Thursday, June 04, 2009

Joe Versus the Volcano

Were you expecting a movie review or some reference to that Tom Hanks movie of the same name? Nope, ain't happening here. That movie was fiction, while this post reeks of truthiness.

I eat very little fast food. Sure, the occasional pizza, but generally, I avoid those places. But every month or two, the commercials get to me, and we order something. Last month, it was the Wendy's Frosty with coffee mixed in (yeah, I'm a wild man.) This month, I saw Taco Bell has the Volcano Taco back. I remember having them before, and they were tasty and mildly hot. I bitched and complained nicely suggested to the Crotchety Old Lady to make a run for the border, and get me a couple tacos.

So, Monday night was Volcano Taco Night at Casa Crotchety. And all was good until Tuesday morning.

That is when the volcano struck!
Curse you, Taco Bell

Things have pretty much settled down, but we will choose a bit more carefully next month.

Does McDonald's have a prune McShake?


Gianetta said...

Muy Loco, Senor Jose!

jayewalking said...

LOL! There is a reason we call it "Taco Smell" here. And yet every once in awhile I do get a craving for it!

Chris said...

Um, TMI, Crotchety, TMI.

Moooooog35 said...

My house is a veritable world of Pompeii.

Being covered in ash is the least of my family's worries.

Kirsten said...

That'll teach you to try to put some spice into your life, old man!

ReformingGeek said...

Trash can in one hand and butt on the pot? I hope not. Glad things are moving along (pun intended)!

I have some soup I made with vegetarian refried beans. I can send you some. ;-)

Unknown said...

The worst of it is the after-burner affect, oooweeee ouchy!

Anonymous said...

Occasional anal blows can be good for the soul Old Man.

And baby wipes are soothing as well. Especially the extra sensitive ones, or the ones with aloe.

Not that I would know about that stuff. I'm too young.


Donnie said...

I remember that taco I think. Didn't it have the green sauce on it? Anyway, I ate one several months ago. It was okay, and while I didn't get the "squirts", my stomach rumbled for a couple of days.

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. You crack me up Crotchety. Did the misses have the same problem? If so I hope you had two bathrooms. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. :)

brokenteepee said...

Uhm is it worse than goat gas? Even after I have eaten the cabbage?

Unknown said...

Instead of calling the paramedics, maybe the lovely Ms. Crotchety should make another run for the border the next time you get stuck in the hallway?

Mike said...

Did you do a poo post?

That's awesome.

Don't use febreze, it doesn't work for poo.

Unknown said...

I would have thought the "Volcano" in the title might have been a tip off for some sort of... um... elaborate self-expression on the taco's part.

Da Old Man said...

@ MA: Es verdad

@ Jayewalking: Usually, we go to Baja Fresh, which is a bit less dramatic

@ Chris: It's more a warning to others. I'm the Paul Revere of faux Mexican food.

@ Moooooog: It wasn't exactly ash that Mrs.Crotchety was worried about.

@ Kirsten: Back to jell-o for me.

@ Reforming: Thanks. All is pretty much done moving.

@ Etta: That didn't bother me, thankfully.

@ Quirky: I did learn of the joys of baby wipes

@ Don: Lots of rumbling before the eruption

@ Sandee: She didn't eat the Volcano Taco, so all was well.

@ Pricilla: Much worse. Honest. Even worse than Abby's gas.

@ FishHawk: She had the 9-1 dialed.

@ Mike: Thanks. What should we use, in case of an accident?

@ Jenn: And it certainly was.

Unknown said...

"prune mcshake" lmfao

I really have no comment to this...lmfao

Lin said...

Ohhhhh. TMI, Old dude.

nonamedufus said...

Funny, funny. I wonder if that's how they named that thing in the first place. Some marketing guy at Taco Bell HQ may have had the same reaction and said "eureka"!, er, ah, "volcano"!

kathcom said...

I love the Volcano Taco. It's like Roto Rooter.

Finally there's a fast food whose name promotes truth in advertising.

Da Old Man said...

@ Stacie: That is the one thing I would really fear.

@ Lin: Just trying to educate and inform.

@ Nonamed: Volcano really covers it.

@ Kathcom: Much better than Sennacot or Metamucil.

A New Yorker said...

You had better NEVER raz me about my texts to you from the bathroom again after this post!

Joanie said...

Don't you just hate it when spicy food burns you twice?

Unknown said...

Hilarious. Just hilarious! But, I agree with Chris; it's TMI or even WTMI.

Janna said...

The trick is to build up a tolerance.

I suggest starting out with two per day, then three, then five.
Add Fire sauce as needed.

Best wishes.