Monday, May 11, 2009

Paranoid? Who? Me?

I was interviewed by Loud Noises, Big Plans and featured by Don both on the same day, Mother's Day, which makes me question my gender identity, and also whether I have days to live or something like that.

I checked, and the Crotchety Old Lady or the Spawn haven't taken out any new life insurance policies, and I'm no more messed up than usual. I also checked and I still have manly naughty bits, so it's not that. So, who knows what they are up to? They probably ran out of everyone else.

And speaking of running out of everyone else, while watching the golf tournament this afternoon, the announcers are really struggling with Tiger Woods acting so human. Instead of fawning over him, they try to talk about other stuff. And boy, do they get in trouble when they try to talk and think.

It was mentioned that one golfer is married to his wife. As oppossed to?

And that brings up another weird golf thing. It must be absolutely quiet as the player gets ready to hit his shot. What a bunch of babies. It's not like the ball is moving, like baseball, where a 100 MPH ball is zipping towards a hitter, or football, where a 300 lb lineman is running to seperate the ball from the runner. Both of these take place in front of 50,000 screaming fans.

When the golfer finally strikes the ball, the gallery starts chanting "Get in the hole," or something similar as that must help. Photobucket

Have a happy Monday

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19 comments:

SpeakDog said...

Didn't Mark Twain say, "Golf is a good walk spoiled"? Or something like that, anyway...

And, yeah... why DOES it have to be so quiet? Those babies should toughen up.

Lauren said...

Never thought about golf like that before...so true about being quiet...is pretty darn stupid. Boys!

Don said...

Well you're just one popular guy aren't you? Ahh, I'm sure that my feature and the interview were worth the effort. How many peeps get that kind of attention unless you're O.J. or Drew Peterson...

Joanie M said...

You were watching golf on TV? YAWN!! I was married to a golfer. I had to watch golf on TV every weekend. Glad I got over that!

ReformingGeek said...

I guess people will cheer at anything. While watching baseball, I shout at the ball to "get outta there" when it's in the air out in center field. This is only if it's hit by my team of course!

Adullamite said...

Commentators talking and thinking! What a thought. We have 'ColemanBalls' Books here. They feature comments made by Commentators (and others) in such circumstances. They have been a top seller for twenty years. Always god stuff.

Jenn Thorson said...

Just watch Happy Gilmore a couple of times and you'll get your fill of audience participation during golf. :) Or Caddyshack.

Be the ball, Danny.
Be the ball.

Da Old Man said...

@ SpeakDog: It's not like the ball is even moving. Bunch of wimps.

@ Lauren: It really is. Guess golf is so elitist.

@ Don: I know, and I've been felony free.

@ Joanie: The Mrs is the one who got me into watching it. I'll watch football or baseball first, but it is good between innings.

@ Reforming: Baseball and football are made for yelling. Can't watch it quietly at home alone, how could I be at the field and stay quiet?

@ Adullamite: Commentors just feel the need to fill the air with drivel. Sometimes, the game is more than enough.

@ Jenn: I've watched them both many times. Caddyshack quotes show up constantly in most real life situations.

Grace said...

I always get annoyed when someone says "I am married to my husband/wife.." Well, duh, yeah...(If you ever watch Wheel of Fortune, you will hear this every night)

ettarose said...

Golf is the most boring sport ever. You know I love you old man or I would not say this, but if you watch golf on tv then you deserve to hear the inane drivel that goes with it. Just sayin.

Pricilla said...

I thought golfers were married to their balls....

FishHawk said...

It is obvious that you and your readers are not sophisticated enough to appreciate golf. For it is a gentleman's game that is meant to played and observed by gentlemen, and gentlemen always conduct themselves in a genteel manner. That is, unless the game is being played by women, and then anything goes. After all, if they would just remain in the kitchen, they would not be in a position to be heckled by anyone except their husbands, who would never ever do so unless it was absolutely necessary to maintain their sweetness.

Lin said...

That whole watching golf thing escapes me. Why are they whispering? Why did those people pay money to walk along and watch someone else play golf? My husband's family does that --and I think it's weird. Really weird. I like to take a nap on the couch when he's watching golf--it is full of quiet announcers.

Da Old Man said...

@ Grace: I never noticed on Wheel. I'm going to start to pay attention. But at least they are nervous amateurs.

@ Etta: I only watch it because the Old Lady wants to get updates.

@ Pricilla: Oh no!

@ FishHawk: I won't go there

@ Lin: I only watch golf if there is no baseball, or football. Worse, ESPN had darts on this weekend.

Anonymous said...

I love golf...thank you for watching...

Phillipia said...

Yeah, I never got the quiet part - of course I really never got any part of golf; but it is the same at a track meet: "quiet at the start" - what? - they might not hear the gun go off ten feet from their face...the cops three blocks away hear it and send three cruisers (4 on a really slow day)...

Marie said...

Wait...gender identity?!?! What blog have they been reading, anyway!?!?

FishHawk said...

Chicken.

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