Monday, January 19, 2009

Crotchety the Etymologist

I pay attention to words, how they are used, what they mean, and that stuff. I guess I could be a junior etymologist. I like words, but I'm not really committed to them.

Anyway, some words are starting to just really annoy me. The current one is "historical." I get it, Obama is the first President with African roots, or whatever the heck the press has decided is so historical. Our first black President? Our first half black President? Whatever, anyway, every single thing he does is historical.

Ok, by definition, isn't everything everyone does historical? Could the word be any more overused? Is there anyone in America left who doesn't realize that everything Obama does will be the first time he does it as President? It's all historical. Enough with the historical hysteria.

The next word that is really getting on my last nerve is "natural." Pizza Hut has an all natural pizza, with natural pepperoni. Yeah, I hate those other pizza joints that sell pizza with fake pepperoni.

And what the heck is a natural ingredient? The pizza could be made from whale testes and sewage sludge and would be natural.

Do you know what is in natural pepperoni? Do you want to know? I'd guess not. Do you care? If you did, you probably wouldn't eat pepperoni, natural or otherwise.

And I leave you with this: Am I the only one bothered by commercials in favor of high fructose corn syrup? The average American consumes 40 lbs of that crap per year, and the commercial states it's fine in moderation. What is moderation? We currently consume nearly a pound per week per person. No wonder we are so fat. No one ever explained moderation. Maybe the commercial should state that, too.


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31 comments:

Krissi said...

I'm with ya Crotchety.. "Historical" is about to make me suicidal...... and what's with spending $150Million on one big party... don't they know we are in a recession??? I mean come on, the man got elected we all know it so what's the big deal about him being sworn in? Oh wait it's Historical so it has to be over the top!!! Bahhh Hummm Bug!!!

Jan from BetterSpines said...

Hey, what about "organic"? Since when was any food inorganic? Seriously, it's just that the paparazzi can't think of any other words. Their vocabulary is sadly lacking and they don't own a thesaurus. Keep on crotcheting - I luv ya!

FishHawk said...

I have found that with some words, changing the way they are spelled changes their entire meaning. Take "historical" for an example. For if you substitue the first "i" for an "y," and the "o" in the middle for an "e," you get something completely different, and it still applies to the press coverage leading up to Inauguration Day.

Combson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
~*~Shadow.Crystal~*~ said...

I'm with you on the whole "historical" thing... although the phrase that gets me going is "history being made!" ~puke~

melissan said...

You ARE a crotchety old man, but certainly a funny as hell one.

Aren't old men historically crotchety naturally? Unlike sweet little old women, sweet as corn syrup?

Sherry said...

Great post. I write about words rather frequently on one of my blogs.
Wonderful comment by melissan also.

Don said...

Forget Obama and Pizza Hut. If I get my gov't. bailout, then that will be a historical day, and will be sweet-naturally!

Heather said...

I hadn't even thought about the "natural pepperoni" before. Thank God I don't eat meat - I don't think any meat is "natural" these days. Unless it was shot by Sarah Palin!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I'm with you on this one Crotchety. I'm sick of the hubbub about the historical messiah with the Midas touch.

This is one sweet post. Have a terrific day. :)

Michelle said...

Ok i admit i use the word historical A LOT!!! But now i am starting to hate it.

How about the words:
Thank god bush is gone!!! Or
The only bush i trust is my own!!!

Or
Get out of the whitehouse bush!!!

Either way, i am happy!!!

Have a good Monday old man!!!

The Self-Deprechaun said...

When I hear 'natural' i think of your poop jewelry or anything that is a process of nature. So think about that when you order from Pizza hut. MMM..savory, natural poop!

dizzblnd said...

Great! NOW those words are going to bug me for the rest of my life as well .... thankyousomuch
HFCS is THE devil amd it's EVERYWHERE

It should be outlawed

Jenn Thorson said...

Natural... yup- lips and beaks, nature at its finest. :)

Tiggy said...

