Monday, August 03, 2009

Advice for Men

Every so often I give advice for men to help them keep the woman in their life happy. Or to women on keeping their man happy. (Men are simple, beer and sports and occassionally a little wink wink nudge nudge knowwhatImean?)

While I have explained The Price Is Right Theory on gift giving (women get as excited as the idea they may get a gift as actually getting one) occasionally it becomes necessary to buy something for them.

The thoughtful gift giver pays attention to a woman's needs and selects the perfect gift.

Here's some examples of how I have delighted the Crotchety Old Lady.

Last winter, I noticed that she was struggling while shoveling the walk. It wasn't even Christmas, and BAM! I got her a brand new ergonomic snow shovel. This little gift will make her think of me for years to come. I'm sure she appreciated that it was for no reason. That made it even more special.

It's the little things that count. She complained that she spends so much time in the kitchen and could use a break. So BAM! I got her a cookbook for 30 minute meals and easy clean spatulas. Thar was the happiest Mother's Day ever!

While it is important to listen and observe, sometimes just go with your gut. I did this one birthday, and it was her best gift ever.

I woke her up nice and early, 5 a.m. because she wouldn't want to waste any valuable birthday time sleeping. I rushed to get her in the car by 6, and started our journey. As we drove down the highway by dawn's early light, she pretended to be grumpy, but I know she was really happy. As we approached her birthday gift, I wasn't able to keep it secret.

She was going to drive a steam train in New Hope, Pa.!

She was overjoyed! At first she didn't want to climb aboard the engine. But the fireman encouraged her, and she climbed aboard. I made her promise not to stare at the shirtless, sweaty, rather well muscled young fireman as it would probably make him uncomfortable while he shoveled the coal into the boiler, and she said her eyes would not wander from the track.

Well, she successfully helped the engineer by ringing the bell and blowing the horn. She got off the train an hour later thoroughly soaked and with soot in every crevice of her body. And she pronounced it the best birthday gift ever as she waved goodbye to the young fireman.


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27 comments:

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I'm just glad it was only the horn she blew in the company of that well-muscled fireman. You're a brave man, Crotchety, tempting her with that sort of thing!

Lola said...

Hmm, maybe you could teach Anastasia a thing or two. I had to make my own birthday cake this year.

Janna said...

Poor Mrs. Crotchety.

Hopefully she still loves you enough to refrain from sneaking up and beating you senseless with the ergonomic snow shovel.

I bet those could really pack a punch.

nonamedufus said...

You're such a thoughtful romantic and a shining example to all men everywhere.

Lauren said...

I'd watch what goes in my drip if I were you. LOL

Secondary Roads said...

Oh Crotchety,
You da man!

Melanie said...

I'm going to show your post to my hubby. I busted my plastic snow shovel to pieces in the last snow storm. Maybe he will take the hint.

ReformingGeek said...

You are one special guy, Crotchety!

BTW, I saw Mrs C. at your local firestation yesterday.....

Grace said...

You're all heart...

Sandee said...

I'm just glad your taken. Bwahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day Crotchety. :)

Adullamite said...

It is no wonder that women flock to you! Such kindnesses!
Mind you I would be careful of those firemen near her.

ettarose said...

Well I see you have recovered enough to remember all the nice things you did for the Mrs, Pre-mini stroke. I am sure she is just as happy.

Melodie said...

Oh my ! You should write a romance novel ! Glad you are feeling better.

Collette said...

I'm sure she will do the same for you! Sometimes 'tis better to give then to receive.

Swirl Girl said...

Are you sure you're in ReHab under doctor's orders or Mrs. Crotchety's??

Pricilla said...

That is indeed a delightful way to spend a birthday. But ya know there is a DINNER TRAIN RIDE you could have taken her on that would not have required the early rise.

It is good dinner too. I love New Hope.

Don said...

Since I don't have a woman in my life, or some say too many, I only have to worry about do take 'em to Taco Bell for Mexican or Pizza Hut for Italian on their birthday? It's a challenge and one of my sweeter moments, but nothing is too good for a date. Especially when she leaves the tip. We don't get snow here, but I think a nice, sleek rake for the leaves is a good idea. Thanks Joe.

Sherry at EX Marks the Spot said...

What man, Crotchety. What a man!

Marsha said...

You are one thoughtful S.O.B Crotchety.

Seriously, what woman wouldn't be thrilled with a shiny new snow shovel and a set of sparkly new spatulas?

A bit of friendly advice... just never, ever give her a gun.

Stacie's Madness said...

well, aren't you the gem.

Buggys said...

Hmmm..advice to live by, I guess it's the intense thought that counts!

dana said...

I gave up looking for you to return to the blogging world and wrote Judi just to make sure you were still above ground. glad you're back. Now I can sleep.

dana said...

You can stop scratching your head and acting confused over my comment. I thought I was somewhere else.

I'm 60 now, so that explains it.

RE Ausetkmt said...

have mercy.. only you old man would be so thoughtful. everywoman needs a strong young sweaty fireman.. shovelin well,,

LL said...

I never get tired of hearing about your selfless acts of kindness. Especially when they're directed at the COL...

I hope she realizes that she's got herself a keeper.

CastoCreations said...

I love practical gifts. :) And actually I'm partial to the "no gifts" gift. It's so much less stressful ... plus I'm really cheap so when hubby spends our money I get stressed.

I do love the idea of a day with a well muscled fireman. heh

Anonymous said...

Hon, you do realize that muffly sound you hear when you walk past that certain closet is Mr. Riples,right?
Ame in TN