happy to see, er, hear, er READ you.

Don's right-- it's a very familiar Crotchety tone. Things must be on the up-and-up. And hurray for that!!!

Unfinished Rambler said...

Maybe you need to retitle your blog to "Naughty Old Man Chases Nurses."

nonamedufus said...

Wow, you can do math. The new, new math. I'm impressed!

ReformingGeek said...

YIKES! Glad to hear you're having fun. ;-)

Be careful. Those nurses have strong arms and access to pillows.

Janna said...

Go ahead and pinch the male nurses too.
Tell them it's from me.

Glad to hear from you again. :)

Charmaine said...

K. I'm a bad blogger. I need to know what your diagnosis is. I'm, on my off hours, a doctor ass kicker.

Please tell me...what is your diagnosis. I won't kick any ass, I'll just research things...I like putting my degree in Molecular Biology to work...on occasion.

FishHawk said...

Two posts in as many days? Um, we weren't missing you that much.

Da Old Man said...

@ Sandee: Yup. How did you guess?

@ Don: Ive been pinching enough hiney for everyone :)

@ Jenn Great to...have you visit. (like the way I got around the conundrum?)

@ Unfinished: Maybe. But I'm not sure what to do with one if I caught her.

@ Nonamed : Not sure if I'd know what to do if I caught one

@ Reforming: I think they enjoy a hiney pinch now and again.

@ Janna: The very idea of male nurses is against the laws of nature. Pinching one would be agaist everything I stand for.

@ Charmaine: Kidney failure (end stage) and a stroke.

@ FishHawk: I love you, too.

Jenny Brown said...

I just came across you blog.....You're a funny guy....I'm reading thru your posts and trying to figure you out. I'm a little confused about your life - but hoping to get to know you better..........You sound like a fun guy!

Lin said...

Joe! You are back to normal!!! Well, semi-normal...well, you know what I mean!! I'm glad to see you posting and being crotchety again. :) Missed you dearly, pally. Go get 'em with your grabber--you deserve it after all you have been through!