Monday, June 22, 2009

Important Heroes for the 21st Century

Various magazines will list heroes all the time.

Actors, athletes, and politicians always seem to dominate that list.

Yeah, I know. People who pretend to be others, adults who get paid to play games, and slimy liars.

But every so often, a true hero comes forth. I present one of these heroes, David Traver.

America's Most Humble Hero
Against world-wide competition, and in a contest normally dominated by Germany, Mr. Traver brought home the gold a few weeks ago.

In Alaska, the home of manly men and nervous sheep, Mr Traver, a real life Mr T., battled his way to the top of the heap in

the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championship.

Mr T and his beard stylist worked hard to craft and dye his beard into the shape of a snowshoe that simply wowed the judges.

Like a true champion, immediately following the competition, Mr T announced his retirement and vowed to shave.


Lola said...

That's just all kinds of gross.

Kelly Ann said...

I don't know I was thoroughly impressed with Jack Passion's fire red beard. But the weave action that David showed was genius! :)

Chris said...

Begging the eternal question, "Why?"

Janna said...

If little girls could grow beards, they would spend their slumber parties doing elaborate basket-weave styles just like this, while telling fun ghost stories and chattering about boys.

Sorta like Cindy Brady with a severe hormonal imbalance.

A New Yorker said...


Joanie said...

I think it's cool!

The Peach Tart said...

That's nasty.

ReformingGeek said...

I hope he didn't just shave. He could have sold it on Ebay!

nonamedufus said...

Little known fact. When the manly men aren't out chasing um, er, sheep (there are stange things done 'neath the midnight sun)they spend a lot of time in bars. Mr T's beard has caught on in a big way to prevent real men from suffocation in a snow bank when they get falling down drunk!

Nooter said...

real men of genius:
today we salute you mr beard-hair basket weaver

Gianetta said...

Would have made a good caption this picture.

Anonymous said... I feel itchy and icky all of a sudden.


Moooooog35 said...

I hate wicker.

Marie said...

Eeeeeeeew. That is just...yuck. It is simply beyond understanding what some people will do for entertainment.

Thanks, Joe, for expanding my awareness of Things I Would Rather Not Know Existed.

brokenteepee said...

methinks someone needs a life.

Chaotically Calm said...

Clearly I am in the wrong line of work.

Donnie said...

Snow shoe? Looks like a waffle to me. Obviously we have more waffles down here than snow. Way to go T!

Unknown said...

Whoa, I had no idea such a contest existed. I think I will enter next year. For my beard has served as the nest for seven broods of buzzards (a.k.a. turkey vultures) so far, and I that deserves some consideration.

Sandee said...

What Lola said. What Chris said too.

Have a terrific day. :)

Da Old Man said...

@ Lola: It's different

@ Lady Sarcasm: He worked well with his beard stylist.

@ Chris: It's important.

I think

@ Janna: Pretty much.

@ Lauren: It does have that weave

@ Joanie: I thought so, too

@ Peach Tart: Only if he gets stuff in it.

@ Reforming: I think he shaved for charity

@ Nonamed: Multi-purpose

@ Nooter: Nice

@ MA: It would have

@ Quirky: There's an ointment for that

@ Moooooog: Me, too. Long story.

@ Marie: You are quite welcome

@ Pricilla: Facial hair isn't a good hobby?

@ Chaotically: Aren't we all?

@ Don: It's seasonal

@ FishHawk: Good luck with that

@ Sandee: Thanks

Unknown said...

Now I have that song Dream Weaver running through my head.

Or maybe it should be more like Nightmare Weave... Not sure. :)

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I didn't expect to see that beard, but you ain't seen nothin' until you see the contests for armpit and pubic hair. Some people will do anything to win a trophy.

Winky Twinky said...

Nooter: That would have been a great caption for this picture!! DOM, if you hadn't posted this, I never would have known...thanks for the enrichment.

Da Old Man said...

@ Jenn: That works

@ Mike: Pass

@ Winky: Glad to help

Unknown said...

Fabulous! You know the worries of the world are not on his shoulders. I'll bet it was fun weaving that beard. Ah who the hell am I kidding. 'sigh'

Kirsten said...

Congrats to David!! Unfortunately, life if downhill from here!

LL said...

I damn near kept growing mine in order to go and compete up there this year, but I broke down and pruned it back. Looking at that pic makes me wish I'd have kept at it. Seriously.

Bunk Strutts said...

Funny. I glanced at the post title and read it as "Important Herpes..."

Then Lola wrote, "That's just all kinds of gross."

It seemed to fit.

Madman said...

Would make a great fly-catcher..

Melanie said...

Here I was thinking that except for the beard, he's kinda cute. And at least the beard is neat and clean. I've seen far worse.

Blogger said...

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Many times people don't believe me when I tell them about how much money you can make by taking paid surveys online...

So I show them a video of myself actually getting paid over $500 for doing paid surveys to finally set the record straight.