Tuesday, May 12, 2009

You Can Bank on It.

Disclaimer: All folks who work the drive thru window may not be the dumbest people on the face of the earth, however, the dumbest ones I ever met work the drive thru window at the bank.

Yesterday, I was reading one of my favorite blogs, and I was reminded of a few dumb bank worker experiences that I have had.

My current bank (actually a credit union) has absolutely the worst customer service anywhere. If no one is in line in front of me, I can count on taking at least 5 minutes for the simplest transaction. For me to just deposit a check, it takes at least that long. If I want to take money out?

Other banks have opened branches, gotten government bailout money, wasted it, and merged with other banks in less time. I need to provide 2 forms of ID, a note from all my grandparents, and my third grade report card, along with a urine sample and a complete and detailed explanation of how I plan to spend my money, if they decide to give it to me. After providing all that documentation, the teller usually goes to lunch, and I have to go through the process all over again, or wait until the original teller returns from lunch in 3 days.

Ok, maybe I've exaggerated slightly, but seriously, it has taken as long as 15 minutes to deposit a simple paycheck and get a few dollars back as the teller checks, then rechecks, then runs a report.

But, the single dumbest drive thru teller I ever encountered ever was a few years ago.

Sadly, this stoy is 100% true.

I had 4 (four) $50 bills, cash total $200. Here's where it gets tricky. I told the teller I wanted to deposit $180.

She then told me that my balance was under $20, so I couldn't get $20 back until the deposit (of $200 in cash) cleared.

I patiently explained to her that it was cash. She told me it was bank policy.Photobucket

Now, I have entered the realm of "Difficult Customer." I could see it on her face. I could see it in her dull eyes, reflecting her barely functioning brain.

I demanded that she go to ask someone else. She was pretty annoyed. She slammed the counter. I wasn't driving off, though.

Finally, I demanded to see the branch manager. She was pretty angry as the incredibly stupid seem to always be. She walked away in a huff. A few minutes later, she returned, and, as she let me know, as a courtesy, she agreed to give me my $20.



Squidsquirts said...

You have drive-thru banks??? We in South Africa have those too, but they involve AK47s and balaclavas.

The Hawg! said...

Wow. That is pretty stupid.

As for drive through tellers, I've always had the urge to stick a rat in the plastic canister thingie and send it through the system. I'd fill out a deposit slip and everything.

The look on that tellers face when he or she noticed I'd sent a tube full of rat through would be fantastic.

I haven't gotten up the nerve to do it, though.

A New Yorker said...

This is what happens when you give "jobs" to people who don't deserve it...while smart worthy people sit on unemployment.

Unknown said...

The drive throughs where I am at have, at the request of a customer,actually taken someones lunch and heated it up for them in the bank's microwave. I swear that is a true story.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

Oh my, that's outrageous. I think you should definitely look into changing banks.

Michelle said...

As a courtesy she agreed to give you your money!!

How very courteous!!!

Unknown said...

You just can't fix stupid!

You gave me a good idea for a post about drive-thru experiences.


ReformingGeek said...

That's hilarious! I don't why but I'm amazed at how people like that keep their jobs.

Unknown said...

Remember what I said about keeping them in the kitchen.

Unknown said...

Boy--- apparently that woman didn't get too many cash deposits. To wait for the cash to clear... HAHAHAHAH...

Donnie said...

Interesting... My "bank" is also an FCU. I know they operate by different rules than FDIC banks, but hell the government owns most of those now. How could it possibly get worse than that? Hmmm, sure seems it does though.

Secondary Roads said...

I had a couple of similar experiences at a bank. That was just before I fired them.

shyne said...

Hey, COM! You ran into a Peter Principle Person.
When some people get to where they got to, it appears they should never have left the starting gate.

nonamedufus said...

In Canada they've cut out the customer service altogether with ATMs at the bank and, get this, drive-thru ATMs. The only drive-thrus with people are at fast food restaurants cause I guess people need their fast food faster!

Chris said...

Chris's "How to Deal With Stupid People Tip o' the Day": Shoulda just had her make change for one of the fifties first, bro. Wouldn't have been as funny a story, but you would've saved about an hour.

Sandee said...

And they breed too. Bwahahahahaha. What an idiot.

Have a terrific day. :)

Frank Lee MeiDere said...

Went to my bank to convert two twenty dollar bills into Loonies and quarters (a "Loonie" is a one dollar coin). I had to fill out forms and show ID.

I had to fill out forms.

And show ID.

Unknown said...

