Understanding the Female Mind

This post is a rather scholarly treatise, and is directed at the male readers. Youse wimmins can go try to figure out what Yaz is or read the Oprah Book of the Month until tomorrow's post.

Ok, I'll see you ladies then. Take care, have a nice night.

Are they all gone?

Good!

Ok, guys, here's what I need you to know. I am one of the foremost students of wimmin. I study them, and have even lived with a few of them for research purposes, so I'm pretty much an expert. Now, here is what I learned today while watching The Price is Right.

We don't have to buy stuff for wimmin. Nope. I'm telling you, Drew Carey suggests that they MAY be getting a new car or jewelry or a washer/dryer (They rarely do) and yet they have a reaction that could only be described as "orgasmic."

We've all read of this female reaction, but so few have ever seen it outside of the fake ones in movies. Yet when Drew says "What do you bid for this stuffed aardvark," they attain nirvana, shaking and crying and according to When Harry Met Sally, that's the goal of every man.

Have what she's having

I know what you are thinking. "But Crotchety, you have already adorned the Crotchety Old Lady with the finest jewels and even bought her an ergonomically designed snow shovel. Isn't it a bit late in the game to change?"

Yes, Grasshopper, I understand your concern. But, it will all be explained in my new book, "Wimmin, Go Figure.
A Manly Man's Guide to Chicks in the 21st Century."

I expect this book to be one of the most important ever written, and it should will be included in most college level wimmin's studies programs.


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