Thursday, August 12, 2010


So Mrs. "C" let me know that I hadn't written her a poem since "that big tree in the yard was a sapling."

This was weird because we are treeless, but we all have our delusional moments. Hell, I occasionally think I am the King of Portugal. Anyway, I gathered up all my romantic energy and came up with:

"I loved you then.
I love you today,
Even though your butt
Is now Ginormous."

It did bring tears to her eyes as she gently dabbed her peepers. She became so overwrought with emotion that she started punching me. This is common when one gets so overcome emotionally that they act inappropriately. Even to me, a patient with a healing stump!

Maybe I will try another, but get youse opinions first:

"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
And you still
Have nice hooters!"

I bet she'll be pleased. Wimmin love a compliment...


Sandee said...

It's a wonder you are still alive after that first poem. Just saying. Mrs. C. has the patience of a saint. The second one isn't as bad, but you do have a one track mind.

Glad to see you are feeling better. Hugs to you both. :)

Anonymous said...

Hmm. Remind me to NEVER allow my husband to read your blog.

You're just a little bit too inspiring, ya know?


Unknown said...

I stand in awe. Alas, I just thought I was the epitome of a manly man, but in comparison to you, I find myself lacking. Just to be clear, you were thinking of your wife when you wrote that--right?

nonamedufus said...

You're a real renaissance man, Joe. A true romantic. Must be the drugs...

nonamedufus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donnie said...

Nice going Shakespeare. You'll slay her with that one. Don't forget to get your guard up first.

ReformingGeek said...

Oh yeah. It's a classic.

**rolls eyes**


00dozo said...

At this point, flowers would be more appropos (sans poety card).

Nice to hear you're on the mend and feeling better!

LL said...

You really should start writing greeting cards. I can't see how any woman wouldn't have the same reaction as Mrs. C did. Just think of all the love and tears you could be responsible for sharing...

Maritess G. said...

Wow Joe...your else. LOL!

Glad you're feeling better

Janna said...

If divorce lawyers secretly bought stock in Hallmark, we'd see all KINDS of cards like these.

On the bright side, they'd all be 99 cents.

The cards, not the lawyers.

apartments in dubai said...

That was nice attempt to poetry. I liked your spirit of writing it. :) I got an inspiration from you and here is mine:

Roses can dry
Rivers can dry
U can forget me
But how can I??

Madge said...

How about
I see London, I see France, I see gray in your underpants

My husband wrote that to me once.... I knew it was love