Thursday, June 30, 2011

Oy vey

This really annoys me.

I fool around with language sometimes, but I know it.

But when a major news outlet anchor uses incorrect language, well, it is just so stupid it is irritating.

Last week, they were discussing a mom killing her kid. The anchor referred to it as matricide.

How stupid can they be?

I often hear among young people the word coversating Oy!!! Conversing, please.

And I've even seen teachers write the non-word alot. A lot, Teach.

I gotta go. Conversate among yourselves 'til I get back.

Namaste to youse

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The one degree battle

Nope, it's not like 44 40 or fight. ((Putting my History degree to use.)

And nothing to do with Kevin Bacon.

The Mrs and I have an ongoing battle over theair conditioner.

She sets it 1 degree lower when I leave, and I raise it 1 when she leaves. Neither of us will speak of this.

Some 95 year olod lady had her diaper searched at the airport because security found a hard object in her diaper. Ewwwwwwwwws.

Remind me to never work in airport security.

My "Be a Swami in 30 EZ lessons" is going well.

Namaste and Ohhhmmm to all of youse.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Now that Weiner is gone

where will the media get their inane stories to cover. Guess it's only a short time 'til another politician finds himself with his pants down, so to speak.

Had to pass on all jobs for a while. In about a month I need to go in the hospital
for prosthetic training, and in the meantime I need to get pre-training.

But today, while watching my Saturday Indian programming (Namaste America) I saw a commercial for a Swami.

First thought

Swami Crotchety

I could do everything he did, except remove black magic.

The Google must have ways to learn that.So coming soon

The Crotchety Swami.

Type to youse soon.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Weiner-gate the saga that never ends

New photos were released today where he flashes his guns. (snicker)

I had bigger guns when I was 12.

And still, in interviews with some New Yorkers, they still support him. "It's his personal business."

People over 80 shouldn't be allowedn to vote without an IQ test.

Now that I think of it, under 80 should have one,too.

Did you know in NJ, retarded people can vote. I used to work in Social Services so they pick up the folks and cart them to the polls.

Most of them can't tell the difference among a cartoon, a documentary, and the news. Nice to kinow who is determining our future.

When I get my leg later this month, I'll put blue pinstripes on it.

Love my Yankees.

The fun raiser didn't go so well last weekend.

A lost slightly inebriated guy showed up, which seems to be my core of supporters.

My new campaign chest totals @12.35 and a button. I should probably auction the button on ebay. It's really nice.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Creepy edition

Did you see the Jell-o pudding "Pudding Face " ad?

I think they stopped the campaign already because they were, weel, uh... creepy.

Apparently, pudding leaves one with pudding face, which looks like Jack Nicholsons portayal of the Joker in the movie Batman.

Who thought this was a good idea?

Talking about creepy, doesn't Weinergate get creepier every day?

Damn crazy New Yorkers still support him.

Next, he will get treatment, and come back crying that he was ill, and ask forgiveness, and soldier on.

Oy, what a ....ummm.... err....weiner.

Here's an example of your tax dollars at waste. I meant work.

In the next month or so, I'll be fitted with my orthotic leg returning me to more or less a contributing member of society.

I have to spend a few weeks in the hospital for this, because Medicare will pay for that, but not a visit to rehab, which would be a fraction of the cost.


Stay cool.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Damn! It's hot!!!!!

But the research and development at Crotchety Old Man Enterprises and Discount House of Worship have been hard at word solving the problem.

First, we developed a pants fan.

The wimmins model gave the testers an...ummm....well let's say a sorta Brazilian.

The mens?

My lawyers have advised me not to talk about it.

So our nezt phase of development (hey, Edison didn't make a working lightbulb on his first try) was a pants air conditioner. It is nearly completed, but the engineers can't decide if it should be powered by 2 car batteries with a handy yet handsome carrying case, or a really long cord.

I will get back to you once it is perfected and passes UL testing.

A campaign update.

I rolled around the neighborhood and solicited donations. I collected $11.16 and a button.

We have scheduled a fund raiser luncheon at Wendy's.

It's $5 a plate for Nuggets (spicy or regular) and choice of beverage.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011


The biggest news around here (New York news outlet) is Weinergate. Congressman Anthony Weiner was accused of sending pictures of his, umm, err naughty bits aka (snicker) weiner to various wimmen on his Twitter account. For a week or so, he sadi his account s hacked. Of course, late yesterday, he admitted he did it all himself. He went on TV, and after the mandatory crying session, he asked for forgiveness and said he would not resign.

How magnaminous of him.

Today it was revealed that he had phone sex with a porn star, possibly while he was on government time, using government equipment. It gets interestinger and interestinger. Is there any public servant who can have some self-control?

Not Ahnold, Not those crazy international bankers, and not the Weiner man.

I know I've been MIA for a few weeks. It would be great to say that I was abducted by an alien all female biker gang, who made me do unspeakable things, but that would mean I'm lying, and there is would be a tear-filled apology in my near future.

So, a quick explanation is:

I suck.

And now, my lame, but true excuse.

When I was in the hospital, followed by many months of rehab, I was diagnosed with depression. So, the doctor prescribed happy pills. While my hope was for myself becoming a grinng, drooling, idiot. Not nearly achieved, sadly.

So they doubled the dosage and were still far short of my goal.

After a couple months of therapy I was able to do what I pass for normalcy.

Well, the last few weeks I fell into what could be called a funk.

So, I owe you an extra- sized blog post. Not saying it will be good, but it will be long.

At this time I would like to announce my candidacy for President.

I'd hope my running mate would be

Richard Simmons

My entire platform hasn't been drawn up yet, but for starters:

No left turns. They cause accidents and traffic jams.
No politions with funny names.
No white before Labor Day. Or is it after Labor Day?

Either way it's a start. If you have more include them in the comments, as my candidacy is a work in progress.

My campaign slogan is "Vote for Crotchety. He needs a job."