Go to Newark, and Make a Left

A few years ago, I worked in a gas station on Rt 1 northbound in New Jersey. In addition to the sheer joy of pumping gas, checking oil, and washing windshields for customers who were usually angry with me because it was so expensive, (like my name was Joe Exxon) I spent considerable time giving directions to perhaps the dumbest individuals ever to operate a motor vehicle.
I don't mean the person who got lost while looking for Costco, I mean the dumb bastages who couldn't get to Rt 1 Southbound.

Here's a picture, taken from Rt 1 S, and you can see Rt 1 North, right next to it.

About a mile up the road from my gas station job

And, all day long, cars would stop in and ask how to get to Rt 1 South.

Pretty confusing, because in NJ we have these wacky signs indicating where all turns can be made.

Wonder what this sign means?

The drivers must have assumed that the little wall goes all the way from Maine to Florida, I guess.

But, I really enjoyed that we were near a turn off for another busy road. Constantly, dumbasses distracted drivers missed the turn. Often, they would pull in and ask me how to get back to the road they missed. It was pretty simple, just go up a few hundred feet and take the next turn, but the really friggin stupid adventurous ones backed down the road, against oncoming and heavy 55 MPH traffic. The occasional accidents made my day.

Usually, my fellow pump jockeys and I gave accurate directions, even when the drivers asking were jerks. But, one day, I was just pushed over the edge. Yeah, it's usually not that far, but anyway...

It was pouring rain. Windy and nasty. A horrible day to work outside. We were sitting in the office (the station was an older one, and didn't have the little shack most of them have today) and a woman pulled up about 100 feet away, and started flashing her lights and a blowing her horn. I went out because, it could have been a regular customer, and maybe she was having a problem.

In case my mood wasn't foul enough already, she just wanted directions. She didn't get the standard "jerk directions" to go to Newark, and make a left. Hers were much more customized and rather "colorful."

http://www.humorbloggers.com/