Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I'm So Bored

While I am recovering from last month's operation, I have gotten very little done. Ok, I joined MySpace, and I have been blogging. Not exactly making me eligible for a lifetime achievement award. I also hang out at Nedthetoothpick.com. Again, it is fun, but I'm getting pretty bored with that, too.
Lately, I have been thinking about my two lives. Or would it be lifes? Either way, I have a real life (RL or RW depending on which nomenclature one prefers) and a cyber life. Both are equally real to me. And that may or may not be a problem depending on what particular point of view one takes. I know of some people who refer to cyber friends as "pretend" friends. If one can't touch them or see them, then they don't exist. That is not exactly true, because I believe in a lot of things I can't see or feel. I believe in oxygen, and I believe in qualities such as love and hatred. Ok, cyber friends are real friends. I can count on them to cheer me up, or help me through rough times. Anything a RL friend can do, almost, a cyber friend can.

So where is this essayette going?

I have no idea. I'm just so friggin bored. I'm just thinking of concepts. One that really interests me is reality. Deepak Chopra said that we each have our own reality. My reality, that is, the way I view things is based solely upon my personal values, my education, my history, and of course, my concept of things as they are and should be. Maybe I've been listening to a lot of 70's music lately. That has me thinking in such conceptual fashion. Maybe I'm just so damned bored that nothing is interesting to me. I don't even feel like taking on the mantle of TV sherpa today. And, most surprising of all, I have not turned on the TV other than to watch the news this morning.

I feel like I want to make a major change in my life. It is frustrating because I couldn't if I wanted to do so. Add to that I have no idea what I even want to do, and the frustration increases exponentially. I don't know how to get to where I want to go, because I have no idea where I even want to go. It's tough to draw a map when one doesn't know the destination. I spoke to someone on the phone today, and he told me his goals. And I was so jealous. I would love to have a goal. Yeah, I know, getting healthy is a great goal for me. Losing weight would be another. But these are not satisfying to me. I don't even know why or why not. I just know that they don't do it for me. Not today.

I'd like to think that if I just took a break from everything, I could come back refreshed. But how can I take a break from doing nothing?

My head hurts as my blood pressure is hitting record highs. I have no idea why. I fully expect my brain to explode and to have blood spurt out of my ears. Cool visual, but it would probably hurt a lot.

Oh well, back to my incredibly boring existence. *heavy sigh*