Thursday, February 26, 2009

MMMM, Chocolate Covered Boobs

A few months ago, Cabal leader Chelle, and some other members of Humorbloggersdotcom suggested that I install Google Analytics. A lot of reasons, such as I would be able to learn, I don't know, stuff. Plus it would be interesting to find out how some of my readers discover my blog. Since my goal in life, well at least since I decided to make it os for the last few weeks, has been to become the world's greatest living blogger.

So now, I have a new way to waste time become more useful to my fellow blogger. I spent some time today looking at the search terms used to find my blog, so maybe I can write material more appropriate to my readership base.

Ok, the first term I uncovered was chocolate covered boobs. While that sounds like it would be one of my interests, I don't remember ever blogging about it, erm, them. Photobucket

Another search term was Oprah's vajayjay. Ok, I understand that as this blog is the "go to" source for up to the minute news about Oprah's vajayjay. And I do promise to continue to provide this service.

"Oldman swinging" I have no idea what they expected to find, but I may have just thrown up in my mouth a little.

"Making of fluffer" Photobucket

Really now, when did I become the meeting place for Perverts Anonymous?

There is more, but do we really want to know why "High Hefner" or "Hot buttered Sex" brought them here?


http://www.humorbloggers.com/

30 comments:

Adullamite said...

I thought you were already rightly known as the worlds 'greatest living blogger?'

Chaotically Calm said...

Obviously Crotchety Old Man Yells at Cars is some kind of pseudo name for covert undercover frisky behavior....I am so out of touch!

Michelle said...

OLD MAN SWINGING!!!

That is not at all like Dead man walking!!

I know that you know what OLD MAN SWINGING means right????

Happy Thursday!!!

Mike said...

That chocolate covered boobs thing was me.

Sorry old man.

ReformingGeek said...

I'm sure they meant "Old Man Singing".

Joel Klebanoff said...

That's nothing. According to Google Analytics, the top three search terms that found me were:

1. thickest penis
2. world's thickest penis
3. worlds thickest penis

I'm not joking about that -- or bragging. If you go further down the list you'll also find "thickest penis in the world", "world's longest penis" and "world's longest penis". Those search terms resulted from a couple of my posts satirizing some of the spam I've received and then another post joking about some of the search traffic that generated.

Now that I've posted this comment you'll probably see some of that traffic coming your way.

Kirsten said...

Don't act like perverts aren't you're strongest fan base!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Well, between you and Don I learn a lot of useless stuff. That's why I show up everyday. Bwahahahahaha. I'm busy right now reading Joel's comment. I think I'm going to search for those.

Have a terrific day Crotchety. Best regards to Mrs. Crotchety. :)

HawaiianPun said...

I was eternally scarred to find out that a few of the search terms bringing people to my site were "vagina kisser," "explosive diarrhea," and "shaggy and freddy sex" (after I did a post about Scooby Doo).

Yikes. Who knew the internet was full of weirdos?

Da Old Man said...

@ Adullamite: I agree with that, but the rest of the world doesn't.

@ Chaotically: If only :(

@ Michelle: I'm pretty sure I do.
:)

@ Mike: That explains a lot

@ Reforming: The Google is (almost) never wrong

@ Joel: Uhhmm, thanks?

@ Kirsten: They probably are. I'm a niche blogger, now.

@ Sandee: Don't use Google Images. Well, maybe you should.

@ Hawaiian: The internet keeps weirdos off the street, I guess.

Don said...

Hot Buttered Sex is you all over. Can't you see it? I'll bet the Mrs. does. In fact, I'll bet she's the one that used that phrase!

Lauren said...

AWESOME. I am ROFL. The fluffer one comes from posting my story. WOOT! :D

Jen said...

Mine come looking for:

Fire Crotch

Redhead vagina

Redhead on redhead

and a whole bunch I can't even say because they are so dirty, funny but a bit creepy too.

I get a lot for Oprah's Vagina too.

Jormengrund said...

Isn't the internet just wonderful?

Now, not only do you know that you've got readers, but you also know just how sick and depraved each and every single one of us is!


Welcome to the family.. *tear*

nonamedufus said...

I don't know, I tried hot buttered sex once but it took me days to clean the popcorn out of my underwear.

~*~Shadow.Crystal~*~ said...

BAhahahaha.... I love Google Analytics. Unfortunately, my more popular search terms revolve around yeast infections (thanks to the mini-rant I did about that stupid Monistat commercial) or getting dogs high. I think the most disturbing/upsetting search term was "blow smoke in puppies face seizure"... makes me really glad I posted about the harms of getting pets high.

Sandi said...

chocolate covered boobs? haha That's great.

moooooog35 said...

My results today:

"penis goes up"

Um..this is a surprise to you? Mine goes up all the time. It's up right now.

On a related note:

I really like this blog.

"name those tits game"

I'm guessing that this is the best. game. ever.

"eating from ass"

It's the 'from' that gets me here.

Seriously - just run the goddamn dishwasher if you're out of plates.

PaulsHealthBlog.com said...

You are what you are. Just go with the flow. Don't try to hide it!

Paul

Eat Well. Live Well.
PurpleGreenPops.com

Da Old Man said...

@ Don: She may be the one

@ Lauren: I forgot about that. LOL

@ Jen: It's amazing, isn't it?

@ Jormen: I knew they (youse) were kind of perverse.

@ Nonamed: I hate when that happens

@ Shadow: I never knew what I was missing. Just one more thing to waste time on, too.

@ Sandi: It just amazes me what searches are done

@ Mooog: You get some erm, "interesting" searches, don't you? :)

@ Paul: I hide almostnothing.

kalos_eidos said...

I really need to stop neglecting my blogs. The best one I have was someone searching for "grandma's garters". Probably some swinging old man...

Trukindog said...

I read the title then got as far a Chelle, now all I can think about is that gorgeous blonde Nazi bondage porn queen pouring chocolate syrup on herself in her survival bunker and....umm I gotta go now.

The Hussy Housewife said...

OH you PERVE!

Wait that was my goolges.

ettarose said...

I must be the dumbest ass of all because I have never looked to see what searches were done to get to my site. I don't think I get any Google traffic. Now I am sad. :(

TheDamnNation said...

Hahahaha That's hilarious. I'm a pervert and I have found my way to your blog. Point proven.

The Great Fox Hating Potentate said...

I'm new here, but I can't see the type of person who'd do a google search for chocolate covered boobs being a bad type of reader to have.

Clearly they're practical, very specific in their entertainment/sex parts/confection needs, and if someone with tastes that refined happens to find you...well, clearly you're doing something right.

:D

Cheers,
Julian

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Redtube

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