Starve a cold, feed a hallucination

Or something like that.

I was in pain the other day, so I took the pain patch that I haven't used in about a month. I also took some Oxycodone before going to sleep. That night I had so many hallucinations and nightmares. There were people in the room, and, of course, I hallucinated that I pooped in my bed and it was alive. Some of you may remember my hallucinations in the hospital involved pooping Mardi Gras beads. Why do my hallucinations always seem to involve poop? I guess that is for my psychiatrist to figure out.

Which reminds me, in the hospital they took several x-rays of my butt. I asked them to let me know what they found up there because I'm missing some stuff.

They didn't find anything so I received a couple enemas and some prune juice.

Happy times!!!




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Spam for colon health

No, not

but those annoying little emails. Though I am pretty sure that canned stuff will clean out my colon as well as anything.

Has everyone noticed that spammers tend to mix it up a bit from time to time? No longer do I get those lovely messages suggesting that they can embiggen my naughty bits, or offering me exclusive access to videos featuring, ermmm, a more loving relationship between man and the animal kingom. No, today, spammers are very interested in my colon.

Not only do they offer me various exotic products to make me poop like a racehorse (I've seen a racehorse poop, and it made me jealous) but the spammers remind me of my own inadequacy in this matter on a daily basis.

And that isn't bad enough. Every day, at least in a few messages, there is a notification that an ex has been seeking me.

Would she be so interested if she knew I have fecal insufficiency?

Is it to much to hope she knows how to use



I keep adding names to my blogroll. If I'm on yours, and you aren't on mine, please remind me.

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