Divorce sucks

I spent time on the phone yesterday speaking to an old friend. He's going through a nasty divorce. His can't be soon enough ex-wife is really making it hard for him. It's not the financial part of it, it's that she is engaging in spiteful behavior. How can two people who used to be in love be so vicious towards one another?

I know the old joke is that divorce is so expensive because it's worth it, but why does it have to be hurtful? Funny part is, this is the third divorce I've heard of recently where the one who initiated it by doing things that were wrong in the context of marriage, act like they were so aggrieved. Can't anyone own up to their shortcomings? Won't anyone admit wrongdoing any more?

I'm going to my buddy's memorial service today. He and his wife were together for 27 years. They had rough patches, but they got through them because they started out as friends, and worked through problems and stayed friends. I never heard Bob utter an unkind word about anyone (ok, maybe a few of his bosses, but we all know what jerks they can be) and perhaps that is a huge part of the reason he and his wife were so happy for so long.