Bonus post

I read a lot of blogs every day.

I guess somewhere between 80 and 100 or so. One I never miss is Shadow Crystal's.

http://internettreasuretrove.blogspot.com (eventually I'll learn how to imbed links)

Anyway, a few days ago, she had this incredibly fun thing on her blog, and because I'm so lame and technologically retarded-- I was amazed by it, and then stole it from her. I'm sure she won't mind. I hope youse all enjoy it as much as I do. (I'm so unoriginal, I even used the same color scheme--I so desperately want to be one of the cool kids)

< ------ It's over there. I can't figure out how to put it on the blog part.

I'm such a dork.

I could use a hand

Yesterday, my nephew suggested I get a dog or cat to keep me company during the day. Also, I'm sure I've read they help lower blood pressure, which would make me healthier, plus I would be inclined to walk it or play, and that would be good exercise.

I got to thinking about it, and I had a better idea. Dogs and cats are good companions, but to be honest a lot of work. They poop and eat, and don't do much more. Some make good guard dogs, but I'd want a Pappillon, and they don't exactly inspire fear in burglers and other no goodniks.



"Back off, Dude. I'm a badass"

So, I decided after much thought......

I want a helper monkey.



It would be great. She could help me dust, keep the house clean, and generally be helpful.

With my luck, though, I'm sure this is what would happen

I got a new haircut today

The Crotchety Old Lady has cut my hair the last few times. It's just easier than dealing with going out to get it done.

Her skills with the hair cutting equipment has improved, so I thought maybe I could have a new style. I currently have the same 'do I've had since second grade, so it's time.

I wanted a fauxhawk





so I'd be one happening old dude.

Sadly, nature and my Wahl combination shaver/haircutter/weedwhacker/blender produced something more like this:



Getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the alternative.

Bears gone wild

It's that time of the year again here in the NJ/Pa. area. Black bears start to wander around seeking food after a long winter's nap. Cubs are often nearby, and mama bear usually seeks food in dumpsters, and garbage cans. It's a quick, easy snack.

The normal procedure is to tranquilize the bear, and then relocate him or her. This leads to problems for the bear, but that is not the purpose of this posting. While watching the news, I saw something about bear traps that are set for these rogue bears.



Guess what bait is used?

If you said picnic baskets, you weren't very far off.

The bait of choice in some Pennsylvania towns is


jelly donuts.

The favored snack food of Pennsylvania cops is also the favorite of Pennsylvania bears. Who ever would have guessed?

I wonder if that's why, during the CB craze of many years ago, cops were known as bears.

How to eat at a buffet

Yeah, I know. I'm still cranked up about Atlantic City. I couldn't blog about everything, and rather than just give an uber-blog, I decided to break up all my crap into tiny segments. Easier to read, and who knows, maybe it will make sense.


First, what the hell happens to old people at a buffet?

I was behind these two codgers who had to be, now this is just an educated guess, somewhere between 127 and 140 years old each. They probably baby sat John McCain's parents. I'm talking freakin' old.

I'm no ageist, but for crying out loud, these codgers drive me crazy.

In the breakfast buffet, they must have spent 5 minutes deciding

1) if they actually wanted a slice of tomato for breakfast
2) which slice of tomato they wanted

Finally, after settling on a tomato slice, it was off to the cereal section.

Corn Flakes...no, put those back...Cheerios...Do we like Cheerios...put that back...get the Corn Flakes...ooooh, look, oatmeal...put the Corn Flakes back...oh wait, I'm not in the mood for oatmeal, go back and get the Corn Flakes...but Cheerios has more fiber...wow--they have mini bagels.

Do I even have to tell you how the great cream cheese vs butter vs jelly vs orange marmalade round robin debate went?

I swear, if they kept sharp knives there, I would have slashed my wrists and bled out right by the fresh cut melon.

Then we went back for dinner. Amazing what I'll go through to get a cheap steak for the Crotchety Old Lady.

We were seated near a table of old timers, and one habit I've gotten into is looking at how much people tip. My kid is in the restaurant industry, so I like to check out these things. That, plus I'm nosy.

Anyway, I've noticed at buffets, most people, especially the old codgers, either don't tip, or leave peanuts.

What's up with that? The ones next to me ran the server ragged. He brought them their drinks and refills, kept the table cleared from their multi-course meal, was helpful, and the 6 of them left a 6 dollar tip. Dinner was over 20 bucks each, and the big spenders left a buck each. WTF?

