Saturday, November 28, 2009

I think I need another pain pill

Here's the long awaited first pulished photo of my surgery. Just looking at it makes me want to have the Lovely Nurse Treena inject me with some Dilodin.

I've been sick and in pain this week, so I haven't been able to post. Prepare to be filled in.

I had minor surgery on Monday. Idiot assistant doctor caught my back in some machine 4 (four, IV, quatro) times. leaving me slightly bruised. Yay for pain meds!

I decided to give up cursing, so if anyone calls me I'll mime most of the conversation.

This will be funnier for those who know me: I'm on food supplements and apettite enhancers. The nurses giggle when they give them to me. The supplemnts taste like a melted McDonald's vanilla shake, with added chalk for texture.

Type to youse soon.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Change is coming

I expect to be discharged in a few weeks. Mrs. Crotchety isn't too thrilled with my embracing of the diapered life, and she mentioned something about potty training.

Or was it paper training?

Ether way, warm soapy water clean ups are a thing of the past.

And I don't expect to say "Don't be shy, dig in there," anytime again soon.

Youse may have noticed I'm answering your cumments again. Proof I'm doing better.

I'll cut this short as the ambulance will be here shortly to take me to the doctors for an appointment and the pain meds are kicking in.

In about 5 minutes the hallucinations start.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The crazy night nurse strikes again

Regular readers know about ny crazy night nurse. She woke me up one time at 2 a.m. for my 4 a.m. pickup for dialysis. Another time she woke me up at 2 to make sure I wanted to get up at 3;30.

Well Friday she struck again.

My wake up time is 3:30 a.m. (Jealous? Don't be a hater)

Anywho, she comes into my room at 3:40 and I am sound asleep. She wakes me out of what was obviously a deep sleep then she asks me if I'm ready to go.

I smell like warmed over gym clothes, and my diaper smells exactly as you think it would.

No, I'm not. So she tells me they'll be in to get me ready, and hands me Dilodin. Normally, I get it before dyalysis because the transport guys are as gentle with me as Rocky with a side of beef. But if it is too early, I babble incoherently. It was too early. So I got to explain to transport what they had to do while I was high. Surprisingly it all worked out.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Groping nurses and more

As most of you know, September was a Dilodin filled month. I spent most of it sleeping and hallucinatting.

Or so I thought.

According to Mrs. Crotchety, and my doctor, both fairly credible sources, I had taken some nurse and refused to let her go.

I asked Mrs which nurse it was and she said she didn't know. I told her Ihoped it was Nurse Treena because she is the most beautiful nurse in the world. No such luck.

And now Mrs. isn't speaking to me.

Oh, I wanted to thank Marisa who called me yesterday. Her call was a pleasant break from the incredible boredom around here

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

So much great blog fodder

So much to say, I hope to have more days when I feel well enough to sit up and blog.
I hope to visit everyone's blogs soon. I've gone to a few over the last couple ofdays.

Because of my drain bamage I have trouble reading longer posts because I forget what I just read. I have trouble counting, too..

The mission of pt is to try to get me to stand up. I haven't stood in months, so it's kind of a major undertaking. They have put me in a couple weird Rube Goldberg (Kids look it up) machines. They have used various devices to do it, but so far, no luck. Today they couldn't even get me out of bed.

Be back tomorrow with some Diloudin-laced adventurous memories.