Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Happy April Fool's Day Eve

Whenever anyone talks about bad days to have your birthday, the Christmas and Christmas Eve group starts whining that they get screwed out of presents. They wind up getting a two-fer. My friends Vinnie (yeah, every Italian has a friend named Vinnie) and Kevin both have Christmas Eve birthdays, so I've heard it all before. My nephew is December 26th, so that kind of sucks, too.
The Crotchety Old Lady has her birthday on July 4th, and that is kind of fun.

But no matter how bad anyone claims their birthdate is, mine is the worst. Easily.

By far.

April Friggin' Fools Day.

Oh yeah, since forever, every time someone finds out when my birthday is, I hear some lame joke. People just can't help themselves.

Every possible combination of my mother, father, any member of the family tree, will be used in "You fooled them," or some other wacky twist of that.

Or, of course, "April Fool's Day? That figures."

And it wasn't limited to that. I rarely was ever just given my presents, it had to be some sort of stupid crap like hiding them, or giving me empty boxes. Hilarious the first time. After a few years, believe me, it got old.

"Just give me my damn socks and the 5 dollar bill, Grandma. I got shit to do," just didn't sound right coming from an 8 year old, but sometimes a kid's just gotta say something to stop those crazy relatives.

Well, help yourself to a piece of cake, and stop by tomorrow for the caption contest, birthday edition.




rutgersmb said...

Happy Birthday Joe (a day early)
my cousin says the same thing you share the same b-day. his mother also shares the same b-day as the two of you
talk to you later today

I am about to boycott Direct tv they never showed up today

lot 2 learn said...

An early Happy Birthday to you my friend !

SpeakDog said...

Heh. Isn't it funny how *everybody* makes the same lame jokes, and think they're so clever?

It happens to me at the restaurant all the time,and I want to say "Yeah. That joke? Has never been funny. Ever. And hearing it one million times hasn't improved it."

Happy Birthday.

Swirl Girl said...

Happy Birthday Crotchety!

Shinade said...

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Joeeeeee!!!!!
Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!

Oh I hope you have a great day.


ettarose said...

Happy happy happy Birthday my friend. No joking around I adore you. I hope the Mrs. gives you a little. ;)

dizzblnd said...

Grandma is probabably Oh so proud. I hope you have a great day tomorrow! Aries ROCK!

shyne said...

Happy Birthday Eve!
(Refraining from making a lame joke.....;-))

My DD's b'day is the 2nd (barely).....it took ALOT of concentration to make that happen, let me tell ya.


Don said...

Happy Birthday before I forget. Maybe Mrs. Crotchety will not put those stupid candles in your cake that won't go out. Better yet eat some good pie instead!

Jenn Thorson said...

Aw, that does suck. Did you get trick birthday candles a lot, too?

My family LOVED to give me trick birthday candles (I'm not an April Fool's birthday, they just thought this was funny.) I would have to BEG, "PLEASE do not put trick birthday candles on my cake."

Considering I had asthma and had serious pneumonia twice, I feel this was not so much humor, as cleverly-orchestrated child abuse. :)

Michelle said...


I will come up with a better party dinner!!!

FishHawk said...

Since this is the eve of your birthday, does that mean that all who show up at your door in costume can expect a treat? (Personally, I would prefer the trick option.)

ReformingGeek said...

I wonder how the folks born on February 29th feel?

Anyway, I hope you have a good birthday tomorrow.

Mine was yesterday. Dizzbldn's was last week. Aries do indeed rock!

MA Fat Woman said...

Happy Birthday Eve!

Joel Klebanoff said...

Happy Birthday Eve, Joe (a.k.a. Old Man, soon to be Somewhat Older Man)!

No joke.

Da Old Man said...

@ Rutgers: Thank you. I warned you about that with the TV people yesterday.

@ Lot2learn: Thanks, Rob.

@ SpeakDog: You're preaching to the choir.

@ Swirl: Thanks.

@ Shinade: Thank you. You sing so well. :)

@ Etta: I'd be happy just to have her sit next to me.

@ Dizz: I'm sure she was.
And yes, Aries Rock!

@ Shyne: Thanks. You did DD a major favor.

@ Don: Thanks. And Mrs Crotchety knows better than to do that stuff.

@ Jenn: Of course. Yes, we kids were an endless source of amusement.

@ Michelle: Thanks. I'd appreciate that.

@ FishHawk: Yeah, that's it. And I pass out candy.

@ Reforming: I was wondering that, too. I would think it's pretty cool. A belated happy birthday to you.
See, all the cool kids are Aries.

@ MA: Thanks.

@ Joel: Thanks. Birthdays are good for you, the more you have, the longer you live.

Jormengrund said...


I bet you've got the fire extinguisher all set up for tomorrow, don't you?

And they said you never prepared for anything..

Happy B-day old man!

I wonder if I'll actually make it there, or if I'm going to eat myself into some kind of sugar or carb coma??

Stacie said...

awe, happy early birthday...ya old fool. ;)

My bday is July 5th and it DOES rock to have it around the 4th. There's always parties and fireworks, parades, cook-outs...it's good times. :)

Sandee said...