Maybe a dollar was a big tip back in 1952, but it's nothing today. After dining on steak, crab, shrimp and other gourmet items, how about throwing a brother a duece?

I'm Back

My mini vacation is over. Atlantic City is none the worse for wear.

Here's one of the pictures I risked my life for:


Video roulette is da best

It's just like you have been taken into the deep, seedy underbelly of legalized gambling.

Bet you feel dirty, now, too.

Ok, go take a shower, I'll wait.




Here's another, one of our many big wins at the slots.



You'll note we ran our 20 bucks all the way up to $36.60.

We were living la vida loca, baby.

Right after this the cocktail waitress came by and we ordered our drinks.

The Mrs. had a Mojito, and I had a Vodka martini--shaken, not stirred.

Ok, those were the most exotic drinks I could think of. She actually had a decaf coffee, no sugar, and I had a bottle of water. I suck as a party animal. After too many years of treating my body like an amusement park, I'm paying the price. I have gone from James Bondsesque adult beverages to Richard Simmons approved ones.

**sigh**

Greetings from Atlantic City

I got the Crotchety Old Lady up around 5:30 this morning ( I wonder how much this contributes to her Crotchetiness) and had her take some sunrise pictures from our window. I hope everyone likes them.





We are having a good time here. I think I understand part of the reason why Donald Trump is a billionaire, and I'm playing the penny slots.

I decided I wanted a water bottle. A cheap ass plastic water bottle. It says Taj Mahal on it, so, in essence, I would be advertising for Trump.

Guess how much it would have cost?

Come on, guess.

Nope, way more than that.

Give up?

Ok, it was $16.00. Sixteen freakin dollars. Dies y sies dolares.

For a freakin plastic water bottle.

I told the Old Lady I wouldn't pay $16 for a water bottle even if it were filled with Ivanka Trump's sweat.

OK, she thought that was disgusting, too.

Oh, and I took some pictures of the Harley that I wanted to win at the penny slot machine, and I was told I better put the camera away, or they would call security. I'm not going to post any pictures from inside the casino until I am safely home. Don't want anyone storming in here and impounding my camera, or roughing up the Crotchety Old Lady.

I'll try to take some more pictures. We forgot the extra batteries, and I didn't want to pay 12 bucks for 4 new AA batteries. Oy vey!

Be back later.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

In my mind



reality

Insurance Companies Suck

I wasn't sure what I was going to rant about today. Man's inhumanity to man has been done to death. Social injustice has become so passe.

Then, the phone rang. It was my doctor's office. My insurance company, Aetna, (motto, "We're going to get ya") does not want to pay my claims. Forget that I pay more than half my monthly income for crappy insurance that doesn't include scripts, they don't even want to pay for shit that should be covered.

I'm paying $650 per month for "coverage" that hardly includes anything.

By the way, anyone who ever thought "Disabled Person" was a good career choice, read that part again about $650 being more than half my monthly income. You may want to reconsider.

I'm not looking for something for nothing. I just want them to pay for what they had contracted.

My mother passed away over a year ago, and my sister is still fighting with insurance companies to pay her final medical bills. My mother was never sick a day in her life until her last year, so they had many years of scoffing up the premiums. Yet, when it became time for the insurance companies to pay up, they have become quite reticent, and slow. Heaven forbid if they weren't paid up front, but now, when it's time for them, they just drag their heels and put my sister through all kinds of nonsense.

When I became disabled, I put in a claim for my insurance (that I paid for) to pay my car payments for 1 year. They "lost" my doctor's forms so many times, I just stopped, and accepted that they weren't about to honor the agreement.

Bastards.

A Mind is a Terrible Thing Part 2

Those who know me well fully understand that my mind works in a weird way.

Things set me off that don't even register for the normal person. The truly wacky part is I am drawn to things that I know are going to set me off.

One thing that can, and often does really get me depressed is certain TV shows. I truly have a love-hate relationship with my TV. One program in particular causes me to become either depressed or enraged, and oftentimes both. It can set me into the deepest realm of the most dark green-black chasms of despair, with suicidal tendencies. I become overwhelmed with self-loathing, the likes of which few men have ever cast upon themselves. Other times, it can make me white hot with fury, the kind few men have endured.

What show can do this? Which one can inspire such negative emotions within me?

