FROM JFK TO SUB-ACUTE

Last night Crochety was sent to a new sub-acute facility. I asked that he come home, but the hospital felt he was "too fragile". They seem to think that he is just too weak now, which is exactly what he projects. He did get excited this morning when I spoke with him and told him I bought a new 40" TV so maybe that will be incentive enough for him to work out more and get his strength up! Lord knows I have tried EVERYTHING else...

His new place is AristaCare @ Norwood Terrace in North Plainfield. Room number is 222B and his phone is 908-222-5140.

Here we go again!


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We Thought Calcium Was a Good Thing.

Crochety was due to go to rehab yesterday but the hospital is confused about where he is going. Crazy right?

Then his blood calcium level shoots up and the endocrinologist says he isn't going anywhere, except a new room!

He is in 2549 and the phone number is 732-321-7125.

We are hanging in there...Thanks everyone,

Mrs. "C"

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Room 4307. Haven't we been here before?

Crochety is still in the hospital but they moved him back to the Telemetry floor and now he is back on a heart monitor. We don't know why yet. Maybe just a precaution. All he is lamenting is how he is being pried away from the prettiest nurses.

He has been nauseous and dry heaving for the past 2 days, for which he is getting shots to calm his stomach. His para-thyroid gland is acting up and producing too much calcium. It is like a vicious cycle, no? All the doctors agree that if he pushed himself to move more and get the circulation pumping he would be on the road to recovery...

His new phone is 732-321-7383.

We are wishing you a great Superbowl day! Maybe he needs a couple of beers to set him up right. I will be snacking and cheering next to his hospital bed...oh goody...

Crochety is still going with the Colts, but I am sure it will be the SAINTS!


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new room...old friends

They moved him down a floor, room 3221.

His phone is now 732-321-7214.

Crochety sat in a chair today for an hour. It took 4 little nurses to move him in and out of bed. Don't know if it was good or bad that they recognized him and updated him on what was new with them.

They will most likely be sending him on to the old rehab facility for p/t very soon.



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From ICU to Telemetry

Thank goodness the blood pressure has stabilized! Phew!

Crochety is still in tremendous pain, but trying to hold off the pain meds...when they moved him to his new room, they didn't transfer all his med orders and he didn't get a sleeping pill as he requested so he was up all night. This should be the least of his problems!

Now in room 4305.

Phone is 732-321-7384.



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HANGING IN @ JFK

Thank you all for the good thoughts and prayers!

Joe got through the leg vein bypass on Friday afternoon, but is still in ICU because his blood pressure cannot be stabilized. If he takes the pain meds (LOTS OF DISCOMFORT SO YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS THINKING) he needs a medication that constricts his blood vessels which is detrimental to his leg blood flow.

As soon as he gets a phone again, I will give you the new number!

You are all such a blessing!

Tired Mrs. "C"

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THOUGHT HE'D BE HOME BY NOW...

Since Crochety's team of doctors have now decided his circulation is not close enough to what it should be, they are going to do the approx. 4-hour leg vein bypass operation tomorrow.

This is serious, so send ALL good thoughts and prayers. Thanks for all your past kindnesses...

Mrs. "C"


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So far, So good

Crochety got through yesterday's angioplasty with a big "YES" from Doc Wong. The decision was made to do this first because the bypass will take approx. 4 hours. For this part he didn't have to go under anesthesia, just had local. Doc thinks circulation to the foot has been improved so much that Crochety may not have to have the leg vein bypass. He debrided the wound on the his heel and if that improves over the next few days, Crochety will have gotten yet another miracle!

He was moved to room 2519 and his new phone is 732-321-7148.

Oh, Crochety says "Go Jets!"...EX Mrs. C says, "Go Saints!"...



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operation

Hi All,

Leg vein bypass operation set for tomorrow, Friday, at 1:30 PM.

Thanks for your good thoughts and prayers.

EX Mrs."C"


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update news

This is the EX MRS. CROCHETY.

Against my better judgement I read the last entry and just reminded myself why I do no longer read the old fuddy dud's posts (because he will never grow up).

However, I felt I should let everyone know that he is in JFK in Edison, yes again, room 2543. His phone is 732-321-7121.

He should be having the vein bypass surgery tomorrow on his leg and hopefully this will increase circulation so his foot wounds will heal.

Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers.





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I still got it

Please if you see Mrs. Crotchety do not reveal the contents of this post. I'll tell her the post has to do with something medical so she won't read it.

But you can tell everyone else because it is amazing.

