Tuesday, June 02, 2009

More Fun with Side Effects

I watch a lot of TV, and because of that, I get to see a lot of commercials. I like the commercials, even though they may get to be repetitious.

A few years ago, my family went on a cruise, and one of the onboard activities was a trivia contest. The Spawn went with me to lend moral support. She was around 9, so she wasn't going to be much help, anyway.

They announced that the topic was commercials. Spawn looked at me and said, "Looks like you are going to win the contest, Dad."

It was a battle, and I tied with an ad executive, so we had to have some bonus questions.

Of course I kicked his butt. Commecials were how he made his living, but commercials were my life. I won some trophy that looked like the ship. Spawn immediately took it, and I never saw it again.

My favorite commercials are probably the medical products ones. I really enjoy the side effects and the disclaimers. They always advise everyone to let the doctor know about other meds, and medical conditions.

Seriously, if the doctor is such a doofus
I was absent that day in med school
that you need to make medication suggestions, shouldn't you consider another doctor?

I thought so.

But anyway, my new favorite commercial is for a sleep remedy. It has an awesome side effect: hallucinations.

There are people who pay big money for that effect in illegal drugs. And the best part? The commercial illustrates hallucinations by having a chicken show up at inappropriate times. That is one kick ass hallucination. I need to get that prescribed for me.



Unknown said...

those pharmaceutical commercials are unbelievable. that's how they test the new drugs out. let the population use them and report back the side effects. yea, right, i'm not going to be their guinea pig.

Adullamite said...

"..I won some trophy that looked like the ship. Spawn immediately took it, and I never saw it again..."

That made me laugh! Just typical!

Anonymous said...

How funny!

I personally like the commercial for Aciphex (sp?). It's supposed to relieve acid indigestion.

But if you were just to say it out loud and not see the word?

Aciphex = Ass Effects!


Marie said...

Too funny! I am sure Spawn is just saving it for you and it will emerge, polished and shiny, just when you need a nostalgic moment.

Actually, I know you will never see it again. I am just trying to make you feel better.

The drug commercials are preposterous! I cannot believe they are at all effective. Because if I were a doctor it would irk the piss out of me if a patient came in and told me they wanted a medicine they saw on TV. I would deliberately not prescribe it. Even if it would be good for my patient. Which shows you the kind of doctor I would be. lol

I take a trillion meds. Some of them list euphoria as a side effect. Do I ever get effing euphoria!?! No, of course not.

There is no justice in this life.

A New Yorker said...

HA! I think you hallucinate enough.

The Peach Tart said...

This made me laugh.....I usually fast forward through the commercials...I didn't realize they were so entertaining....I'll have to start watching

Moooooog35 said...

I like the E-Trade baby ones and anything that discusses anal leakage as a side effect.

Good times...good times..

ReformingGeek said...

Yeah. Anti-depression medicine that causes depression and sleep medicine that causes insomnia. Hum.....

I like Quirky's comment!

Kelly Ann said...

Commercials rock! My favorite are the ones that never make it to the tube, there is always some very hilarious commercials on youtube. :)

nonamedufus said...

I'm contemplating taking Viagra. That erection lasting more than 4 hours sounds mighty tempting.

DouglasDyer said...

Dude, your cock is huge!

Skip said...

I've often marveled at how it takes the advertisers longer to list all the side effects and warnings than it does to talk about the benefits of the drug.

Me-Me King said...

I particularly like the commercial listing the side effects for the medication to relieve Restless Legs Syndrome - may cause excessive gambling and unusual sexual urges.

Sandee said...

Congratulations on winning the ship thingy that Spawn took.

That bird is scary. I don't want those kind of drugs. You can have mine Crotchety. Bwahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

Donnie said...

The trial lawyer's ads are killers too. Jeez, like if you've suffered from xyz symptoms blah, blah "including death", you may be eligible...on and on.

Unknown said...

Currently, my wife and I's favorite commercial is the new Wendy's Frosty one with the boy band. It makes us want to get jiggy all over.