By now, most have probably guessed the answer. No show puts me on such a negative emotional roller coaster as Antiques Roadshow.

Something about it just pisses me off, yet like a 15 car pile-up on the interstate, I have to watch. I try to convince myself that this episode will be different. This time I will learn about antiques and a bit of history, and not delve into the deep morass that is the blackness in the hole in my soul.

But no, once again those bastards at PBS, one of whom is surely the Antichrist, compels me to watch and destroy my inner self.

**sigh**



Santa gets an appraisal

A Mind is a Terrible Thing

Sometimes my mind takes me places I'd rather not go.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with one all consuming thought--what happened to my Motorific cars from when I was just a crotchety little kid? I never would have thrown them out, and I know I never gave them away. I also had this cool little Martian flying saucer that kind of sat on a stand and whirrled away. It kept me busy for hours. It didn't do much, but I was a pretty boring kid, so it didn't take a lot to amuse me. Where is it?

Then I started thinking about everything from my childhood. It is all gone, more or less. Where did it go?

Was there a giant garage sale that I didn't know about? Is there an orphanage somewhere with piles of my old stuff, and some little orphan kid wondering why in God's name he has an Al Kaline bat, when all the other kids have Al Pujols models? And, by the way, who the hell is Al Kaline?

These are the things that keep me up at night. I sit in the dark at 3 a.m. and ponder.

Go Figure

The guy who cleans up our yard came by today. The Crotchety Old Lady pointed out that he's always so nice and pleasant. I told her that I would be nice to someone who was paying me $100 cash for an hour's work, too.

Life is interesting with her.

I'll be heading down to Atlantic City next week, so I'm looking forward to that. I want her to buy a new camera, so we can take some pictures, and blog from AC. We'll be at the Taj Mahal which has become our favorite casino. We used to go to the Showboat, which is right next door, but they have gotten a bit annoying.

I had a ticket for a free giveaway of some crap. I asked her to go get it. But noooooo, they had to have me there. Because I guess there were a lot of people stealing driver's licenses and going to AC to pick up some cheesy gift. Yeah, that's the current big money scam. Funny part is everything at the Showboat involves going through some sort of maze. It's ok for walking, but when one is riding, well, that becomes a whole 'nother game. I usually wind up crashing into walls, or knocking over displays. Handicapped accessible, my ass. Trump's Taj is much more friendly, although--travel tip for the disabled here--Showboat has better bathrooms.

I'm coming for your cash, Donald.



He appears upset and concerned.

Vote for Me for President

I am so disgusted with the candidates that the only option I have is to run myself. I am hoping for a massive write-in vote obviously, as I have no campaign organization except for the Crotchety Old Lady and the Crotchety Kid. To be honest, I'm not even sure I have their votes. I also have no money to pay a staff. So, I am relying on both of my regular readers to help spread the word. If each of you can get me just 2 votes, and each of those 2 get me just 2 votes, and so on, I'll have billions and billions of voters in under a month. Do the math, my calculator exploded at the 24 day mark.

I've been working on my platform. I will address the issues people really care about.

Ok, I only have one campaign promise, but I think it will solve nearly every problem we face as Americans today.

No left hand turns.

Left turns are the bane of American drivers. Just last night, I was out driving a very short distance, and had at least 3 near impact incidents with drivers making left hand turns. Such incidents are the cause of road rage, and that rage turns into stress, which everyone knows causes illness such as high blood pressure, which leads to heart attacks and every other illness known to man such as colds and flu.
All because of left hand turns. So I have helped solve the health care crisis.

And, of course, who hasn't been stuck for seemingly hours behind a driver trying to make a left hand turn? Our gas shortage and the resulting high prices, has been caused by Hummers making left hand turns.
No more gas crunch.

With no left turns, no need for a left turn bulb in your car, reducing waste that is filling up our landfills.
Garbage problem solved.

And lastly, it will eliminate that old guy driving down the interstate for 50 miles with his left turn signal on, reducing light pollution.

Vote for me,and I promise:

Just Killing Electrons

Today, I have no particular point to this post, so I'm just going to slaughter innocent eletrons for our amusement.

OK, mainly for mine.

The worst part about not having a job is not being able to take a day off. I had a bad night last night, only getting about 2 hours sleep. So, after getting up this morning, I had no one to let know that I'm going back to bed. Instead of my usual day of hanging around the house and doing nothing, I'll be hanging around and doing nothing.



