Saturday, November 26, 2011

things I would have written about if not depressed

It really pissed me off every time on 11-11-11 and the tv people said it would be 100 years until it comes again. Isn't that the same with every date?

Still no action on the dating front.

Talked to a friend the other day who said I should have put cameras in. My real life is more bizzare than what I write about.

I'm not your typical, one-legged, old fat guy.

By the way, bought a Bumble. Who needs a Christmas tree?






http://www.humorbloggers.com

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I did it!!!

Yep, I did it. Put an ad on Craigslist

Here it is

I'm a bankrupt disabled, cranky, old stud muffin.

Wanted

Single woman with substantial income and savings.

Prefer heiress

No f'ing children or grandchildren

If children or grandchildren must be willing to kill them by second date.

I've gotten no responses. :(

Anyone know how I could make it more desireable?



http://www.humorbloggers.com

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Feeling kinda bored

I decided to visit Craigslist. Maybe I could find a friend.

Don't want a girlfriend, but somebody to accpmpany me to dinner and stuff.

Ho;y crap!!!

I saw ads that I was sorta embarassed to see. Didn't know people were willing to do that to strangers.

Don't know what half the letters meant.





http://www.humorbloggers.com

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Step by step

Turns out
Mrs C stole over 50,000 and a car to give to the Succubus and the Con
Man (her 2 Hellspawn.)

The police are investigating, tomorrow I'll report to DMV, and on Thursday I have an appointment with the lawyer

Sorry not around but I have been diagnosed with ptsd, and not in the mood to do anything.

I really need to sue those scum.

The Succubus tells people I killed her Mother.




http://www.humorbloggers.com

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Comeback kid

I'm starting my comeback.

Filed criminal charges, and getting lawyered up.

Suggestion of the day:

Don't screw with a Sicilian

I must be feeling better. I did an entire post about my situation without dropping the f bomb.

Thanks for everyone's kind words.

And NO typos.


http://www.humorbloggers.com

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Highwaymen

For the sake of this post, that is the nicest way I can use to descibe Mrs. C's kids.

Just so you know, I need to write this to help dispel some of my anger. My priest and social worker told me so. Some of it is funny some sad, and some nauseating. Read at your own risk. I'm using actual real first names so there is a disclaimer of sorts.

Disclaimer- If anyone reads this and wants to sue because I attacked your integrity or moral character:
1. I have a better lawyer than you
2. I can prove in court that you have the morals and character of a 3 card Monte dealer
3. Kiss my chunky white ass.

Cast of characters:
Me
Mrs. c. (Fran) The love of my life for the last 19 years. She was beautiful, kind, loving, and had many friends who loved her dearly.
Tony, her son. Looking at his actions, I guess he loved her, in a way. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe.
Cath, her daughter. Despite giving her expensive gifts and cash over the years, she had utter disdain for me. The only reason I can guess is that I was in the way of her using her Mom for free babysitting more often. Not that she ever invited Fran to her house to visit more than a couple times a year. It was a babysitting gig or nothing.

The kids _both around 40 now came to help with snow shoveling or yard work once in 17 years,

Great kids.

We were not married. No I'm not secretly Gene Simmons of KISS, Just some religious reasons.

Ok, so here's how my week went.

Monday, around 8 at night, Fran laid back at the kitchen table. I called to her, and got no response. As quickly as I could, I got in my wheelchair and went to her. When I noticed she wasn't breathing, I called 911. They came and, well, she was gone.

I called her family and told them what happened and told them the EMS took her to the hospitl. There she was pronounced.

Looking back, I was in so much pain, I let the man I treated as a son for so many years in my house when I should have told him no.

He immediately began looking for her life insurance papers!

When he couldn't find them he said he would come back tomorrow. Again, I'm in shock so I agreed.

Well, I live in a two bedroom mobile home. And Fran was a bit of a hoarder. Sorta controlled. She was under so much stress from the past 16 months that I was in the hospital, with facing death a few times, and her Mom in a nursing home getting calls about her dying every other month, well she must have cracked.

She started filling both rooms with empty boxes and other crap. So far we have removed 50 bags, and god knows how many armloads of boxes.

