Saturday, September 06, 2008

It's All About Personal Growth

I know I've mentioned this before, but I have some anger issues. Oh yeah. Truly. In the distant past, I've even listed 101 things that just piss me off.
Because it's important to reassess one's life, I decided to reprint them, and then carefully go over them, and highlight in red any areas in which I have experienced growth.

In alphabetical order:

1. Annoying kids 2.Administration 3.Aluminum foil 4.AOL 5.Al Franken 6.British people 7.Brittany Spears 8.Basketball 9.Bennies (it’s a Jersey thing) 10.Bob Grant 11.Cucumbers 12.CNN 13.Chickpeas 14.College Football 15.Cell phones 16.Cigarette smoke 17.Corporate culture 18.Country music 19.Cold weather 20.Car insurance 21.Crab legs 22.Computers 23.Democrats 24.Drive thru workers who screw up my order 25.Diet soda 26.Eels 27.Eminem 28.Enron 29.Exxon 30.Elbow macaroni 31.E-bay 32.Friends (TV show) 33. Freckles 34.French (the) 35.Frankfurters 36.German potato salad 37.Green ketchup 38.Geese 39.Green jell-o 40.GWB 41.Harry Potter 42.Halloween 43.Hummers (SUV, not the other kind) 44.Humidity 45.Hot weather 46.Iced tea 47.Irons 48.In-laws 49.Jam 50.Kennedys 51.Liberals 52.Liver and onions 53.Liars 54.Lima beans 55.McGreevey 56.Meetings 57.Mayonnaise 58.Michael Jackson 59.Mets (the) 60.My Honey 61.Michael Moore 62.Nuns 63.Opera 64.Onstar commercials 65.Online porn 66.Paulie Shore 67.People who won’t learn English 68.People who beep their horns too soon. 69.People who say catsup instead of ketchup 70.People who say “noodles” when they mean spaghetti 71.People who pay by credit card when the bill is less than $10.00 72.People who get by on their looks 73.People who will count the items listed 74.Pomegranates 75.Pea soup 76.Politicians 77.Quince 78.Republicans 79.Rush Limbaugh 80.Royalty 81.Rap 82.Radishes 83.Salmon 84.Screaming kids 85.Stupid people 86.Single ply toilet tissue 87.Snakes 88.Stray animals 89.Sand 90.SUV’s 91.Taxes 92.Tofu 93.Toll booths 94.Vaseline 95.Vanilla ice cream 96.Water chestnuts 97.Work 98.X-wives 99.Yellow cars 100. Zebras 101. Politicians.

That's my list. You'll note I have experienced growth in 2 areas. I no longer am pissed off by British people and cucumbers.
This is mostly because I may have been a bit xenophobic, and the only British people I knew were some woman I used to work with and Madonna, although I didn't really know Madonna.

But thanks to the internet, I now know some British people, and other than their use of extraneous "U" s they are pretty cool. See, growth is good.
And I sorta kinda like cucumber salad. I'm not a huge fan of cucucmbers, but I like them in salad with creamy dressing, and dammit, that's growth.

And here's a chance for you to experience personal growth:

My humor blogging buddy, ettarose, who has suffered tremendously as she lost all her feeds. She's like the Bo Peep of the blogging world. If you could find it in your heart to sign up for her blog by clicking below, you'll bring a smile to a fine young lady's face. And here I do my best Sally Struthers: Consider it your good deed of the day. It's a chance to experience personal growth and help her do likewise.
It's like having a karma coupon.


HUMOR BLOGGERS DOT COM





They never piss me off at:
http://www.humorbloggers.com/


20 comments:

The Natural State Hawg said...

What amazes me is just how many things on that list had me going, "Yeah! That pisses me off, too!"

Visit The Natural State Hawg!

Da Old Man said...

@ The Hawg: We both have issues, then. :)

Lauren said...

Wow that's a long list.

Adullamite said...

Anger issues? You seem normal to me!

Did the USA get, or copy, the 'Grumpy Old Men' series and its added progs? A series in which folks our age indicated displeasure at so many things, kids, music, women, shops etc. I found even the men I disliked talked sense there, and opposed the idea of them being 'grumpy.' They sounded 'normal' to me!
So do you!

Adullamite said...

I think I will cogitate for a while and copy that idea! I may get several pages of a post out of that!

FishHawk said...

I can't believe you left out X-rated xylophone routines. This is very disturbing.

Bill said...

I think you've shown admirable restraint in keeping your list to 101!

Jenn Thorson said...

I'm glad to hear you've changed your mind about those British folks. And cucumbers.

I'd say cucumbers might not need to inspire love, but for them to have actually pissed you off, well, I hope you're on some good blood pressure meds because otherwise I will now be worrying about you for that, in addition to the open wounds on your leg.

PS- I have said "hi" on your behalf to one of those British people who changed your mind. :)

Da Old Man said...

@ lauren: Yeah, I do have a lot of issues. The list started because my friends at work said I'm always grumpy, and so many things seem to piss you off. They said there couldn't be many. I told them I could list 100, easy. So I did.

@ Adullamite: Grumpy old men was huge here. Glad you can get some posts out of this. My personal growth has benefitted both of us.

@ Fishhawk: I'm trying to demonstarte personal growth. I can't keep adding to the list.

@ bill: The hardest part was just picking out 101.

@ Jenn: I'm one huge doses of meds. And thank you for saying hi to our mutual friend. :)

Chat Blanc said...

that's like 2% growth! you're on a roll.

TheFLy said...

Wowza, either you really know what you hate and how to hate them or you just have too much time on your hands to alphabetize them or maybe both, haha.

Meh, its a pretty short list for an old man, haha.

buzz buzz

Da Old Man said...

@ Chat: Growth is important, even when measured in small amounts.

@ The Fly: I don't hate those things, they just piss me off.
And now, I'm down to only 99 things.

Mike Smith said...

Packaging. That certainly pisses me off...

dani c said...

Pretty cool list...

ettarose said...

My God man, you sound like me. Almost everything pisses me off. Wonder which one of us could make the longest list? Hmmm

Da Old Man said...

@ Mike: Packaging wil be on my next list.

@ Dani: Thanks

@ Etta: I can't imagine. I could probably do another 100 easy. While I do have some personal growth, I'm still crotchety enough to continue to find things to piss me off.

Kirsten said...

I hate cucumbers and I don't think I could ever get over it. You are a better man than I!

Da Old Man said...

@ Kirsten: I would presume so. :)

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