Crotchety the Etymologist

I pay attention to words, how they are used, what they mean, and that stuff. I guess I could be a junior etymologist. I like words, but I'm not really committed to them.

Anyway, some words are starting to just really annoy me. The current one is "historical." I get it, Obama is the first President with African roots, or whatever the heck the press has decided is so historical. Our first black President? Our first half black President? Whatever, anyway, every single thing he does is historical.

Ok, by definition, isn't everything everyone does historical? Could the word be any more overused? Is there anyone in America left who doesn't realize that everything Obama does will be the first time he does it as President? It's all historical. Enough with the historical hysteria.

The next word that is really getting on my last nerve is "natural." Pizza Hut has an all natural pizza, with natural pepperoni. Yeah, I hate those other pizza joints that sell pizza with fake pepperoni.

And what the heck is a natural ingredient? The pizza could be made from whale testes and sewage sludge and would be natural.

Do you know what is in natural pepperoni? Do you want to know? I'd guess not. Do you care? If you did, you probably wouldn't eat pepperoni, natural or otherwise.

And I leave you with this: Am I the only one bothered by commercials in favor of high fructose corn syrup? The average American consumes 40 lbs of that crap per year, and the commercial states it's fine in moderation. What is moderation? We currently consume nearly a pound per week per person. No wonder we are so fat. No one ever explained moderation. Maybe the commercial should state that, too.


www.humorbloggers.com