A really pretty nurse has been flirting with me.

Yes, indeed.

This old crip has been flirted with by a really hot nurse who is in her early 20's. And she has seen my naughty bits. (They must be even cuter than I thought.)

I should go back and find my first serious girlfriend, who dumped me, and let her see me today, with my Svengali-ish charms. HOOHAAAAAA.

I was going to end this post with a pcture of myself, but then I would have to deal with scores of women getting all flirtatious. That is just too much darn work.



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Eight, so far

We've all seen the devastation in Haiti. Watched the tally rise.

10,000,

20,000

50,000

200,000

But it's really meaningless to most of us.

But not to my aide, Nerlande (Nelly,) who is from Haiti. She has been walking around for the last few days hiding tears. I asked her if her family has been in touch with her, and are ok.


She has lost some members.


"Eight, so far."


Now it became very personal.

I know I'll remember hearing that for a long time.

The kind, gentle woman who has helped care for me for months has suffered a tremendous loss. Nameless, faceless victims aren't dead, but relatives of a friend. And since the initial reports, she has lost even more family and friends. The toll rises.

Sure I gave her a condolence card, and a few bucks to help out. But it is so little. I am asking everyone, if you have been thinking of sending some money to a reputable organization to help out, please do. If you haven't, please reconsider.

Here on the East Coast we have a huge Haitan community. Many of our friends and neighbors have lost family. Help for their sake.


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Crap, crap, crap

Next week my leg is being operated on. Seems there is no circulation below the knee (oh the joy of diabetes) so they will do like a bypass in an attempt to save the leg.

Sounds like a lot of pain. I hope youse guys get me through it like the previous operation. This shouldn't be as potentially dangerous as the last time, but things have a way of going badly for me. The lovely and talented Mrs. Crotchety will provide updates. I'll be getting a fresh Brazilian.
As usual, if I die, thanks for reading.

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Hey there, little buddy

I've always been a rather corpulent guy, with my recent weight loss (180 lbs) some rather striking changes have occurred.
I can see my toes!

For the first time in many, many years I can see my naughty bits!!! And they are cute as can be.

I knew they were there all along, but I was going on blind faith, for there had been no visual confirmation since 1968.

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Bunch of rambling stuff

Has anyone noticed Brendon Fraser has gained a lot of weight, but all in his face?

The EMT transporting me today looked exactly like Zena the Warrior Princess.

I thought that was weird.

I wonder if being an impersonator would be a good job? It would certainly be easy enough. I look enough like John Popper to impersonate him, unfortunately no one knows who he is.

I've been making progress. I get in a wheelchair using a sliding board.

Sounds like fun, huh?

Imagine shoving a board up my bum, then shimmying down to the chair.

Oh joy. Splinters on my naughty bits are just one hazard.

Speaking of my naughty bits, a new aide started last night and within minutes, she was introduced to my naughty bits.


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Whoosh!!!!!!

Christmas came and went and Mrs. Crotchety didn't get a present from me.

Let me run my idea past youse because usually your ideas are pretty good. I was thinking of a stripper pole. Good idea or great idea?


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Merry Christmas

Merry Chrismas to everyone!!!

May there be Peace on Earth!!!



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Guess where I'm going in January?

Well after conferring for 2 months about my foot (not the reason I've been in the rehab center,) the doctors decided I need to be operated on.

So, until the sawblades have another whack at me, my phone number is 732.650.8419

If you haven't done your Christmas shopping for me yet, a phone call is the perfect gift.

And a special thank you to The Middle Aged Fat Woman who sent a box o' Christmas Goodies, along with phone calls.

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Holiday Shopping

I wanted to buy Christmas presents for all my bloggy friends, but the shopping opportunties are rather limited.

Here is what is in your virtual Christmas package:

An adult diaper, available in white (how borinng)and sea (foam much more festive.)

4 oz. cups of cranberry juice

An autographed picture of my naughty bits ,suitable for framing, (not so special as nearly 300 health care professionals and a dozen nursing students have seen them already.

A Sponge Bath by Dave

Let me know which you picked... Or whether you picked them all.

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Formula for sleep

Since so many of my internet buddies have trouble sleeping I'll share my sure fire way to a restful 8 hours.

Step 1 : Have bum washed with warm, soapy water.
Apply powder and fresh diaper.

Add Ambien 5 mg

Plus Dilodin (Also spelled Dilodid) 4 mg equals good night sleep.

You're welcome

By the way, Ambien is known for hallucinations involving giant chickens I am disappointed to say I was hallucinaton free.

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