Friday, June 13, 2008

Looking for Love

Did you ever do something goofy for no apparent good reason?

Before I start, let me enlighten everyone about my day. I get up about 6 a.m. Sometime between then and 9 a.m. I go to the bathroom to wash up and do normal morning stuff. I go to bed around 1 a.m.

That's pretty much my day. So, I have a lot of time to fill. I have some ambulatory problems, so, for all intents and purposes, I sit on my couch 23 hours a day.

I try to do productive things like write a few blogs, and I read a lot of blogs. This is pretty helpful, for two reasons, first, I learn valuable things that I usually forget 2 minutes after I read them, and second. Heck, I forgot the other thing. I'm sure I'll remember around midnight.

Back to the topic at hand.

To fill my time, I like to occasionally click on ads on blogs if I see something I may be interested in. Those clicks that you never expected, they were from me. You're welcome. Consider the 11 cents a gift from me to you.

Last week, I saw one for a dating site. Now, remember, I am in a wonderful relationship with the Crotchety Old Lady. She takes good care of me, Photobucket

and puts up with all my daily nonsense. So, I'm not looking, but I am curious as to how these things work. I know eharmony and those places must be legit, because they have been around forever, advertise on TV, and all that. But I question "Meet singles in your area" ones.

So I decided to almost sign up. I was going to go as far as possible without giving any personal info or money. That way I knew nothing was going to actually happen.

I put in the following information:

Me: 90, ugly, in poor health, very low income, not willing to travel more than 10 miles
Seeking: Beautiful, 18-35, college educated, $100,000 per year, never married, not interested in kids, red hair, Asian, or Caucasian (I had to be flexible.)

How many woman do you think the site claims it has that meets my criteria?

5? 3? None?

Nope. Not even close. They claim to have 737 women in their data base that meet my ridiculously crazy "standards."

What I described


But why do I think I'd wind up with


Disclaimer: No women were harmed in the making of this blog post.


Rubba said...


I thought T V stood fo' Toaster Visionary. . .lol

Rubba said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julya Lim said...

Oh no! LOL!

Da Old Man said...

@ Rubba-- LMAO
How did you know toast was so important to me?

GumbyTheCat said...

Great. Now after seeing that second photograph I have to poke out my eyes with a red-hot soldering iron.

cathouse teri said...

Pretty hilarious!

I'm glad we have people like you to find stuff like this for us. It's a dirty job... but someone's gotta do it, right? :)

dani said...

ha ha ha thats too funny

Claire said...

Your a naughty old man :)

JD from Hoeno said...

I have no idea what to say about this but I had to at least tell you that it made me laugh.

Bradley said...

No! No! No! Now I wont be able to sleep tonight. How can you possibly do that to us? You are evil.

Da Old Man said...

Glad everyone enjoyed the post. :)

Atlas said...

You made me throw up a little, there.

Point well made!

shyne said...

LOL.....a GOOD one!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

That's awesome! And funny!

Jillian said...

Haha, I think you're right to remain skeptical.

Lucy said...

737 women want someone over 90 within 10 miles of themselves? Maybe they're hoping they live near Hugh Hefner and he'll happen upon their profile.