Friday, January 02, 2009

Zippety Doo Dah

The Google is the greatest thing ever. I have always had a lot of questions, and before The Google, I was only able to call the librarian and ask her for help in finding answers to my most pressing questions. As you can imagine by the type of "research" that I do, the librarian was usually less than thrilled to hear from me. But now, I am able to find out in minutes any of the many questions that I had pondered for years.

For example: What do circuses and zoos do with animal poop? We know the monkeys just fling it at unsuspecting visitors, but what about elephants, rhinos, and giraffes? They don't have the luzury of a hand option.

According to the respected journal The Farmer's Almanac Ringling Brothers Circus donates elephant poop in every community in which they set up their tents. This is good news for the average gardener who is looking for free fertilizer.

But for those of us with a bit more style, well, this Photobucketcertainly beats a big nondescript bag o' pachyderm poop.

These are little elephant's, rhino's, hippo's and giraffes, made from their own doo, which has been heat sterilised. They are for use on outdoor pot and container plants and when watered, slowly dissolve releasing their nutrients.

Since everyone thought the jewelry was such a bad idea, would this be a better way to make up for not getting the Crotchety Old Lady a Christmas gift? She likes gardening and elephants, so that would work, right? Maybe I should get her a pack of seeds, too. I'll tell her it's a Do it Yourself Bouquet, so it's also a craft project. Win-win-win.

I really do so much for the woman. She still isn't speaking to me, and is probably really upset about that. Besides, I'm almost out of clean underwear, and I'm sure she wants to wash a few loads. Her greatest joy is in doing things for me. She's never said that, but I'm pretty sure that is how she feels.

Stop by tomorrow for the caption winners and more stuff.



http://www.humorbloggers.com/

26 comments:

Lauren said...

Elephants. Hmmm wondering if you ever want a chance at getting laid again? LOL

Lipstick said...

LMAO about "zoo doo"!

Aoi said...

The ultimate in recycling eley poo. Excellent find.

Marvel Goose said...

Isn't Google wonderful? I mean, you would have had to search a whole lot of Farmer's Almanacs to find the ad for elephant poo compost.

Adullamite said...

Lacking cash I once gave a lass a packet of seeds as I couldn't afford flowers.
I have not heard from her for a while.......

dani c said...

Hmmm poo ? Does it smell after you plantthe seeds and water it ? I can't imagine getting a whiff of elephant crap every time I opened up my front door..

Mulled Vine said...

Elephant dung is a well known aphrodisiac.

ReformingGeek said...

Yikes! I hope things get better around the Crotchety household. At this point, FORGET THE POO! It's time to move on.

I can send instructions on how to operate the washing machine, dishwasher, or any of the other appliances if you're confused. Mrs. C would really like it if YOU did the laundry....

Jenn Thorson said...

Somehow, Crotchety, I'm thinking you might be in even deeper doo-doo with THIS doo-doo...

But good luck to you.

memphisdonna said...

My neighbors spread horse poop on their yard as they were seeding it.
All the kids were sooo excited ~ they thought the circus had come to town!

CastoCreations said...

There's a company out there who makes paper products out of dried elephant poo. Wish I could remember their name but it's pretty popular apparently.

Da Old Man said...

@ Lauren: That ship may have sailed

@ Lipstick: There is an abandoned zoo near my home. It is very lush. Just sayin'

@ Aoi: Thanks

@ Marvel: Yup. Saved me possibly years of searching archives, and perstering the library lady.

@ Adullamite: Thereby debunking "it's the thought that counts" myth.

@ Dani: I would hope not. That would certainly kill repeat sales

@ Mulled: Really? Hmm. I need to get her extra

@ Reforming: She would feel I'm infringing on her.

@ Jenn: It does seem as if things aren't improving at all. Maybe I'll make her a macaroni necklace or something.

@ Memphis: Oh no! I went through Amish Country during planting season. It smelled like the circus, but not a clown in sight.

@ Casto: Time for me to fire up The Google. :)

AngieSS said...

Hahaha...you are so going to be in the do- elephant house -- that woman of yours must be a saint!

Google is cool on the whole search thingy I agree, though I have to admit, I've never looked anything up on poo. I guess I'll have to just continue to come here to get all my unasked questions answered.

I wonder what that poo elephant looks like once he starts melting into the ground?

Sherry said...

Yep, Google is great! I can find answers to questions I didn't even know to ask!

Don said...

Ahhh, the mere thought of gift giving and animal poop warms my soul...

Chunks of Reality said...

My one New Year's wish is that your Entrecard price will one day go down and I will actually be able to afford you. :) LOL

Happy New Year!!!!!

~*~Shadow.Crystal~*~ said...

I think the mini poop animals with a bag of seeds, maybe done up with a bow in a flower pot with some gardening tools would actually be a kick ass gift for any gardener... then again, I'm weird. ;-)

Michelle said...

Old man you scare the poo out of me, but i like you anyway!!!

Thankfully i am not your old woman and never will be, but you do make me giggle!!

I am all for knowing poo stuff!!!

Jormengrund said...

Yeah, I think you're on to something there Crotchety!

Oh, and if she does happen to go completely postal on you, can I have all of your readers?

That'd be great!

Happy New Year!!

Da Old Man said...

@ Angie: It just seems I get in deeper. Fortunately, I am so darned cute when I grovel that she keeps forgiving me.

@ Sherry: I know. And the best part is I usually think of questions in the middle of the night when the library lady is sleeping. Google never sleeps

@ Don: Somehow, I knew it would

@ Chunks: I'm all about making wishes come true. I'll send you credits today.

@ Shadow: I think you are creative and a free thinker.

@ Michelle: Thanks

@ Jormen: I'm rewriting my will as I sit here.

The Self-Deprechaun said...

You are the King of Poo my friend. I will be honest, I wanted that title but I am no match, you are the King. I mean if poo is going to get thrown at me, I don't want some unstructured, unidentifiable mass thrown at me. That happens too often and I don't feel good about it. I want it to be cared for, finely molded, heat pressured w/absolute sensitivity and I never want to ask, I wonder which animal this came from? You are in da zone Old Man!

Out-Numbered said...

Funny stuff my friend. I'll keep coming back. Congrats on the award.

Out-Numbered

dizzblnd said...

I google myself everynight.

Congrats on winning Humor Bloggers of the Year!

Living la Vida Fearless said...

The name of the company is Rainbow USA. I sell their products, paper, journals and key rings..it's all made from an elephant shelter in Thailand. They're on the "net" if you want to find them. Living la vida fearless, Janet aka the elephant trainer www.tobeyourbest.net
whatsyourelephant@gmail.com

unfinishedrambler said...

Somehow I have to agree with Jenn, I'm not sure you're helping your case. You might be wearing dirty underwear too, I'm thinking after this.

Janna said...

This would be fun to try, if I was actually able to grow plants instead of killing them.
I have never, ever been able to keep houseplants alive.
Ever.

I finally just gave up and bought the fake variety.
They're doing pretty well, though occasionally they cry out from the layers of dust that has choked them.