Sunday, August 24, 2008

Feeling Squirrelly

A few days ago, my http://www.humorbloggers.com/ buddy, Jenn, warned everyone about the terrifying black behometh panther squirrels of Toronto.

http://cabbages-n-kings.blogspot.com/2008/08/fanged-behemoth-panthers-of-toronto.html

I was duly afraid, but the Crotchety Old Lady and I have been dealing with vicious NJ squirrels for quite a few years. I’ll get back to her battles with NJ’s version of Sciurus carolinensis (yeah, I looked it up) in a while, but in the meantime, my friend Freddy from http://www.nedthetoothpick.com/ has a squirrel living in his back yard named Zippy.

New Jersey squirrels may not appear as vicious as their Canadian cousins, but they are tough. Lotsa tough. Here is a rare photo of one of the dreaded “Hoodlum Squirrels of NJ.”

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These squirrels have alleged ties to organized crime, and are skilled in the use of weapons.

Seriously.

The Crotchety Old Lady has complained more than once that these criminal rodents toss their nuts in her direction.

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No, stop that

These

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Squirrel WMD --Weapon of Minor Destruction

My greatest fear, obviously, is if these Toronto squirrels ever cross paths with NJ ones. Will it be a scene out of the Godfather, as the NJ squirrel strangles a Toronto one and then hides the body in the Meadowlands, or more a dance off ala West Side Story?

What really strikes fear in our collective hearts would be if the Toronto squirrels make a love connection with the NJ ones. Imagine the kids:

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We keep our nuts at:

http://www.humorbloggers.com/

31 comments:

Don Lewis said...

I just knew you'd end up getting squirrelly.

Da Old Man said...

@ Don: I prety much started out that way, Don.

FishHawk said...

Is it true that Jersey squirrels ride around the waterfront in Bayonne on the backs of sewer rats??? I don't remember if there was any mention of having saddles or not, but I suppose I wouldn't put it past them.

shyne said...

LOL!!!!!!

Da Old Man said...

@ fishhawk: The don't need no stinkin'saddles. They are tough.

@ Shyne: Glad you liked it.

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

LOL..This is a great.

JD from Hoeno said...

You know, Big Pussy from the Sopranos was originally going to be called Big Squirelly but for some reason the writers thought Big Pussy was better. Go figure.

Lauren said...

OMG too funny. LMAO!

Chat Blanc said...

squirrels are evil! that's probably why I kinda love/hate them. they're bad asses.

Don said...

This is great stuff. Funny as hell, and I especially love that second pic. G-rated all the way baby!

Da Old Man said...

@ Pleasing: Glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by.

@ Jd: Yeah, the squirrels got to the writers.

@ lauren: Thanks

@ Chat: They are bad, bad to the bone.

@ Don: Thanks. Yeah, I'm born to be mild. :)

OutsideMyBrain said...

@Da Old Man: Great post! I didn't know you were so nuts about squirrels. Thanks for the laugh. Have a great day.

Dr. Rob said...

I'm nuts over the squirrel pics. Nice job.

Da Old Man said...

@ Outside: Thanks, you too.

@ Dr. Rob: Thanks. I was feeling kinda nutty.

PlantBuddy said...

You got them squirrels pegged pretty good there Crotchety. Great photos. Don't forget--Irish Spring Soap. I tried it on my eggplant and so far no little visitors have visited.

Jay said...

Whatever it is you're on, I want some.

LOL!

Da Old Man said...

@ plantbuddy: I've told her to get the soap. I think she likes fighting with the squirrels.

@ jay: You get this way from years of living among the weirdness that is NJ.

michiganderlady said...

How can anyone NOT love Zippy??

Zippy rocks!! :)

Da Old Man said...

@ Michiganderlady: Zippy is a star

Lipstick said...

Found you through Flower Girl. You are hilarious!!!

Da Old Man said...

@ Lipstick: Thank you.

FlowerGirl said...

Squirrels are crafty.... You have to watch them. My parents have mean ass albino squirrels guarding their house. You think gangsta squirrels are bad; check out squirrels that have no cover! Fang showin', pink eyed FREAKS! If I can find a pic, I'll put it on my blog...

Da Old Man said...

@ Flowergirl: Albino Squirrels would probably have serious anger issues.

The Natural State Hawg said...

And to think, I actually felt bad for a squirrel when one of my cats got ahold of it. Maybe the cat knew more than she was letting on...

Visit The Natural State Hawg!

Da Old Man said...

@ The Hawg: The cat had the right idea. Mrs. Crotchety wanted me to get a BB gun to "teach those squirrels a lesson."

WorldmedTourism said...

that is truly
http://worldmedtourism.blogspot.com/

Jenn Thorson said...

Ah, the tough streets of New Jersey where the squirrels are armed are armed and the residents are afraid...

I remember it well. :p

Da Old Man said...

@ Jenn: Very afraid.

Stephany said...

ha! I have a squirrel I named Diablo because it is Satan himself running down fir trees screeching at me and attempting to own my backyard.

Da Old Man said...

@ Stephany: Keep fighting the good fight. Diablo, perfect namke for a squirrel.

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