P.S.: Props to Quirkyloon for mentioning Aciphex! (Sorry, I don't know how to spell the sounds that Beevis and Butthead often make, but that's what I am trying to imitate right now.)

The Hussy Housewife said...

I agree...when I don't fast forward with my DVR through commercials..medical ones are my fav. I am sure as soon as people hear this hallucinations side effect..people are gonna be lined up and proclaiming INSOMNIA!

brokenteepee said...

Hey, there are 52 chickens running around my goat pen right now and I am NOT hallucinating! I want them out of there. I did not sign on to be some chicken baby sitter. This is supposed to be a GOAT pen!
Sorry you lost your trophy.

The Hawg! said...

Haven't seen that commercial yet and I do believe I'm missing out. Seriously? The medication can make you see chickens?

Odd way to illustrate a side effect...

Frankly, I absolutely hate the names of medications. The stuff I take for my ulcerative colitis is "Asacol." I'm not real clear if the first part of that is pronounced "ass" or "ace," but it's clear they worked the prefix for "colon" in there.

Damn, damn, damn.

Da Old Man said...

@ PJ: Actually, you are not that far off the mark. Drugs are tested, and they know in advance that a certain number will have adverse effects, such as death. The FDA does not keep us as safe as we like to believe.

@ Adullamite: Totally. I wonder what ever hapened to it?

@ Quirky: Ass Effects is a great name for a product that cuts down on...uhhmmm, gas.

@ Marie: The euphoria would be welcomed, too. All I ever seem to get is anal leakage.

@ Lauren: I enjoy a good hallucination.

@ Peach Tart: They are better than most of the TV shows.

@ Moooooog: The baby cracks me up. Especially the golf one "Shankapottomus." LOL

@ Reforming: The ones that make the problem worse are great.

@ Lady Sarcasm: I've seen a bunch of those. Love 'em.

@ Nonamed: Yeah, imagine going to the ER with that problem. Gunshot wounds, heart attacks, car crash victims, and you with an erection that won't go away. That should make the doctors LOL.

@ Douglas: Thanks for noticing.

@ Skip: And they only list a few.

@ Me-Me: I need to take that med.

@ Sandee: Thanks. I'll email my address for the drugs.

@ Don: They have taken ambulance chasing to a new high. Or is it a new low?

@ FishHawk: And the Frosty with Toffee is pretty good, too.

@ Hussy: You got that right. Hallucinations are like a vacation without leaving your home.

@ Pricilla: Double whammy. You'll need something to help you sleep, and you'll have hallucinatory chickens along with actual ones.

@ The Hawg: Asacol? You know everyone calls it "ass and col" even if it's the other way.

kathcom said...

I know that one with the roosters. It's for Ambien. I love that stuff. It's just so...zzzzz.

Kirsten said...

I need to see that commericial!! Oh yeah, I can't because I have had an erection for longer than 4 hours and I need to call my doctor. : (

Lin said...

I'm thinking that a big giant chicken appearing at inappropriate times is NOT a good thing, right? I never did a lot of drugs or anything, but I'm thinking I'd quit drugs right then and there if a big chicken appeared.

Crabby Blogging Lady said...

I don't have a TV, but I do hear those drug ads on the radio, where the actor rips through the "side effects" list very fast. One time, I managed to catch "death" as a side effect. Death?! That'll teach ya to suggets a drug to your doctor!

Da Old Man said...

@ Kathcom: Just don't operate any heavy machinery

@ Kirsten: Oy! I wouldn't have guessed that.

@ Lin: I like the idea of a chicken showing up. Makes life exciting.

@ Crabby Bl Lady: Death is probably the worst side effect.

Unknown said...

I haven't seen the commercial but I think I've seen the chicken.

Unknown said...

I haven't seen the chickens yet-- just that Lunesta moth. But I am fond of the sleep aid ones where Abe Lincoln and the groundhog show up.

Also the side effects of "excess gambling." Is that a side effect, or is it the day the Social Security checks come in down at the racetrack?

Six of one, half a dozen of the other around here...

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