Thursday, March 19, 2009

Shmeat, it's What's for Dinner.

In our never ending quest to bring the newest information in science technology, the story of shmeat has been uncovered.
Ok, I was just watching Colbert and he did the story, and I'm following up for those of you who are burdened with such pesky things like jobs and raising families, and all around being productive types rather than being able to watch TV 16 hours a day. It's just one more thing I do because you are my favorite reader.

Here's the downlow on the future of Frankenfood: Vladimir Mironov, a biologist at the Medical University of South Carolina, is among a handful of scientists culturing meat from animal tissue. His work involves turning formless, textureless patches of the stuff into mass-produced form — like meat sheets, or what one might affectionately call "shmeat."
The "semi-living steak" (right) was made of embryonic sheep muscle cells that were grown on a polyester scaffold (left)

The possibilities are endless.
This will go well beyond recipes for shmeatloaf, or spaghetti and shmeatballs.

We will have to go back and change all the old advertising jingles.
MickeyD will have to change the Big Mac one to "2 all shmeat patties, special sauce..."

Wendy's will want to redo it's old "Where's the shmeat" campaign.

This could be a banner day for both wacky scientists and jingle writers alike.

Can you guess who is behind this search for lab grown meat?

Yup, PETA. This is their best idea since sea kittens. Photobucket

On an unrelated note:
I had corned beef and cabbage Tuesday, and spent Wednesday
Poor Crotchety Old Lady
Lastly, a Happy St. Joseph's Day to my Goomba's.

Picture and some of the information source:


Stacie said...


Lauren said...

Sadly the gas is more appealing than the shmeat.

dizzblnd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dizzblnd said...

I WAS eating lunch when I read this. I was eating BBQ pork, now I wonder if its not Schpork.. blech

I always knew I was your favorite reader! You are my favorite grumpy old man ;)

Tell Mrs. Crotchety I have an extra gas mask she can have

Shawn said...

"It's just one more thing I do because you are my favorite reader."

I knew it! I'm off to celebrate with some schmeat and potatoes.

I Hate Commercials said...

Leave it up to PETA to come up with something as weird as schmeat

Nooter said...

mmm.... shmeat..

Mike said...

Will you have to call it "beating your schmeat"?

Da Old Man said...

@ Stacie: lol

@ Lauren: Both are pretty awful

@ Dizz: Mmmm. shpork

@ Shawn: Enjoy

@ I hate: Exactly

@ Nooter: They can make it into Shmalpo

Da Old Man said...

@ Mike: You can

Don said...

Maybe they'll work on sheets of clams and cookies next. Hell yeah. Shlams and shookies. Works for me!

CastoCreations said...

That is just so gross and wrong.

ReformingGeek said...

That does it. I'm going vegan.

Yeah, right.

HealthNutWannabeDad said...

Looks like the cousin of Spam.


Eat Well. Live Well.

~*~Shadow.Crystal~*~ said...

Damn, if that's real, that's creepy... I can't believe a lot of vegetarians think it's a good idea. I can't find any info about it on any type of news site though, so I'm still trying to figure out how legit it is.

lot 2 learn said...

That fartsmiley was priceless. I am still laughing

C.B. Jones said...


kalos_eidos said...

Bleck! I could walk to the river and dredge the bottom for something more appetizing than that.

Ryan Garns said...

What I don't get is: who the hell is this being done for? Is PETA expecting meat-eaters to eat that crap? Or is PETA looking for a way for vegans to savor the taste of meat without guilt?

Either way, this is the kind of idiocy that occurs when someone tries to appeal to someone they don't understand -- kind of like a man who takes a woman to a strip club on a first date.

Swirl Girl said...

do the words Soylent Green mean anything to you????

First shmeat, then mockolate...then what?

The Fitness Diva said...

Peta has lost their damn minds.

OMG. Nothing that looks like that will EVER end up on my plate! :O

Jenn Thorson said...

Schmeat is now officially up there with green eggs and ham in my list of things that I do not want.

Never let vegetarians who do not understand the joy of the burger, to be in charge of creating tasty meat substitutes.

Anonymous said...

But what did you wash down your corned beef and cabbage? Green Schmear. Wait, that didn't sound right.

The Hawg! said...


So, who's hungry after reading that?

Da Old Man said...

@ Don: What, no shoysters?

@ Casto: But funny

@ Reforming: I'd do that before eating shmeat

@ Paul: Spam's mutant cousin

@ Shadow: The link I used is from NPR. I thought Colbert was just being goofy. It looks legit to me.

@ Lot2Learn: It's one of my favorites.

@ CB: Sounds delish.

@ Kalos: Probably. It would be safer, too, I'm sure

@ Ryan: That strip club thing rarely ever works out.

@ Swirl: Never mockolate. Nooooooo!

@ Fitness: Mine either.

@ Jenn: No Frankenfood for you, Missy.

@ Unfinished: Don't remind me. I've spent the last day in the bathroom. Stoopid corned beef and cabbage.

@ The Hawg: But this is the future of cheeseburgers.

dani c said...

Happy Joe's Day !!!!

Carl said...

All of a sudden, I have this strong urge to rush to the bathroom.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

All I can say is "ewwwwwwww"

HumorSmith said...

I think we should call a shmeating and discuss this. There's a lot at steak.

~*~Shadow.Crystal~*~ said...

Ahh... I had never heard of NPR before. Scary stuff!

Technodoll said...

While it's not a bad idea (I mean think of all the problems it would solve!), I sure as hell wouldn't touch any of it with a 10-foot pole.

But then again I'm a quasi-vegetarian so I really don't care, LOL!

Da Old Man said...

@ Dani: Thanks. It's a huge religious Holiday where Italians eat pastry.

@ Carl: I've spent most of the day there.

@ Petra: I know, and agree.

@ Humor: Indeed

@ Shadow: It's National Public Radio in the USA. Kind of a trusted source for disgusting news items.

@ Technodoll: I am too, and it may make me a full one.

Michelle said...

Old man do you realize how totally disgusting and gross that shmeat makes me feel? Does that sentence even make any sense to you???

Please no more shmeat!!!!!!