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I spend about 16 hours a day on the computer, and another 16 watching TV, and probably a solid 10 hours thinking of stupid things to write about..
How, you may ask, do I manage to fit all this into just one day?
Through the magic of multi-tasking.
Oh yeah. I’m the king of multi-taskers. Through judicious use of the remote, I’m able to watch Baywatch, “The History of Cereal,” Yankee baseball, and Olympic Women’s Beach Volleyball all at the same time, while chatting with my friends online.
And by the way, Women’s Olympic Beach Volleyball is possibly the greatest multi-tasking sport.
I can be a sports fan, a good American, and a pervert simultaneously.
Amateur Athletics Rule
Now, I did mention contemplation. I do watch the occasional commercial. I want to know for whom these commercials are targeted.
ShamWow. Well, I’ll skip that one because everyone needs one. But I do have a question. During Vince’s spiel, he mentions that “You are going to spend $20 a month for paper towels anyway.”
Ok, I just checked the price on paper towels. The most expensive are around 2 bucks a roll. Which works out to about a roll of paper towels every 3 days.
Honest question: what the hell are you people doing with all those paper towels?
Then I caught a commercial for a gold buying company. The woman in the ad, “Had no idea my gold was worth that much.” Implying she thought it was valueless.
Ok, anyone who had no idea gold was valuable, please raise your hand. Oh, no one?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Then Kathy, our intrepid representative who finds all the cooking gadgets to solve our needs is now pimping some pasta cooker. Because we all know how difficult it is to cook pasta. We need to boil water, put the pasta in and then dump it out. Definitely need some stupid plastic piece of crap to make that easier.
Kathy To the Rescue
If you order now, it comes with 2 knives. A red one for meat and a blue one for vegetables. Easy to remember because of all the blue vegetables, I guess. And the only meat they show being cooked is fish, which comes from the ocean, which is blue, so...never mind.
I’ll just get a cool kitchen gadget like this:
Can you guess what this is?
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