Your birthday really sucks Crotchety. I mean it really sucks. Bwahahahahahaha.

See you tomorrow. :)

Anonymous said...

Happy early birthday DOM!

(Quirky tries hiding empty birtday box behind her back.)

I hope it's a great one without any viruses or zombies.

Just sayin'.


Lady Sarcasm said...

If I could gert you a Richard Simmons jumping out of a tower of sugar free cupcakes I would, but alas all I can do is wish you the best birthday yet. ;)

Tina said...

Our family has a little twist on what took place on April 1st. My dad passed away. It may seem sad, but it always adds a little humor for me and puts a smile on my face. If you knew my dad you would understand. I swear he planned it that way. :-)

Pricilla said...

Happy Early Day. I promise not to send you a bag of goat poop for the big day. Maybe I will have my kids tomorrow in your honor!

Auntie E said...

Happy birthday to you! I hate those April fool jokes. Do not play them. I will say at least you have a birthday every year. Being born on Feb 29th sucks!!:-)

Da Old Man said...

@ Jormen: Of course. We keep a spare, too.

@ Stacie: Thanks. Only bad part about b-day on the 4th is we like to go away. Rooms cost triple or more than other times of the year.

@ Sandee: Yes, it does. See ya tomorrow.

@ Quirky: I was kind of hoping for the zombie attacks to begin. That would be cool.

@ Lady Sarcasm: Thanks. Good wishes are more than enough.

@ Tina: Sorry for the loss, but at least you find some good in it. Bet your dad was a fun guy.

@ Pricilla: Thank you, and especially thanks for no goat poop. The Crotchety Old Lady hates when I give her poop related stuff.

@ Auntie E: Thanks. Really? I would think it's fun that you get to pick whatever day you want 3 out of 4 times.

moooooog35 said...

I was going to wish you a Happy Birthday but I have to attend my "Masturbators Anonymous" meeting.


Like I'd ever give that up.

Especially for your birthday.

Betcha I can put your candles out from here.

Happy B-Day.

The Hawg! said...

Well, happy birthday! Enjoy it.

Or try to, at least.

Meanwhile, I'll be thinking of the April Fool's jokes that will make me the most annoying bastard in town.

Heh, heh.

nonamedufus said...

Well DOM, there's no fool like an old (man) fool! Happy b'day...no foolin'.

LOBO said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

Deb said...

Happy Birthday Eve, Joe!

Hope your day is filled with happy times of yelling at cars and being crotchety!

john said...

happy birthday to you....and i guess your write, having a birthday on aprils fools day must of been painful.

dont worry, i wont write a joke....

Lin said...

Oh gees, that sucks, Joe. (Imagine Marilyn Monroe singing....) Happy birthday to you..Happy birthday to you....Happy birthday, dear Joe, Happy birthday to you.

See? No jokes. Just pure sex appeal, baby! Hope it's a good one!!!

savvy said...

Well Stated, my friend. Happy B-day eve!1

Mrs4444 said...


Shawn said...

Happy early (barely) birthday, good sir!

Joanie M said...

Happy Birthday Joe!! Many happy returns!

CastoCreations said...

Ahhh...poor guy. My little cousin's birthday is also tomorrow. I do feel bad for ya. :) So here's an early Happy Birthday for you!!! I hope you don't have to suffer any fools.

Da Old Man said...

@ Mooooog: Enjoy your meeting.

@ The Hawg: Oh no!

@ Nonamed: Got that right. Thanks

@ Lobo: Thanks.

@ Deb: Thanks. That is part of my plan for the day

@ John: Thanks for not making a joke.

@ Lin: Thanks. Fantastic Marilyn imitation, BTW.

@ Savvy: Thanks.

@ Mrs 4444: Thank you.

@ Shawn: Thank you very much

@ Joanie: Thanks.

@ Casto: Wish him a very happy from me. Thanks for the good wish.

Lauren said...

Sucks to be you. Hey we all chipped in and bought you the conflicka virus. LOL. (hope not)

Anonymous said...

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SLColman said...

Happy Birthday!!

Thanks for that dairy free site tip!

Da Old Man said...

@ Lauren: Thanks. And I didn't get you anything. :(

@ Kaylee: Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again.

@ SL: Thanks. Glad you liked the site. I found it pretty useful.

Crabby Blogging Lady said...

Well I hope you have a happy day! Blame your mom. She coulda held you in for just ONE day more, sheesh! It's all HER fault! haha!

Count Sneaky said...

On one's birthday a wish for a happy day is sufficient, No cleverness is called for.
Happy Birthday!

Lipstick said...

Happy Birthday Crotchety!!!! Are there any specials going on at the Discount House of Worship?

Bunk Strutts said...

Could be the best birth date is 29 February. I was in the same high school graduating class as Wendy Eckstedt. Although we've been on this planet for about the same amount of time, she's only about 13 now.

(As an aside, there were no children named "Wendy" until the Disney movie version of "Peter Pan" came out.)