Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Christmas came and went and Mrs. Crotchety didn't get a present from me.

Let me run my idea past youse because usually your ideas are pretty good. I was thinking of a stripper pole. Good idea or great idea?

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas

Merry Chrismas to everyone!!!

May there be Peace on Earth!!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Guess where I'm going in January?

Well after conferring for 2 months about my foot (not the reason I've been in the rehab center,) the doctors decided I need to be operated on.

So, until the sawblades have another whack at me, my phone number is 732.650.8419

If you haven't done your Christmas shopping for me yet, a phone call is the perfect gift.

And a special thank you to The Middle Aged Fat Woman who sent a box o' Christmas Goodies, along with phone calls.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Holiday Shopping

I wanted to buy Christmas presents for all my bloggy friends, but the shopping opportunties are rather limited.

Here is what is in your virtual Christmas package:

An adult diaper, available in white (how borinng)and sea (foam much more festive.)

4 oz. cups of cranberry juice

An autographed picture of my naughty bits ,suitable for framing, (not so special as nearly 300 health care professionals and a dozen nursing students have seen them already.

A Sponge Bath by Dave

Let me know which you picked... Or whether you picked them all.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Formula for sleep

Since so many of my internet buddies have trouble sleeping I'll share my sure fire way to a restful 8 hours.

Step 1 : Have bum washed with warm, soapy water.
Apply powder and fresh diaper.

Add Ambien 5 mg

Plus Dilodin (Also spelled Dilodid) 4 mg equals good night sleep.

You're welcome

By the way, Ambien is known for hallucinations involving giant chickens I am disappointed to say I was hallucinaton free.