Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Commercials for Morons

These are real commercials and the target audience is morons.

There is a medication and one of the side effects may be dry mouth. The voice over helpfully points out that water may be helpful for dry mouth.


The Johnny Cochran firm in NY also advertises its legal services. They mention they are helpful in case of injury. You don't want to face the big insurance attorneys alone.

Or if you are a celebrity murderer.

See you in a couple days

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Seems that lately all I've written about is what body part was lost (total to date for new readers: leg, kidneys, belly button, mind) but today there's some good news.

I can lift my fat butt up and stand on my one leg by myself. Taa Daaah!

Once Stumpy heals I'll be able to get a table leg or something, strap it on, and get the hell out of here.

By the way, am I the only one who wondered if those trapped miners got straight pay or time and a half while they were in the mine.

How sick are you with political commercials? Are these lowlifes the best we have? And why do they spend many millions for a job that pays maybe $100 K?

It's been a rough week for me with my Yankees (sniff, whimper) losing embarassingly to Texas. A Rod gets like 27 mil per year. You'd think maybe he could get a couple hits? Well, it's not really his fault. Remember Babe Ruth visited a hospital and promised a sick kid that he would hit a homer for him? Well it seems that A Rod visited a sick kid, too. And he promised him a grounder to second.

I hope to get on the puter soon. In the meantime, Hey Kevin, call me.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


As a people approach a level of stupidity never before seen in history, I wonder where the bottom will be. I got a box of jelly beans yesterday and it came with directions!

Anyone too stupid to eat jelly beans without directions deserves to starve.

Some good news. With some help, I can stand on my one gimpy leg for 30 seconds.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Of nudity and clocks

Yeah, I said clocks.

So, I roll into my room and see a big naked guy on the other bed. I understand my women readers may have been intrigued, along with 8-10 percent of the men, but I was perplexed.
It was my new room mate, a guy who assumed it was a clothing optional facility. In the brief time I saw him, I noticed he needed ironing.

The stupid computer won't let me leave comments, and there were plenty of smartass ones.

Some of youse may wonder how I am able to wake up at 3 a.m.

The facility has a young girl vigorously scrub my naughty bits. Works much better than an alarm clock. When I go home I'm sure Mrs C will discontinue this method.

My number is 908.222.5142