Saturday, October 24, 2009

Important poop update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know this is important because of all the exclamation points.

Yesterday, after the Fleet arrived, there was still no movement.

Then, while cleaning me up, the aide tried to help, erm, "manually."

Yes it did hekp because it appears my butt had Been atempting to form diamonds, not realizing that would only work if I ate a coal based diet.



18 comments:

ettarose said...

Crotchety, did anyone tell you that constipation is a side effect from pain medication? I guess being pain free is worth a hand in the old poop chute eh? Glad to see you are feeling better. Hope you are home soon.

nonamedufus said...

You're a gem, Joe.

BONNIE K said...

I never knew there was such a thing as "manually helping" til I saw a nurse do it to my father-in-law and I thought I could never, ever, ever do that! God bless the people who can and do.

ReformingGeek said...

Was it good for you?

Hope things move well soon.

Take care!

Marie said...

Oy, flash back time. No thanks for that.

Water, fruit, pericolace. The poo poo cocktail. Try it, you'll like it. :D

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Yeah, the pain meds will do that to ya. Mail delivery should return to normal once those taper off. Thinking of you every day.....

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Ouch! You're pooping diamonds now?

I'm glad to see you're back at the Rehab Center, out of the hospital. I hope you're getting better each day. How long before you can go home?

- Margaret

Sandee said...

You are a gem indeed. I so agree with nonamedufus.

Have a terrific day. :)

Jen said...

Congratulations on your movements. I wish I could shit diamonds.

Janna said...

It's good to see you posting again, even if it is about deep dark scary places Stephen King never dreamed of.

After you've finished "tipping" the underpaid medical staff, can you send any spare diamonds my way?

It would be great if you rinsed them off first.

LL said...

Sounds like you need to start eating a coal based diet.

FishHawk said...

Okay, I was starting to get a little peeved at you for failing to at least acknowledge the existence of your commenters, like you have done in the past, but I suppose this is just another symptom of your present condition. I hope they do not classify your poop as blood diamonds. I think you have been through enough already.

Quirkyloon said...

I loves me a good poopy post and this one does NOT disappoint!

Ha!

You know sometimes I wish I had somebody to wipe me. I keep asking my hubs and kids and they still say no.

Ingrates!

Ha!

Swirl Girl said...

go suppository or go home (or should I say AND go home?)

Anna said...

MANUAL HELP!!!!! I want to ask and don't want to ask in equal measures...

Annax

nipsy said...

Were there mutual cigarettes lit up afterwards??

I feel for you though, I've actually had to manually help in a past profession..

MA Fat Woman said...

How many fingers can you take?

Mulled Vine said...

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

:D