They SERIOUSLY let people THAT stupid handle money? That's nuts!.

Our bank clears checks immediately.. one day I had deposited a check to bring my account from the negative to the positive by $500. I asked for 100 of it back.. she told me until the account was positive, I could not get any money. I then explained that I would leave the drive through.. go to THEIR ATM and pull out the money. She told me to go ahead, but she was not permitted to give me the money.. WHATEVER...
I ad no trouble getting cash out of the ATM


brokenteepee said...

erm, the publicist started her long and illustrious banking career as a drive in teller. That is where she met the male person. He asked her out through the drive in window.
erm, she eventually became a vice president before she got her aneurysm and lost her mind.

she married the male person 27 years ago which might have accelerated the losing of her mind but that is another story.

erm...she gave VERY good customer service through her drive in window. You just picked the wrong bank!

DouglasDyer said...

Hilarious! "As a courtesy" - those smug bastards.

Anonymous said...

Many, many moons ago I was one of those drive-thru tellers.

I'm quite certain I was never THAT dumb.

I'm quite sure.

And to Frankly..I'm a loony too, but I'm worth much more than one dollar! Ha!

Da Old Man said...

@ Husbands Anon: Most of our banks have drive thru windows. If anyone ever devises a toilet system for my car, I'll never get out of it.

@ The Hawg: That sounds like a Youtube video waiting to happen. Use a fake rat, though.

@ Lauren: Uh huh.

@ Etta: That would not happen around here. Nope, no way.

@ Karen: I've changed banks pretty often. The Credit union, slooow as they are, is better than any of the local banks.

@ Michelle: Yeah, it made me feel good.

@ Sherry: Can't wait to read it.

@ Reforming: I wonder how she got it, let alone kept it.

@ FishHawk: You are going to get into trouble.

@ Jenn: It was more than a brain fart, too. She was pretty adamant.

@ Don: Who knows? They are so bad.

@ Secondary: I'm about out of banks.

@ Shyne: So true

@ Nonamed: We have drive thru ATM's. And they have instructions in braille. You know, for all those blind motorists.

@ Chris: In retrospect, sure. But who would have expected that kind of hassle? I presumed I wasn't dealing with an idiot.

@ Sandee: I'm sure they do.

@ Frank: They may have been worried that you were planning something nefarious, walking around with all that change.

@ Dizz: Go figure. At least now you knoiw why banks fail.

@ Pricilla: Tne publicist is the exception that proves the rule.

@ Douglas: Exactly. Could have just apologized.

@ Quirky: I'm sure you weren't. Not all tellers are.

Anonymous said...

Rote learning - it has eliminated the need and ability to actually think. If you have A TD bank any where, try them - excellent service. We also use a credit union and they are lovely too.

CastoCreations said...

Good grief. Sometimes people astound me.

My credit union usually rocks. 97% of the time. Usually credit unions have a higher standard but it sounds like yours waves those. :)

Unknown said...

Come on dad, I was just trying to have some fun. You and mom have fun. Why can't I have any?

Carl said...

Did you kiss her toes and say thank you?

Da Old Man said...

@ Grace: The really slow service is at the credit union. They have been annoying me for other reasons.

@ Casto: I belong to a second credit union that is wonderful. Unfortunately, they are in another town, and hard to get to.

@ FishHawk: It's fine. It's not me who is going to yell at you.

@ Carl: She probably would have wanted that.

Winky Twinky said...

Wow, it's truly unbelievable... yes, they walk among us, and unfortunately they do not wear signs... I guess I should be thankful for my credit union, they are wonderful...

Lin said...

Idiots. They're everywhere. I love the part where the cash has "to clear"--which means she has no idea what that means. Sigh. We are going to hell in a hand basket. Fast.

Unknown said...

Stopping by to say hi..

HumorSmith said...

Nice. I love that lag time until deposits clear. It's like never getting paid.

Da Old Man said...

@ Winky: It is pretty amazing.

@ Lin: No doubt. And it seems the dumber they are, the more insistent that they are right.

@ Dani: Good to see you, my friend.

@ Humor: I know.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

That would be something I'd do, but only out of complete and utter stupidity. But, that person wasn't me, because I'm not a banker, and never would be, because I cannot add worth my life.

surveygirl46 said...

Stupid as the "hold" on clearing cash is it is a bank policy, why i have no fkn idea. It's the stupidest rule I have ever heard and makes no sense whatsoever. Do they have to wait until the "money" clears to make sure it's not counterfeit? OR, maybe it's a ruse to give them time to actually come up with your cash from their bank????