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Wednesday, March 11, 2009
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TV ROCKS!!!
Killer Guard Dog on Duty
Here's Where They Keep the Funny
Who Am I?
I'm a crotchety old guy who enjoys ranting and raving about the injustices of the world. While many of my rants are political in nature, I can complain about almost anything. If I were a cartoon character, I'd be Grandpa Simpson or an elderly Eric Cartman.
And that is me in the picture. : )
And that is me in the picture. : )
TV ROCKS!!!
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Don't Steal My Stuff
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New Jersey Division
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2009
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March
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- Happy April Fool's Day Eve
- Monday Morning Meh
- Anyone know where I can get some head paint?
- Happy Saturday
- It's National Joe Day, Caption winner announced
- A Blast From the Past
- Caption This: Celebration Weeks Edition
- Two for Tuesday
- Important New Jersey News
- I'm Very Sorry
- Isn't it weird how so many things all seem to happ...
- Caption Winner Announced
- Shmeat, it's What's for Dinner.
- Caption this; win zucchini
- Happy St. Patrick's Day
- Those Wacky British Scientists
- Somebody has a birthday coming up soon
- Have you ever been so close...
- Caption winner announced
- It's number 501
- Caption This
- I'm Being Cyber Stalked...
- The Countdown Begins
- My new house
- Humor Bloggers Are Artists
- Caption Winner Announced
- Important Recycling Tip
- Caption this: win Zucchini
- Whatsis revealed
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March
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Need To Contact Me?
I can't imagine why, but I can be reached at:
jwlreebiz@aol.com
Put something in the title so I know it's not spam
jwlreebiz@aol.com
Put something in the title so I know it's not spam
Ned's Chatboard
Loaded Web
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Copyright © 2008 Crotchety Old Man
60 comments:
"I DON'T WANNA MAMA!! This ain't fried like yo promised!" WAAAAH!!"
Pilfered early photos of the MA Fat Woman surfaced recently and were expected to bring nearly a dollar apiece at the upcoming Sotheby's auction.
Brain Freeze!
Timmy Bob wowed the judges of American Idol with his highly original performance of
"Meloncholy Baby"
Watermelon, Watermelon,
Watermelon Rind
Don't you dare look at
My fat behind!
MAMA......why do I always get the smallest piece
So it IS true, you CAN get pregnant from eating a watermelon seed waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
THESE ARE SEEDS, NOT M&M'S!!!
Delicious fruit was Fatman's Kryptonite.
Ten bucks says this is where all the e-coli comes from.
Just plant a watermelon at the head of my grave,
And let the juice run through.
"I really hope you aren't taking a photo of this, Mum, or I'll live forever in infamy as the star of a series of not-at-all humorous Photoshops in which I hold various items of fruit and/or vegetables. I only want to be like Pavarotti! Is that so much to ask?"
Sorry 'bout that, went on a bit of a rant there.
La la la la la la Bamba
"Mo-om. Cousin Manny just told me you are what you eat and called me FatFace RoundPants. I AM NOT A WATERMELON!"
I wanted a watermelon candy and a chupa chup and you gave me this... wwwwaaahhh
(need to add the waaahhhh in, it seems to be what you do around here)
"It's too smaaalll! You said I could have the big piece!"
Augustus Gloop was disappointed to find that not everything in the Wonka factory tasted like chocolate.
Little Timmy wanted to be Wally Watermelon after reading about the adventures of Johnny Appleseed, and after eating too many seeds, Timmy decided he didn't like Johnny Appleseed or his stupid adventures anymore.
After a rousing rendition of the "Truffle Shuffle" (Thanks Goonies!) Chunk proceeds to do his best impersonation of the Nutty Professor by chanting "Hercules! Hercules!" while downing a piece of watermelon.
Waaah! I thought you said this was a pie eating contest?
Tracy Byrd as a child...
"When the band started playing the watermelon queen said
Let me show you something that you ain't never seen
She grabbed me by the arm said come on let's go
She dipped down spun around and doe-see-doed
She rocked back on her heels dropped down to her knees
Crawled across the floor then she jumped back on her feet
She wiggled and she giggled beat all you ever saw
Said this is how you do the watermelon crawl
She said we got a hundred gallons of sweet red wine
Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine
Help yourself to some but obey the law
If you drink don't drive do the watermelon crawl"
How in the heck am I gonna keep my figure eating watermelon?
Have a great day Crotchety. :)
The Plane...The Plane...!!
"ah num num, next is your head"
Herbie Hancock...The Artist As A Young Man
How the mafia gets criminal watermelon to talk.
The McWatermelon debuts to scathing reviews.
I thought you said this would taste as good as candy!
His blowdart now sticking firmly in the boy's dimpled buttocks, Marlin Perkins was still on edge. He knew it would take at least three men to weigh this specimen then tag him and release him back into the wild.
As Raul geared up to headbutt the watermelon for a third time, we realized the doctors were probably right.
I bit my tongue!
coming soon to a theater near you:
Attack of the Killer Watermelons!
Arg! this thing tastes like Zima!
After finishing all of his Halloween candy (and his sister's and his brother's) Javier decided to go after the Jack-O-Lantern...
You lying bitch, this fruit!!!
"Hey Uncle Johnny, you bastard! This ain't no freakin' harmonica!!"
As a child, Enrique was always happy to lend his special talents to the "Most Frightened Wedge of Watermelon" contest.
In Soviet Russia, watermelon bites you!
It ain't funny, Bubba. Don't make me eat anymore, I've already et 4 of em. I don't wanna get fat like you.
"Hey Uncle Johnny, you bastard! This ain't no freakin' harmonica!!"
LOL :)
Why do i have to make my own bicycle helmet?
Mom: Charlie!! Come up for air!
Charlie: *GASP*
Are you sure this is where babies come from?!?!?!
i said SHE NEEDED big melons, NOT ME!! :(
You said it was seedless.. I'm gonna sue, I think I broke a tooth!
My mouth says yes but my belly says no!
"Who sucked all the chocolate off?!"
Ay, yi, yi-yi,
I got mel-on in my ey-e!
Oh No! My precious watermelon, my best friend...num num num. delicious best friend.
I was going to caption but then I read Jenn's. I can't compete with that...
Waaah Moo-ooom dis one has seeds! You promised!
"I feel goo-ood" danananananana
"..I knew that I would, now"
danananananana
"I fee-ee-eel good" danananananana
"..I knew that I would, now"
danananananana
"So Good!" da da
"So GOOD!" da
"I got FOOD!!" da da da da DAH!
Young Rod Blagojevich auctioning off his watermelon piece.
==
TARP is replaced by WARP Watermelon Assistance Recovery Plan.
==
I need more stimulus to finish this piece.
Those effin neighbor kids are bacccckkkk !!!!!!!
Billy Bob throws his head back and gets ready to do his impersonation of a charging Rhino eating a big juicy water lily.
Dr. David Banner's early experiments with irradiate fruit go horribly, horribly wrong.
How Luccio Pavarotti got his start:
Singing for his supper
"YOU MEAN I GOTTA SHARE THIS???"
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaa"!
{An analogy of the stimulus recipients}
Aaaaa! Yeeeessssssss! Sticky melon orgasm!!
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