Whoosh!!!!!!

Christmas came and went and Mrs. Crotchety didn't get a present from me.

Let me run my idea past youse because usually your ideas are pretty good. I was thinking of a stripper pole. Good idea or great idea?


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Merry Christmas

Merry Chrismas to everyone!!!

May there be Peace on Earth!!!



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Guess where I'm going in January?

Well after conferring for 2 months about my foot (not the reason I've been in the rehab center,) the doctors decided I need to be operated on.

So, until the sawblades have another whack at me, my phone number is 732.650.8419

If you haven't done your Christmas shopping for me yet, a phone call is the perfect gift.

And a special thank you to The Middle Aged Fat Woman who sent a box o' Christmas Goodies, along with phone calls.

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Holiday Shopping

I wanted to buy Christmas presents for all my bloggy friends, but the shopping opportunties are rather limited.

Here is what is in your virtual Christmas package:

An adult diaper, available in white (how borinng)and sea (foam much more festive.)

4 oz. cups of cranberry juice

An autographed picture of my naughty bits ,suitable for framing, (not so special as nearly 300 health care professionals and a dozen nursing students have seen them already.

A Sponge Bath by Dave

Let me know which you picked... Or whether you picked them all.

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Formula for sleep

Since so many of my internet buddies have trouble sleeping I'll share my sure fire way to a restful 8 hours.

Step 1 : Have bum washed with warm, soapy water.
Apply powder and fresh diaper.

Add Ambien 5 mg

Plus Dilodin (Also spelled Dilodid) 4 mg equals good night sleep.

You're welcome

By the way, Ambien is known for hallucinations involving giant chickens I am disappointed to say I was hallucinaton free.

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