Thursday, October 15, 2009

Phun with Pharmaceuticals

In case you missed it, I've been in the hospital the last 7 weeks enjoying surgery and other delights.

I also learned of Dilodin.

While I am no sort of recreational drug user, I almost look forward to various pain killers the doctor describes. This time I developed a favorite. Not only does Dilodin have incredible side effects, incredible halluciations, but no giant chickens. Instead I saw different people in my room and imagined my numerous gaseous emissions could be seen by me in shapes of mardi gras beads of various sizes and colors. Weird, huh?

I also have found out that sponge baths are not what they are cracked up to be especially when given by a guy named Linus.

I have lost count of the number of people who have seen and grabbed my naughty bits.

I have access and so I should be blogging regularly soon. I am making some progress.


http://www.humorbloggers.com

47 comments:

Carolyn said...

So glad you are back and feeling better. Looking forward to more posts!

CatLadyLarew said...

Welcome Back! Glad to hear you're enjoying better living through chemistry!

Sandee said...

I've missed you something awful. I'm glad you're back. Wow, you must have been on some powerful dope. Those are some hallucinations. Or maybe they aren't. Just saying.

Mrs. Crotchety has done an outstanding job keeping all of us informed. Just so you know.

Have a terrific day Crotchety. Big hug. :)

Phillipia said...

Welcome Back, DOM.

Got any extra pain meds for your friends????

Anne said...

I am so glad you will be back to blogging on a regular basis. We have missed you! I bet Mrs. Crotchety is relieved that you are getting better. With her updates, I think she has earned herself another pair of moose poop earrings.

Deb said...

Well hot damn and hallelujah, he lives!

So nice to have you back in the blogosphere, Crotchety! You certainly earned your blogging name after the past 7 weeks. You might think about changing it to Crotchety Old Crotch if they keep grabbing your naughty bits.

ReformingGeek said...

I"m so sorry your naughty bits were over-exposed. I think I saw that someone posted photos.. Never mind. That was something else. Your couch maybe?

Glad you're back!

Me-Me King said...

Yea! Da Old Man is Baaaaack! All is right with the world.

Pass the Dilodin please.

Jen said...

Yay! I am so glad you are back, even if you are under the influence. As for Northern Light flatulence my first ex husband used to fart and the room would fill up with a blue/gray fog. I wasn't on drugs at the time either, just sayin' it's possible.

Grace said...

Such very good news - glad you're back and better...

Quirkyloon said...

Yay! Yippee!!

Yay! Yippee!

DOM and his naughty bits are back!

This calls for a DDP on ice!

Lola said...

Yay! You're able to post. Good to know the meds are so entertaining. Hope you're feeling better soon.

LaurAyn said...

YEAH! Glad you're back!

LL said...

Good to see you back. Really good.

FishHawk said...

Well, it's good to see that dilodin hasn't dulled your quick wit. I WANT SOME!!!

Adullamite said...

Great to read you again!
Send some of that stuff over here will you!

The Peach Tart said...

Continue healing.

Collette said...

AH yes, the pleasures of dilaudid (that's how it was spelled when I had it). I believe it is the best pain-killer, ever!
Keep us informed of your progress. You know we love details...LOL! Glad to see you around a little more!

nonamedufus said...

Good to see you up and around the interwebs, Joe. Today the hospital bed, tomorrow the couch!

AmyLK said...

Glad to see you are getting better! Listen to the Drs and Nurses.

moooooog35 said...

Crud.

Can you tell my how I got that way? cuz it's been a while since anyone's grabbed my naughty bits.

Thanks in advance.

shyne said...

Welcome back!
You've been missed, as you can see...:-)

Kate said...

So glad to read a post written by you! Glad you're on the mend and very happy to see you back online!

vanilla said...

Glad you're back. Keep healin'.

PJ said...

it is great to see you back and with your awesome sense of humor still intact!

hugz!

Joel Klebanoff said...

Welcome back! Too bad about the absence of giant chickens in your hallucinations. They can come in handy in these tough economic times.

Too bad about Linus, too. In my fantasies, the nurses giving me sponge baths are always voluptuous women. I guess I might be a tad overly optimistic in that.

Get better soon. It's great to have you back.

Jenn Thorson said...

Woo-hoo! All hail the return of the prodigal Old Man!!!

Don said...

Good Joe. Making progress is the best news yet! I don't take pain killers much, but I still see my farts as Mardi Gras beads. Must be the water...

Jan from BetterSpines said...

Welcome back old man! We have missed you. It's great to hear that you are on the mend.

RE Ausetkmt said...

Heyyyyyyy JOE ! I hear you getting your Dilaudid Ooooon.

wrote about the pillbillies and you want to read it - so go seeee,,

Marie said...

You're back!! You're back!!

It was only 7 weeks?!?! It felt like 7 years. And I can't imagine how it was for you and Mrs. C.

Alas, dilaudid does nothing for me. Very few drugs do. I was on oxycontin from May until 2 weeks ago and I kept thinking "people kill for this stuff?" I didn't get it.

I must have really done a number on my liver in my youth.

All this blather is to keep me from being mushy. I am so glad you are better. :) {hug}

Janna said...

Hurray for improvement!

Don't worry too much about Linus. He was always pretty good-natured, what with the security blanket and all.

If you start to see Lucy, Snoopy, and Charlie Brown, you might want to take a little less of the drugs.

Or a little more.

Anonymous said...

I really liked the epidurals I had while birthing my daughters. I especially loved the Staydol (sp? probly wrong)the nice nurses pumped into my i.v. before the epidural while birthing daughter the first. Yeah, I was still in pain, but I didn't even care. I was so sleepy, that was the most carefree pain I ever had.
Glad to see you back.
Ame in TN

HR Diva said...

Joe,
i will be over to see you when the migtaines get in better control. for the most part i dont drive much anymore with the pain level i am in.

As always you are in our thoughts and prayers. Can't wait to see you again.
mb

Tony said...

such great news,so glad you're doing better.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I am so glad you are on the mend!

The Offended Blogger said...

Is it really you??? Better show us your naughty bits so we know you aren't an imposter. ;)

Ann said...

Glad to hear you are headed in the right direcation and enjoying the meds

Michelle said...

Old man whats happening???

DRUGS!!!!

Kirsten said...

I'm so happy you're back and seem to be your old crotchety self!

Swirl Girl said...

You're Baaaaaack!

glad to see they can take the crotch out of you, but your still crotchety!

Pricilla said...

I remember that one....

Glad you and your bits are getting better. It's been a bit crazy around the Farm. There are kids and kittens and the publicist is going crazier.

Charmaine said...

Damn. You're in Hospital and STILL funny as hell?

Must be the drugs.

I need some. I have a broken heart. But they don't give ya drugs for that. Bastards.

What was/is your malady? I'm gonna ask LL.

Lin said...

I miss you, Joe!! I can't wait to have you back here posting--drugs or no drugs. :)

kathcom said...

Congrats on finally getting the surgery done and sorry about Linus.

If everyone had to go through what you have to get some "recreational use" there would be a lot fewer addicts in the world.

Once they wean you off the good stuff, you might miss seeing your gas as mardi gras beads...but rest assured, I will never get the image out of my head. Thank God there's no detox for your skewed sense of humor.

Informatii said...

Very interesting post... I can see that you put a lot of hard work on your blog. I'm sure I'd visit here more often. George from wanted cars.

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