In the event Obama historically eats a high corn-fructose natural pepperoni pizza for his historic inauguration supper...

Bradley said...

Great post. I too am fed up with the commercials about eating high fructose corn syrup in moderation. Go to your kitchen cupboard and start looking at the ingredients. The stuff is in anything. To not eat it requires a lot of effort.

Da Old Man said...

@ Krissi: Humbug indeed. LOL

@ Jan: Organic is an excuse to charge double, I guess

@ FishHawk: True dat.

@ Shadow: It is silly, isn't it?

@ Melissan: I can't speak for all of us, but I am. Aren't old people supposed to be kindly? Fairy tales lied.

@ Don: Don't hold your breath. You are too comepetent toget bailed out. You have to be a bigger screwup.

@ Heather: I'm afraid to eat any pepperoni, natural or otherwise

@ Sandee: I wish him the best, but he can't possibly do what everyone is expecting.

@ You have a great Monday, too.

@ Self: It scares me, too.

@ Dizz: Glad I could help

@ Jenn: Pepperoni made from all natural chicken lips

@ Tiggy: That would be historic

@ Bradley: It is so hard to avoid and eat in "moderation."

@ Sherry: I thought so, too

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

nice rant. I fully agree on the overuse of the word historical and the high fructose corn syrup thing. Doesn't stop me from paying no attention to how much of it I consume, though.

Jen said...

My least favorite word is "leverage" a hold over from my cube farm days. "Random" is another one that is just used wrong by kids these days. "Snap!" wtf is that supposed to mean?

Swirl Girl said...

The press like the adverstising industry makes mockery out of our language and grammar and syntax.

'Naturally' it peeves me as much as it peeves you.

The Hawg! said...

My first wife was an entomologist. That's a different breed of cat altogether...

At any rate, those lying liars who put together the corn syrup commercials bother me, too. And I'm sick of the word "historical." I wonder if the media will assign the word "historical" to the rotten things in the Obama administration, too.

Such as, "he historical Obama recession" or "the historical Obama gas crisis."

Anne said...

Natural drives me nuts because it doesn't mean anything at all. As you said, sewer sludge can be all natural. I haven't seen the commercials for high fructose corn syrup. Rather than spending all that time and money trying to change its image, why don't they just find a replacement? Give me a break.

Paul Eilers said...

But, but, but, it's a historical inauguration...

And it's only going to get worse.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I'm offended by your post that is clearly discriminatory! I'll have you know that two of my best friends are Whale Testes and Sewage Sludge. And no, they do NOT look alike! So watch your mouth, Mister!

Da Old Man said...

@ Petra: THanks. You mean you don't care about the commercials?

@ Jen: Snap is just the universal word of the day, replacing cool in the 70's excellent in the 80's, wicked awesome in the 90's.

@ Swirl: They tend to change words to suit themselves.

@ The Hawg: Don't be silly. Everything for the next 50 years will be Bush's fault.

@ Anne: It's cheap, it's sweet, and it's possibly addictive. It will never be replaced.

@ Paul: While I hope for the best, my knowledge of economics suggests we are in for some serious trouble.

Da Old Man said...

@ Nanny: But they make for terrible pizza toppings. Goat, on the other hand is a principle ingredient in all natural pepperoni.

Lauren said...

Crotchety for President!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marvel Goose said...

Historical is an adverb. It is often misused. The adjective Historic is the correct usage.

If some network news idiot talks about a Historical Inauguration you can laugh at him as a ungrammatical fool.

Of course, I haven't actually watched a network news program in months so I don't have these stress issues.

Chunks of Reality said...

I think it would be absolutely historical in this great nation if we used the word "moderation".

;)

Kasey said...

Marijuana is also natural but that doesn't mean you should smoke it.

I love your blog by the way and plan on stopping by regularly .

cindy said...

Those high fructose corn syrup commercials remind me of the old ads telling us to smoke cigarettes. And what's with the vegetarian fed beef?