Monday, May 04, 2009

Zombie Apocalypse Confirmed by Government

Not only has the US Government confirmed it, but the Mexican Government corroborates the information.

Here is the proof.

It was announced last week, that 150 had died from the Swine/Avian/H1N1 Flu.

Yesterday, it was announced that the number was around 20. That means that over 100 victims are now undead.

And, of course, undead=
Photobucket
Holy crap! Zombies
My blogging buddies Quirky and Jenn have been warning of this for months, and now, it looks like the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us.

But today is your lucky day...well, as lucky as one can be during the Zombie Apocalypse.

For a limited time, Crotchety Old Man World Wide will be selling everything you need to defend yourself amd your loved ones during these trying times.

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Cricket bats in designer colors

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Flamethrowers

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Or, for the ultimate in Zombie protection

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Choose wisely.

And aim for the head.


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214 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 214   Newer›   Newest»
SpeakDog said...

Zombies seem to be the theme today. My latest post is about zombies, but they work for the government.

Either way... aim for the head.

Winky Twinky said...

OMG!!! Hello Kitty!!! Okay, breathe...I KNOW I need more than that...(oxygen)...okay...I'll take Chuck Norris!!! But Hey!, ONLY if it's a full package deal...otherwise me, Hello Kitty, and the flame thrower will do JUUUST fiiinnnne...... Thanks DOM for always looking out for all of us.....

Quirkyloon said...

I'm so glad you mentioned that you have to kill them in the head.

Seems more and more people are forgetting that.

(BTW, thanks for the link love *smile*)

Mary said...

I take Chuck!

ettarose said...

Maybe you had better ask Chelle if you can hawk her gun like that, and you can call me a woon tang but I personally don't like chuckie baby. Besides I made my blog zombie proof.

Adullamite said...

Was that picture taken in Mexico or Glasgow?

Husbands Anonymous said...

And remember never to drink from their footprints. Or is that werewolves? Hmm, furry or undead? Tough choice.

Hindleyite said...

Oh yeah, I can bring a golf club along.

I hope those cricket bats have been knocked in (joke for all cricketers out there, everyone else will have no clue)

dizzblnd said...

Thank goodness you are here to help protect us of the foretold impending doom! Maybe NOW someone will take The Loony One and Jenn seriously!


How much for the full defense package?

Lauren said...

I want the pink one and I already know my target. LMAO!

Jenn Thorson said...

Nicely done, Crotchety-- and good on you to spread the word about the zombie cover-up and infiltration!

DouglasDyer said...

If you're at a casting call for the role of "zombie", you can go ahead and stop wondering why your Saturdays are spent alone watching wrestling reruns.

Don said...

I remember a little thing during VNam called a Zippo raid. The flamethrower will do nicely... I'll take two.

ReformingGeek said...

1 Jack Bauer and 2 Daniel Craig's please.

Oh, wait. Those weren't options?

Sheesh!

Stacie's Madness said...

ooohhhh, I'll take a Chuck. Can you express him to me?

Da Old Man said...

@ SpeakDog: Always aim for the head. And zombies are slowly taking over the internet.

@ Winky: Chuck is the greatest hope we have.

@ Quirky: I know. It can't be mentoned enough as I'm sure during a zombie attack, some folks will forget.

@ Mary: No way! Chuck is the baddest mofo on the planet.

@ Etta: Another non believer in the awesomeness of Chuck. That's ok, he'll save you anyway because he is just that awesome.

@ Adullamite: The Zombies were vacationing in Glasgow, I believe.

@ Husbads: Werewolves. Though I wouldn't drink from zombie footprints either

@ Hindleyite: Bring the club along, just in case.

@ Dizz: Chuck is the full package.

@ Lauren: Done!

@ Jenn: Investigative reporting is my new passion. I'm like Geraldo Rivera

@ Douglas: I already know why my Saturdays are spent alone.
:(
It's not easy being me.

@ Don: I've heard stories.

@ Reforming: As much as I like Jack, Chuck is our best defense in the Zombie Apocalypse

@ Stacie: Chuck has already been there.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. I figured we'd get around to this. Bwahahahahaha. I'll take that little pink number.

Have a terrific day Crotchety. :)

Haley said...

If one turns into a zombie - would they still be married to their human partner? I mean - the vows are till death do you part - right? Technically though you are the un-dead so how does that work? That would put a major cramp in brain eating if one has to keep answering to a spouse. And if they are turned - are you married forever? One might want to eat his or her own brain thinking about that one. Lastly, is there any eternal damnation for taking one's own zombie life?

FishHawk said...

After I submit this comment, I will wrap myself in bubble-wrap and wait for the end to come. For I have called out to Chuck Norris in my hour of need before, and he has NEVER come to my rescue! (The life-sized cut-outs of Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme notwithstanding, of course.)

Me-Me King said...

Funny, they don't look Mexican.

Anyway, for my protection from the Apocalypse
Zombie de Mexico, I choose Chuckie baby.

RE Ausetkmt said...

I'll take two chuck noriss' please.
you do deliver right ?

and do they come preloaded, or do I have to load him myself ?

Da Old Man said...

@ Sandee: You knew it was coming.

@ Haley: If one becomes a zombie, they would be dead before becoming undead. Death breaks those bonds. So, as a zombie, you would be free to do as you please. Please note this advice may be inconclusive, and check with a zombie attorney for clarification.

@ FishHawk: Good advice. May Chuck be with you.

@ Me-Me: Good choice.

@ RE: Chuck is always loaded and ready for action.

Winky Twinky said...

Haley: As a Divorce Court employee, my advice would be to get a good attorney! The argument that you are indeed "dead" before becoming "undead" may or may not stand up in Court....In a nutshell, once you say "I do," every move you make from there on, is a huge contingent... Good Luck!!

Mrsbear said...

I knew it. Sneezing + pork products = undead. I'll take the cricket bat and the flamethrower please.

Da Old Man said...

@ Winky: Always check with a zombie attorney in matters of the undead.

@ MrsBear: Got it.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Some of my best friends are zombies. Hey, I married one! He's about as undead as dead can be, whatever that means.

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