I'll spend my day preparing to go to the doctor tonight. It takes me about an hour to get ready, but I spend considerable time thinking about it. This is the monthly podiatrist visit. He whacks at my wounds with a scalpel, turning my foot into little more than a bleeding stump. It only hurts a little while he is doing it, but tomorrow it will hurt like hell. I'll be kind and not post a picture of my foot, but if anyone truly wants to see it, I posted a picture of it on my Diabetes blog a few days ago. It's disgusting.

You were warned.

It's Fleet Week

The annual U.S. Navy invasion known as Fleet Week opens here on Wednesday with a flotilla of five American warships and three Canadian entries to add an international flavor to the 21st annual observance.

Some 3,000 sailors and Marines will disembark from the ships during the eight-day event that includes public tours and a variety of aerial and simulated combat technique demonstrations by Marine Corps units.

A decade ago, as many as a dozen ships from several nations took part in Fleet Week, but the size of the assemblage has diminished in recent years. The last time it included a full-size aircraft carrier was in 2005, when the USS John F. Kennedy made its final appearance before being retired.

New York City policy bars nuclear-powered craft from the harbor, effectively denying port calls by the Navy's newer fleet carriers.

From today's Newday.com

Fleet Week is a pretty big deal here in the NY area. Lots of media coverage, and many folks go out of their way to thank the sailors and marines who defend our country.

And Fleet Week is the Crotchety Old Lady's favorite holiday week. She's always had a thing for sailors. Must be something about a man in uniform. Don't know why she's with me. Most days I don't even wear pants.

In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)

The art of parody

Performers like Frank Caliendo make their living with parody. His spoofing of John Madden, President Bush, and countless others have made him well known and wealthy.

Good parody doesn't have to be mean spirited to be funny. It's a shame that so many think it has to be.

I have a good friend who is an acclaimed artist. Her name is Artistic --not her real name, (I think) and she gave me permission to share one of her most famous works. This has won some prestigious awards in different shows. It is done in pencil, and it's hard to believe it's not the actual famous photograph of the San Francisco Earthquake of 1906.



My friend Rubba (that may be his real name) also is an artist. He is a master modelmaker, and his model cars command big money. As a joke, he did a parody of Artistic's painting. It so captured the essence of a good parody, I thought it deserved to be shared, too.



I can't look at it without laughing. And Artistic laughed the loudest when she first saw it.

Parody at it's finest.

TV Show Cars part 1

One of the things that has been missing from TV shows for quite some times is the custom cars that were a part of so many shows, especially during the 1960's. I've made a list of these, and wanted to share the top 10.

Today, I'll post the 3 greatest TV Show cars ever.

My all-time favorite is the Batmobile.

In late 1965, George Barris, one of the greatest custom car builders ever, built a steel Batmobile on a frame from a 1955 Lincoln. The car was similar to that of the comic book. By late 1966, Barris built 3 more fiberglass copies of the original Batmobile.

While the original used the frame from the 1955 Lincoln Futura Concept car (a one of a kind) the copies used 1965-1966 Ford Galaxy frames.



My next favorite is the Monkeemobile.

The car, designed by Dean Jeffries, was based on a 1966 Pontiac GTO. He made 2 of these cars for the TV show, "The Monkees." One was used for promotional appearances, while the other was used and driven in the show. The car used in the show had a functioning supercharger, and produced so much torque that it could do wheelstands. They eventually replaced it with a fake blower because the car was too powerful and very difficult to drive.



My 3rd favorite car is the Munstermobile. The technical name was the Munster Koach, but everyone commonly called it the Munstermobile.

Built by the incomparable Geoge Barris, the Munster Koach was made from 3 Model Ts, and was powered by a 289 Cobra engine bored out to 425 cubic inches. It had 10 carbs. I couldn't find any other specs on it, but I'm sure the car had some go power.

Rumor has it that one at least one occasion, Fred Gwynne "borrowed" the car, and drove around Hollywood with the cast.

It's Always About the Benjamins

According to Washingtonpost.com

Hepatitus C Outbreak In Nevada

It was the re-use of syringes and vials containing medicine that caused a hepatitis C outbreak resulting in 84 patients becoming infected at two Las Vegas clinics, theAssociated Pressreports.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was first contacted early in 2008 after two people had come down with hepatitis C, the wire service reports. CDC investigators said in their report they observed clinic employees reusing syringes to administer a sedative, and followup interviews indicated it was a common practice, the wires service reported. "This was considered the most likely mode of transmission," the report concluded.

