Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Formula for sleep

Since so many of my internet buddies have trouble sleeping I'll share my sure fire way to a restful 8 hours.

Step 1 : Have bum washed with warm, soapy water.
Apply powder and fresh diaper.

Add Ambien 5 mg

Plus Dilodin (Also spelled Dilodid) 4 mg equals good night sleep.

You're welcome

By the way, Ambien is known for hallucinations involving giant chickens I am disappointed to say I was hallucinaton free.




36 comments:

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Joel Klebanoff said...

Joe, I'm one of those internet buddies who has trouble sleeping. You've already said you're welcome so I will say a big thank you. But, um, I think I'll pass if possible.

Get well soon. Very soon!

MA Fat Woman said...

I sleep like a baby most nights. I'll try your recipe the next time.

Adullamite said...

I'd rather stay awake and avoid those chickens if you don't mind!

Collette said...

Thanks for the advice but I've heard about those chickens. A drug induced dream about chickens just isn't right! LOL

FishHawk said...

15mg should do the trick. 20mg brings on giant ducks with alligator teeth. So, I wouldn't go there if I were you. On second thought, since you are probably sitting there in your powdered diaper just a-glowin' with Giant pride right now, maybe you should take 30mg. I don't know just what that will bring, but it would give me something to grin about.

Don said...

My roommate takes Ambien. Occasionally she has hallucinations. Unfortunately, hers usually involve waking me up at 2a.m. and asking who the little people are playing music in her bedroom...

Jenn Thorson said...

I'm afraid the only chickens I want to dream about are over dumplings, with gravy. :)

LL said...

Damn DOM...

Better luck next time on the chickens.

nonamedufus said...

Hey Ambien is Tiger Wood's sex enhancement drug. You ARE getting better Joe! Pleasant dreams. ;)

Nicole said...

I was prescribed Ambien a couple years ago...I don't quite remember chickens but while i was laying in bed looking at my computer desk it transformed into Noah's Ark complete with many animals(so there might have very well been a chicken). And Don I as well had little people in my dream who were dancing and singing. Very strange nights most of which were spent not sleeping...Needless to say I don't take those anymore to help me sleep.

Tor Hershman said...

Crotchety old man has DVD contest.

Lots of awful movies and ancient TV shows that
YOU COULD WIN
just by enterin'.

Details at moi's blog.

Stay on groovin' safari,
Tor

Anonymous said...

nice ..................................................

Mr. Condescending said...

It would only be better if you got to watch monsters, inc or nemo!

Mr. Condescending said...

And I'm serious about that!

ReformingGeek said...

Clean bums are always a good thing!

;-)

Watch out for evil chickens.

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shyne said...

Giant chickens, huh? Yikes.

I'm with Jenn....the only chickens I want to dream about are surrounded by dumplings and swimming in gravy.

I hope this Christmas finds you home and enjoying your family, COM!

Janna said...

Giant chickens are wonderful, as long as you have enough barbecue sauce to cover them all.

Thinking of you!!
I hope you're doing better.

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