Tuesday, June 07, 2011


The biggest news around here (New York news outlet) is Weinergate. Congressman Anthony Weiner was accused of sending pictures of his, umm, err naughty bits aka (snicker) weiner to various wimmen on his Twitter account. For a week or so, he sadi his account s hacked. Of course, late yesterday, he admitted he did it all himself. He went on TV, and after the mandatory crying session, he asked for forgiveness and said he would not resign.

How magnaminous of him.

Today it was revealed that he had phone sex with a porn star, possibly while he was on government time, using government equipment. It gets interestinger and interestinger. Is there any public servant who can have some self-control?

Not Ahnold, Not those crazy international bankers, and not the Weiner man.

I know I've been MIA for a few weeks. It would be great to say that I was abducted by an alien all female biker gang, who made me do unspeakable things, but that would mean I'm lying, and there is would be a tear-filled apology in my near future.

So, a quick explanation is:

I suck.

And now, my lame, but true excuse.

When I was in the hospital, followed by many months of rehab, I was diagnosed with depression. So, the doctor prescribed happy pills. While my hope was for myself becoming a grinng, drooling, idiot. Not nearly achieved, sadly.

So they doubled the dosage and were still far short of my goal.

After a couple months of therapy I was able to do what I pass for normalcy.

Well, the last few weeks I fell into what could be called a funk.

So, I owe you an extra- sized blog post. Not saying it will be good, but it will be long.

At this time I would like to announce my candidacy for President.

I'd hope my running mate would be

Richard Simmons

My entire platform hasn't been drawn up yet, but for starters:

No left turns. They cause accidents and traffic jams.
No politions with funny names.
No white before Labor Day. Or is it after Labor Day?

Either way it's a start. If you have more include them in the comments, as my candidacy is a work in progress.

My campaign slogan is "Vote for Crotchety. He needs a job."



Sandee said...

Weiner is a loser. Just saying. But most politicians are.

Glad to see a post from you.

You and Mrs. Crotchety have a great day. :)

vanilla said...

Whyever your absence, it's good to have you back!

Sweetea: candidate for the new prohibition.


ReformingGeek said...

I'm sure there are a lot of zipper problems out there. I guess some of them are smart enough not to get caught.

I don't want to see anyone's sausage....

I'll vote for you and Richard.

Marcia said...

You got my vote, and I think I speak for all wimmen. . .

Melanie said...

Good to see a post from you!

You've got my vote. I'm sure you could do a darn sight better than most of the current bozos.

Dave Lucas said...

Hard to believe people don't keep their guards up - especially those in the public eye!

nonamedufus said...

You're not gonna make us all wear those shorts that Richard Simmons wears are you?

Good to see you back on the interwebs DOM. My best to you and Mrs C.

LL said...

Hmmm... I'd say you already have all the major planks covered.

I would suggest that it become mandatory to eat a big steak every Friday, even during Catholic lent. Hey, if healthcare can be made mandatory, we've got to make it mandatory that everyone needs it... right? It's only fair.

Da Old Man said...

@ Sandee: Weinergate is getting worse. And it seems it will never end. Until the next "gate"

@ Vanilla: Believe it or not, I placed fourth in the county spelling bee when I was in 8th grade.

@ Reffie: Me neither. No wonder I'm not on twitter anymore

@ Marcia: Thanks for your vote

@ Melanie: New campaign slogan: The Bozo you can trust

@ Dave L: Arrogant little putzes, aren't they?

@ Nonamed: No, NBA style ones

@LL: Nah, Gummit is too involved in our lives already

wwillow27 said...

welcome back :) you could require that everyone has a gun rack, either in their home or on their car. 2nd amendment enforcement

busana muslim said...

Well ... really good tips. But it's also a bit confused ngikutinnya, understand, somewhat clueless too ... he he :)