Yesterday, your reporter revealed that it has reached "Holy crap, we are all going to die" level, so we can only assume that you are one of the few remaining survivors.
As such, you are getting one of the greatest opportunities ever. Crotchety Old Man Flu Fighters, a division of our World Wide HeadQuarters and Discount House of Worship, is offering a complete line of prophylactic products to prevent the Swine/Avian Flu hybrid also known as the H1N1.463 double play.
We have something for every budget.
For those who want the very best and to protect the entire family, we recommend
But not everyone has the cash for such a purchase, yet they still want to be safe, so we offer high fashion hazmat suits in designer colors
Perfect for work or play
If you are more the traditionalist, there is, of course, the "Classic Bubble Boy"
But times are hard. Lots of good folks are out of work. So, for the truly budget conscious, we offer
Safety at a Discount
Order today. Operators are standing by.