''I'm not sure why he told you *this* was a Chinese Finger Trap, Andy. Not much of a puzzle, really. Hell, I can get my finger out, easy. See. Out. In. Out. In. In,out,in,out,in,out. Hey, you've got a hard on!... Aw, Dammit! You tricked me again!''
I'm a crotchety old guy who enjoys ranting and raving about the injustices of the world. While many of my rants are political in nature, I can complain about almost anything. If I were a cartoon character, I'd be Grandpa Simpson or an elderly Eric Cartman.
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38 comments:
Yes...I scored !!!!
For an additional 3 minutes, please insert 75 cents
The rules clearly state that your ass cheeks must be 2.7 centimeters apart in order for you to be goalie.
So tell me again where your ticklish spot is?
Damn thongs!! Pull it out, will ya?
Harry was surprised to learn his proctologist was on the team.
Hey Rubba, com'ere. You gotta see this.
Dude, UNCLENCH!
Have you seen my whistle?
peace,
mike
livelife365
WhenI kick the ball, you go here, then Swinkleback will intercept here.....
"Let me take a look. There's no way you are gonna fit that soccer ball up there. Ill take this bet."
So that's what a BUTT PLUG is? Cool!
lmao @ Ma
Although he ran like a girl, Francis earned the MVP award when he clinched the game . . .
Do these soccer shorts make my ass look big?
Yes, the game raised $2500 dollars during prostate cancer awareness month . . . but our players were completely humiliated. . .
"Nope, leg still doesn't kick when I push there. Are you SURE it works that way?"
What's difference between a soccer dad and a pit bull?
Lipstick . . . :-0
I know I left my keys somewhere.
So that's where my hamster has been!
Once again Pelé was ejected from the game for giving a Dirty Sanchez to a goalie for not blocking the goal . . .
"...and the love goes in right here."
Maybe, we should just stick with high fives and chest bumps?
hmmmmm Chelle, these boys might like to meet the fench rugby team.
K, here goes:
"Jerry, would you mind putting some sunscreen on my back?"
"Hey, stop, that tickles!"
And then Beckham said "No...Victoria likes it right HERE!"
You're facing the wrong way; no wonder they scored two goals off your bum.
These pre game exerises are ridiculous !!!!
Did you find my jock strap or what ?
* sorry for the bad spelling on the last one *
Ahh... so THAT'S where I left my watch!
I got nuthin. Everyone else out did me, as usual.
"Ok... I swiped my credit card, but where did it go?"
How's it looking? Is it smooth enough yet or do I need to keep spinning?
Dude, just hold it in there for ten more seconds and we SO win that twenty bucks!
"I'm telling you, no matter how hard I kick it, that ball is not fitting in there."
Come on now, a little bit to the right, and you got it!
...and the Enterprise, piloted by Captain Kirk, circled Uranus in search of Klingons...
Nothing here... Oh, you said BELLYBUTTON lint!
''I'm not sure why he told you *this* was a Chinese Finger Trap, Andy. Not much of a puzzle, really. Hell, I can get my finger out, easy. See. Out. In. Out. In. In,out,in,out,in,out. Hey, you've got a hard on!... Aw, Dammit! You tricked me again!''
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