Saturday, July 26, 2008

You Can Make a Million Dollars a Day, Too

This is one of the best emails ever.I thought you would all enjoy it. It was sent to me it by my friend, Freddie.
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It's TRUE !!!!!!!

No kidding Make one million dollars per day I will show you how it's done ...step by step I have been doing it for five years already ...

Just send me five dollars, Please, my kids need braces ...ok send three dollars .. Wow, see you already saved two dollars and we just met ..

Imagine if we got to know each other for a few months ?????? We could be talking thousands, uhhmm millions.

OK, wait one sec.. I need to do something .......
OK I am back, just made another million, that was fun As I was saying please send me three dollars ...

I really could use the money, I have a roof to fix, dry cleaning bills plus my printer (Cannon bubble jet) is almost out of ink.

Ok, if you send four dollars I will tell you real cool gossip from my neighborhood. I live in a one bedroom apt in the Bronx. Mansion in the Hamptons.
I would give you my phone # but it was shut off oops I mean, I’m not home.

I am not one to flaunt my wealth.... however last evening I ordered Chinese food .....They said delivery was five dollars extra!!! So I said "what the heck, I can meet you half way "
See I saved $2.50 already & showed you how ~~~

These are secret tips I have developed over the years ... and I will be happy to share them with you ..
All you need to do is send two dollars ...

Wow you already saved another buck... it's cause I really like you ..

What are you wearing ? Ooops wrong e-mail Sorry ...

ok , back to making money.

Ok, here is another secret , always carry around a ten thousand dollar bill and act very aloof when buying an item .. Example : I would like a slice of pizza , do you have change for a ten thousand dollar bill ? They usually say "nope" Bingo ~~ FREE PIZZA ~~~ See , I already taught you how to eat for free ~~

By the way , this secret does not work in Kosher Deli's for some reason I tried but they said they did have the change I might try a twenty thousand dollar bill I think they have a picture of Abe Vigoda on them .

So do I have you boonswaggled yet ? Ooops I mean Uhhhh …you trust me, right? Hmmmm ok. I don't blame you ..This does seem to good to be true .. I will now prove it to you ...

YES PROOF !!!!!!

Here is an interview with my last customer~~
Customer: Yes I did make one million dollars in one day with your special secrets, Uncle Freddie Freddie: Please do not mention I am your uncle !!!
Customer: Uhh ok , how come I haven't received crap yet from your special program ??
Freddie: Shut the hell up, you imbecile !!!!

FOLKS ~~ !!!~~~ Sorry , that never should have been released to the public however I feel so close to you all now .. What are you all wearing ? Ooops wrong e-mail again

Anyway, please send Two measly dollars will ya ?? Please ~~~~ TWO DOLLARS IS ALL I ASK OK ONE DOLLAR WILL DO oops cap lock

Submit your moolah, buckeroonies, gelt, gefilte fish, or whatever you can spare to:
Freddie
Main Street
Downtown, New Jersey USA

21 comments:

momjeansblogger said...

That's a great email, but everyone knows that Millard Fillmore isn't on the $20,000 bill, it's Abe Vigoda! You commoners get on my nerves sometimes.

BTW-Do you think our former Pres. Fillmore got his ass kicked in school because his name was Millard?

Da Old Man said...

I love it. I'm going to change it right now. That is so much funnier.

Bradley said...

I don't think Abe Vidoda is on the $20,000 bill. I think you're confused because he's 20,000 years old.

Da Old Man said...

@ Bradley: Could be. :)

Drowsey Monkey said...

Can I send a toonie?

Da Old Man said...

@ Drowsey: Soitenly. :)

Jay said...

Ah, great idea! I need some extra cash! I think I'll just copy and paste and pirate your excellent begging letter for my own use.

Ta, luv. ;)

Richard Simmons said...

Because of all the love you have shown me - The Check is in the mail: Richard Simmons

Da Old Man said...

@ jay: That would be great. Everyone will be rich. So we can go buy stuff.

@ Richard Simmons: That would be swell. You're not lying to me again, are you Richard?

G. said...

Ha that was amusing, that email was all over the place. I would be totally happy with a buck

Dr. Rob said...

I'm looking forward to saving half the deliver fee for Domino's tonight. I'll send you your percentage. Thanks. Wow, I'm feeling richer already.

Ben said...

wow! what a good spam email! I can get rich...heeeeehehehehehehehe (wow i'm an idiot)

Da Old Man said...

@ g: I'm reasonably sure it started with my friend, Freddie. He originally posted it on a very public chatboard about 4 or 5 years ago. Every interent mail started somewhere.

@ Dr. Rob: You will be 1/500,000 the of the way to your million today.

@ ben: LOL

pamela said...

These are great ideas!! could you send me one of those 10,000 and possibly a 20,000 dollar bill to get started? You can consider it charity; I am sure with all your millions you will need a write off :)

Da Old Man said...

@ Pamela: Can you break a $50,000? That's all I have.

timethief said...

I'm sorry but I have no plug nickels to send you to help you out with your get rich scheme. However I do have a tip that I'll share with you. Heck we bloggers all know how to make a million bucks, don't we? Write an ebook about how to make a million bucks on the internet and wait for your customers to arrive -- I hear there's a new one born every minute. :P

Renee said...

and right there this secret does not work in Kosher Deli's for some reason is where you lost me.

Armando Torres said...

You should hold up a sign that says "Wife has been kidnapped, I'm short 2 to 3 dollars. Please help me out Ill make you rich"

Maybe you can send me 2 to 3 bucks, Im getting low on Apple drink. Oh, whats Apple drink you ask, the ingredients are sugar, water, and green. Mmmm, de-Lish.

Da Old Man said...

@ Timethief: Hmmm. ebook you say? LOL

@ renee: Long story.

@ Armando: MMMM. Apple with green.

DeadRooster said...

You are confused. I think Abe Vigoda's likeness was on the cough syrup bottle you downed before you wrote this crazy blog post.

You still make more sense than all those "Make Money" bloggers.

Hilarious!

Da Old Man said...

@ DeadRooster: I do love my cough syrup