The two clinics in question, the Endoscopy Center of Southern Nevada and the Desert Shadow Endoscopy Center -- both now shut down -- treated about 50,000 patients over this amount of time, theA.P.said. Law enforcement officials from Las Vegas, Nevada and the U.S. government are pursing criminal investigations, according to the wire service.

The doctors who ran the clinics, Dipak Desai and Eladio Carrera, have had their medical licenses suspended and paid a $50,000 fine, theA.P.reported.

Brian Labus, a senior epidemiologist with the Southern Nevada Health District, told the A.P.that the link between being treated at the clinics and contracting Hepatitis C was strong. "We know they [the 84 patients] didn't have a positive test before they went to the clinic, and now they're positive," he said.

State officials are worried that all 50,000 patients who were treated at the clinics between March, 2004 and Jan. 11, 2008 may have been exposed to Hepatitis C, which can linger in a person's system for years without symptoms. The disease can result in liver failure.

Unbelievable. These two doctors have put the health of as many as 50,000 people at risk just to save a few dollars on each one, and they get a relatively small fine in addition to losing their license to practice medicine. Big deal. Who knows how much money they pocketed by re-using syringes, and how much this is going to cost the state as these poor unfortunate victims start experiencing health problems.

What kind of sweetheart deal is this? They should lose every dime they made in the timeframe, and do some jail time. I'm sure the jail can use some "volunteer" assistants to the doctor for the next few years.

I humbly apologize

According to the Telegraph (www.telegraph.co.uk)

As if they didn’t already have enough problems on their hands fat people are now being blamed for global warming.
British scientists say they use up more fuel to transport them around and the amount of food they eat requires more energy to produce than that consumed by those on smaller diets.

According to a team at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine this adds to food shortages and higher energy prices.

Researchers Phil Edwards said: “We are all becoming heavier and it is a global responsibility. Obesity is a key part of the big picture."

It's not bad enough I'm a fat bastard, with the weight of the world on my shoulders, I am a weight on the world.

I'm working on it, though. Slowly. Maybe too slowly. But I am now so guilt ridden, I am inspired to do more to get in shape. Not for me or my children, but for yours.
And the polar bears.



The Bush administration is considering putting the polar bear on the endangered list, but oil drilling in Alaska would be impacted, so basically, for now, it's "F the polar bears."

So, I'm sticking up for the polar bears by giving up fried Twinkies. Sounds like a fair trade off. Win-win. Except for the company that makes Twinkies, of course.

Now I'm off to do something about those greenhouse gases.

I had nothing to do with them.

I swear.

Ok, maybe a little.



Pull my finger

California Supreme Court Says Gays have the Right to Marry

"The California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples," the court said in a 121-page decision that gives gays unprecedented rights.

For today, I'm turning into the Philosophical Old Man. Seems I'm doing a lot of that lately. Both of my regular readers have probably noticed my blog is as much my philosophical search for answers as it is my delivering the answers to everything else.

This is not a sign that I have mellowed, for those who know me are well aware that I can turn into a ranting, raving, spittle spewing a-hole in much less time than it took to read this sentence. I am maturing, though. Never confuse the two. Maturity is the ever increasing recognition of the human condition, and our place in this vast framework known as the world. Mellowing means we just don't care. I'll probably never be mellow.

Back to today's topic. I truly do not understand all the aspects of it from the gay perspective, and would welcome any comments to help me understand. And I do not want to, nor have any intenton of addressing the issue as to whether being gay is a choice, nature, or anything else. I also won't discuss the religious aspects of gay activities because it is between the individuals involved and God. Last I checked, I marked answer "C. None of the above."

Here is my understanding of the marriage issue. I only understand the objections, to be honest. Civil unions are legal in many states. I know they are in mine. These give every right to gay individuals except the right to marry. They appear to be, to me, the same as a marriage. What is the big deal? Marriage usually has religious overtones, and, as such, is considered to be between a man and a woman, at least within the realms of all the religions of which I am familiar. I don't believe such a provision (civil unions) lessens anyone in any way.

Please, I welcome any comments to help explain why this way of thinking should be changed.