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Ok, I'll see you ladies then. Take care, have a nice night.
Are they all gone?
Good!
Ok, guys, here's what I need you to know. I am one of the foremost students of wimmin. I study them, and have even lived with a few of them for research purposes, so I'm pretty much an expert. Now, here is what I learned today while watching The Price is Right.
We don't have to buy stuff for wimmin. Nope. I'm telling you, Drew Carey suggests that they MAY be getting a new car or jewelry or a washer/dryer (They rarely do) and yet they have a reaction that could only be described as "orgasmic."
We've all read of this female reaction, but so few have ever seen it outside of the fake ones in movies. Yet when Drew says "What do you bid for this stuffed aardvark," they attain nirvana, shaking and crying and according to When Harry Met Sally, that's the goal of every man.
Have what she's having
I know what you are thinking. "But Crotchety, you have already adorned the Crotchety Old Lady with the finest jewels and even bought her an ergonomically designed snow shovel. Isn't it a bit late in the game to change?"Yes, Grasshopper, I understand your concern. But, it will all be explained in my new book, "Wimmin, Go Figure.
A Manly Man's Guide to Chicks in the 21st Century."
I expect this book to be one of the most important ever written, and it
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24 comments:
*rolls eyes and storms off* LOL!
Sorry, I was lurking. I may write a book about males of the 21st century. Just mention "I'll give you a BJ" and they melt. You don't even have to follow through with it, just the thought that they MAY get one.
I always learn so much when I visit here...
This is why I was always taught to respect my elders and learn from them...
Thanks for the tutorial. Is it coming out in handbook form?
Well, sometimes the journey is better than the destination. Loving ettarose's BJ comment!
Anna
It will never appeal to the idiot 21 year old minds who think they know everything and that men and women are the same. How ironic your funny post today after the insane experiene I had with my 23 year old trainer for my new job. They know it all Joe! Didn't you know that?
Hope springs eternal.
Interesting! I'm going to start promising the world. Maybe I can get a woman as hot as the one playing Plinko up there.
I don't think that first lady really cares about the prizes. She wants Drew.
There's a lesson for you. If you put it in your book, please pay me royalties! ;-)
Wimmin?
Who you callin wimmin Mister?
heh heh heh
Remember....women fake it well also!
You are SO right. I once mentioned to my EX wife that a week in Cabo San Lucas would do us both a lot of good. We never went, but for several days she was running around telling her friends and all giddy and shit. It bought me a few days of happiness.
We don't even understand ourselves and you expect to figure us out? Not likely to happen. We change the rules if you get even close.
Have a terrific day Crotchety. :)
Love how you do your research.
I must be different..I hate jewelery..and shopping. But if you tell me you are sending me to a week long spa..or bought me a massage..I will make that face.
Just thought I would give you that inside info for you book!
Wow...you went way overboard on your research.
Here's how mine would have went:
**************
Understanding the Female Mind
You can't.
**************
I'll make sure to forward a copy to my feminist sister and her feminist choir.
Sans your address of course.
Some of those wimmins can be mistaken for wraslin' mens.
My little goat eyes light up for grain and apples. I am very easy to please.
The publicist on the other hand...she just wants her house built. Not TOO much to ask after two years, is it? IS IT? Huh, huh, huh?
You received a very honorable mention in what I just posted on Crackerhead about comments, and I can't wait to see how you try to respond to the comments on this particular post.
@ Lady Sarcasm: You didn't read the disclaimer.
@ Etta: That does work. We become very compliant.
@ LL: I want to be known as Perfessor Crotchety
@ Chris: Along with a study guide. Just pay shipping and handling.
@ Anne: It is all about the journey.
@ Lauren: They don't. That is why my book will be so successful.
@ Sherry: Always
@ Shawn: Just invite her back to your place for some Plinko, and you are in like Flynn.
@ Reforming: It's always about the prizes. Drew is just the cherry on her sundae.
@ Quirky: Uhhmm, youse wimmins
@ Thinking: Faking has always been good enough for me.
@ Don: It really is the thought, not the gift that counts
@ Sandee: I keep getting closer, though. Sensible men would have given up by now.
@ Hussy: Ok, we'll promise you a chance for a spa weekend.
@ Moooooog: Good research is important.
@ Mike: It's all good. I'll promise them flannel shirts.
@ Pricilla: The male person is playing the game perfectly. The chance of a house is all he needs to provide.
@ FishHawk: Piece of cake. And thanks.
I hate to tell you this (sorry, I peeked because you said it was a scholarly treatise and I used to teach at a university), but no self-respecting women's studies program would include any book written by a man in their curricula--although yours may be a first!
Ooops, Sorry, I know I wasn't supposed to be reading, but....maybe you need a whole chapter on "Free sh*t". Women love free sh*t--and I think that's where the excitement comes in on those game shows. Something fur nuthin'.
Ha ha... Yaz. Ha ha....
@ Patricia: I fully expect to be the first.
@ Lin: It's the chance to get something for nothing. They don't usually win.
@ SpeakDog: I can't figure Yaz out. Maybe someone can explain it to me.
Hmm.. I'm a feminist, lols. Nice blog.
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