Wednesday was the day Tony and Cath were going to come and start to cleanup the mess their beloved mother left and to see if there was anything of hers they wanted.

Again I'm still in a state of deep mourning so I stupidly agreed.

They show up with 4 more people, Tony's wife (a really nice and decent lady-the only decent person in the horde) Cath, her daughter (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.'nuf said) Fran's sister, who slithered in the back door along with someone I never met, and still haven't and the grand daughter Tony and his wife said hi, and she gave me a hug. Cath and her daughter, didn't say anything, just glared. They all left the same way, without a word. The only thing I said was "Please ask before you take anything, as not everything in the bedroom was hers." Who knew with her crazy behavior over the past 2 years what was now stored in that room? And to not go in the other room as everything in that room was either mine or the Spawn's.

My daughter, my sister and a friend of mine tried to make sure they were doing the few things I requested. They didn't. Cath went into Spawn's room. Spawn told her to get out. She replied it's not your room. Spawn said it was. Unfortunately, Spawn told me after the horde left.

And Spawn noticed Tony knocking quarters out of a 50 states map and pocketing the quarters. Question his character? Heavens no.

Trying to get my life back a bit, I found my checkbooks. The 40,000 dollar balance is now 900 bucks.
I found my last credit card statement. When I left it was 0. Now it is over 20,000,

Turns out Cath and daughter greedily accepted 4000 in cash, and god knows how much in prizes. I got sick after seeing a credit card bill for a 180 dollar pair of boots, and a 150 dollar collectible doll. Tony and family pocketed a cool 6000 bucks. All this from mom's Social Security, as she collected 1000 per month, along with her medical bills of 800 per month leaving her a cool 200.

All this in the 16 month period in which I was hospitalized.

THE FUNERAL

Believe it or not, this is the funny part.
There was no viewing because Fran didn't want one. There was no memorial because they are money hungry. There was a funeral, because those are free.

The funeral was scheduled on a day when I have dialysis, and could not get to the Mass on time. I cut my time short so I could make it, albeit a few minutes late.
The family sat in the front with tears because their ATM, umm I meant mother died.

I had my family, a social worker, and friends there to support and restrain me. They did a pretty good job.I yelled out hypocrite when the teary eyed daughter did a bible reading. I patiently waited for God to smite her. He did not. Damn.

Finally, I lost it. When they proceeded out of the church, I respectfully waited until Fran passed then I started in on these lowlife jerks. When I saw Cath pass I yelled out "What, did you poke yourself in the eye? The tears were phony.

Then I got in the center aisle and said "I'm the guy who loved and supported this women for almost 20 years and this family scum won't recognize me."

Immediately some old hag said she knew the family for 47 years. I said "I feel sorry for you."
She said, "what did Fran see in you?"
In a friendly manner I said "shut the fuck up." She said "You should be glad we're in church." With a final fuck you to her , I rolled away. She told her fellow bitchasaurus that she would slap me if she wasn't in a church. Spawn overheard and said "That's my dad you are talking about and no one better even think about trying to slap him. You have to get through me to get to him."

When leaving, I saw Cath's daughter, walking along and totally ignoring me. I yelled "Tell your mother I hope she dies and takes you with her."

Yeah it was mean, but it was heartfelt.

When the Spawn got into her car, a car with some old hags(we're assuming Cath's friends)pulled up behind her and started yelling and giving her the finger telling Spawn, "I hope you fucking die." Spawn(always ready to protect her dad) quickly jumped out of the car and said, "What the fuck did you say bitch?" The car then sped off. When they were a far enough distance away they then gave her the finger again. Cowards.

I still have to get copies of the death certificates I need, and the reading of the will. I need to get lawyered up.

The end.

Father Kerrigan was right.

I feel better.




http://www.humorbloggers.com ell the family

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thank you

Truly I would like everyone for all your kind words. They meant a lot.

The funeral istomorrpw.

Thought for the day:

Step children and in-laws

Can't live with them, can't leave them in a bloody bullet-ridden pile.

JFTR


Mrs. C was pronounced dead late Monday and her family showed up late that night to go through her stuff. I won't trouble you with details but it got much worse after that. Hence the thought.



http://www.humorbloggers.com