Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Spam for colon health

No, not
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but those annoying little emails. Though I am pretty sure that canned stuff will clean out my colon as well as anything.

Has everyone noticed that spammers tend to mix it up a bit from time to time? No longer do I get those lovely messages suggesting that they can embiggen my naughty bits, or offering me exclusive access to videos featuring, ermmm, a more loving relationship between man and the animal kingom. No, today, spammers are very interested in my colon.

Not only do they offer me various exotic products to make me poop like a racehorse (I've seen a racehorse poop, and it made me jealous) but the spammers remind me of my own inadequacy in this matter on a daily basis.

And that isn't bad enough. Every day, at least in a few messages, there is a notification that an ex has been seeking me.

Would she be so interested if she knew I have fecal insufficiency?

Is it to much to hope she knows how to use

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I keep adding names to my blogroll. If I'm on yours, and you aren't on mine, please remind me.

http://www.humorbloggers.com/

26 comments:

LL said...

A whole fleet enema? Wow... I'm afraid I'm still only a single car kinda guy...

I guess there's always a hope for when I get older...

Chris said...

Just found you (and your Yankee blog as well) through Humor Bloggers. Great stuff. And since you asked, yes, you are on my blogroll.

I look forward to making this a regular stop on my blog rounds.

dizzblnd said...

Am I the only one to find it strange that your bowel movements (or possible lack thereof) reminds you of people who may or may not be on your blogroll?

dizzblnd said...

i just realized I am in the "may not" category

ReformingGeek said...

Why do I leave your blog each morning and suddenly need to poop?

Oh, wait. Maybe I should be thank you for that.

;-)

Jen said...

After all the poop comments I must go...

SPAM, the "meat" is awesome stuff. I only just tried it for the first time last year. Weird coming from a Minnesotan.

Tiggy said...

From spam to poop! Those two words are now intrinsically linked in my mind now.

Don said...

Spammers are only interested in your colon because they want to figure out just how much crap you can take before you crap on them.

Secondary Roads said...

Ya wanna poop like a race horse, ya godda eat like a race horse.
No thanks.
-- Chuck

Da Old Man said...

@ LL: Hope springs eternal

@ Chris: Thanks. I just put you on mine. BTW, your sub teacher story made me LOL. Been there, done that.

@ Dizzblnd: I'll put you on today. I think of poop and my blogroll all the time. Not necessarily linking them, just multi-tasking

@ Reforming: Never underestimate the power of suggestion.

@ Jen: I haven't had it in many years. I doubt I'll ever eat it again.

@ Tiggy: You're welcome

@ Don: That is as good an explanation as I ever heard

@ Secondary roads: Do horses like pizza?

Sandee said...

Well, when I first saw this post I thought you were going in for a colonoscopy. Bwahahahahaha. I was so wrong.

Have a terrific day Crotchety. :)

Shawn said...

Perhaps your ex is just concerned that you aren't as regular as you need to be. Seems possible.

You is on my bloggarolla, btw.

Judy said...

Ate a lot of Spam when I was a kid. My mom put a pineapple ring and little clove flowerettes on top--and then cooked it for awhile in the oven--pretending it was a ham I guess. I can't stand the stuff anymore.

FishHawk said...

Spammers use key words to target their offers. So, if you stopped talking so much...well...umm...stuff to people, maybe you wouldn't get so much spam about the subject (or the lack thereof, as it were).

Chaotically Calm said...

Odd the spam I get...to enlarge the schlong I don't have...are they trying to tell me something? Bye for now I must retire to the restroom for a second suddenly I have that urge.

Pricilla said...

I am with you there Old Man. My spam can't decide if I need to lose weight (I don't) need Viagra( uhm I am a girl goat) or want to buy a college degree (already have one.)
Not to mention if I want to meet any Russian girls (not really - I have my buck and I like him just fine.)
So far my spam has not decided to help my movements along. Perhaps it knows just how often a goat poops.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Yeah, being irregular is definitely a deal breaker for me.

By the way, you are on my blogroll and I am not on yours. Ah, unrequited love...

nonamedufus said...

Say could you forward some of those enema e-mails? I've got some Nigerian lottery winners who urgently want to contact me that I'd like to reply to. Oh, and, uh, maybe you could send me some of those other ones. Oh, excuse me - gotta see a man about a horse.

Da Old Man said...

@ Sandee: I had one a couple of years ago. It was one of the best days of my life.

@ Shawn: Could be. Most of my exes were very concerned about me, I guess.

@ Judy: I barely remember ever having it. My mom liked Underwood Deviled ham, so I'm guessing that's how we got our fill of canned pork products.

@ FishHawk: Could be. Mrs says I'm quite obsessed with certain odd things.

@ Chaotically: You are excused.

@ Pricilla: At least the spammers seem to care. Not a lot though.

@ Petra: Unrequited? Never. You are on my blogroll.
OK, I just did it. I am lazy, it should have been there long ago.

nonamedufus said...

Get any spam for memory pills? Sorry, you're on my blog roll...

Da Old Man said...

@ Nonamed: Catch you in about 20 minutes.

Grace said...

Well, you're on my blog roll but I'm not on yours. I wish I was funny...

Da Old Man said...

@ Grace: Of course you are. It's under your blog name "Broadway Matron."
It's been there for weeks.
:)

Phillipia said...

Most of the spam I get is for viagara...I pass it on to Phat Phil...

Lauren said...

HAHA! I've been thinking about writing a post about the silly and gross spam I get too. Good thing I have no issues with shit! LOL

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