How to eat at a buffet

Yeah, I know. I'm still cranked up about Atlantic City. I couldn't blog about everything, and rather than just give an uber-blog, I decided to break up all my crap into tiny segments. Easier to read, and who knows, maybe it will make sense.


First, what the hell happens to old people at a buffet?

I was behind these two codgers who had to be, now this is just an educated guess, somewhere between 127 and 140 years old each. They probably baby sat John McCain's parents. I'm talking freakin' old.

I'm no ageist, but for crying out loud, these codgers drive me crazy.

In the breakfast buffet, they must have spent 5 minutes deciding

1) if they actually wanted a slice of tomato for breakfast
2) which slice of tomato they wanted

Finally, after settling on a tomato slice, it was off to the cereal section.

Corn Flakes...no, put those back...Cheerios...Do we like Cheerios...put that back...get the Corn Flakes...ooooh, look, oatmeal...put the Corn Flakes back...oh wait, I'm not in the mood for oatmeal, go back and get the Corn Flakes...but Cheerios has more fiber...wow--they have mini bagels.

Do I even have to tell you how the great cream cheese vs butter vs jelly vs orange marmalade round robin debate went?

I swear, if they kept sharp knives there, I would have slashed my wrists and bled out right by the fresh cut melon.

Then we went back for dinner. Amazing what I'll go through to get a cheap steak for the Crotchety Old Lady.

We were seated near a table of old timers, and one habit I've gotten into is looking at how much people tip. My kid is in the restaurant industry, so I like to check out these things. That, plus I'm nosy.

Anyway, I've noticed at buffets, most people, especially the old codgers, either don't tip, or leave peanuts.

What's up with that? The ones next to me ran the server ragged. He brought them their drinks and refills, kept the table cleared from their multi-course meal, was helpful, and the 6 of them left a 6 dollar tip. Dinner was over 20 bucks each, and the big spenders left a buck each. WTF?

Maybe a dollar was a big tip back in 1952, but it's nothing today. After dining on steak, crab, shrimp and other gourmet items, how about throwing a brother a duece?

I'm Back

My mini vacation is over. Atlantic City is none the worse for wear.

Here's one of the pictures I risked my life for:


Video roulette is da best

It's just like you have been taken into the deep, seedy underbelly of legalized gambling.

Bet you feel dirty, now, too.

Ok, go take a shower, I'll wait.




Here's another, one of our many big wins at the slots.



You'll note we ran our 20 bucks all the way up to $36.60.

We were living la vida loca, baby.

Right after this the cocktail waitress came by and we ordered our drinks.

The Mrs. had a Mojito, and I had a Vodka martini--shaken, not stirred.

Ok, those were the most exotic drinks I could think of. She actually had a decaf coffee, no sugar, and I had a bottle of water. I suck as a party animal. After too many years of treating my body like an amusement park, I'm paying the price. I have gone from James Bondsesque adult beverages to Richard Simmons approved ones.

**sigh**

Greetings from Atlantic City

I got the Crotchety Old Lady up around 5:30 this morning ( I wonder how much this contributes to her Crotchetiness) and had her take some sunrise pictures from our window. I hope everyone likes them.





We are having a good time here. I think I understand part of the reason why Donald Trump is a billionaire, and I'm playing the penny slots.

I decided I wanted a water bottle. A cheap ass plastic water bottle. It says Taj Mahal on it, so, in essence, I would be advertising for Trump.

Guess how much it would have cost?

Come on, guess.

Nope, way more than that.

Give up?

Ok, it was $16.00. Sixteen freakin dollars. Dies y sies dolares.

For a freakin plastic water bottle.

I told the Old Lady I wouldn't pay $16 for a water bottle even if it were filled with Ivanka Trump's sweat.

OK, she thought that was disgusting, too.

Oh, and I took some pictures of the Harley that I wanted to win at the penny slot machine, and I was told I better put the camera away, or they would call security. I'm not going to post any pictures from inside the casino until I am safely home. Don't want anyone storming in here and impounding my camera, or roughing up the Crotchety Old Lady.

I'll try to take some more pictures. We forgot the extra batteries, and I didn't want to pay 12 bucks for 4 new AA batteries. Oy vey!

Be back later.

Go Figure

The guy who cleans up our yard came by today. The Crotchety Old Lady pointed out that he's always so nice and pleasant. I told her that I would be nice to someone who was paying me $100 cash for an hour's work, too.

Life is interesting with her.

I'll be heading down to Atlantic City next week, so I'm looking forward to that. I want her to buy a new camera, so we can take some pictures, and blog from AC. We'll be at the Taj Mahal which has become our favorite casino. We used to go to the Showboat, which is right next door, but they have gotten a bit annoying.

I had a ticket for a free giveaway of some crap. I asked her to go get it. But noooooo, they had to have me there. Because I guess there were a lot of people stealing driver's licenses and going to AC to pick up some cheesy gift. Yeah, that's the current big money scam. Funny part is everything at the Showboat involves going through some sort of maze. It's ok for walking, but when one is riding, well, that becomes a whole 'nother game. I usually wind up crashing into walls, or knocking over displays. Handicapped accessible, my ass. Trump's Taj is much more friendly, although--travel tip for the disabled here--Showboat has better bathrooms.

I'm coming for your cash, Donald.



He appears upset and concerned.